Curious-One Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) Your problem is not that you're busy, it's that you don't have your priorities straight. You're not making room for what's important in your life and you need to re-evalue your priorities and align your daily actions to those priorities. did you read yahoo article today ??? It pretty much said the same thing for people using the i am busy excuse. Calling all busy women...How do yall find time to date? I mean busy as in can maybe go on a date once or twice a month. Lol hotpotato i am in same shoes as you. In the process of starting my own company and studying for CPA exam. I would love to find a girl taht would be fine to go out on a date few time a month and talk on the phone few times a week. That has not been the case any girl i date expects to go on few dates a week but what gets me more then that is the fact that they expect you to call them and text them EVERY DAY or they think you losing interest , not interested in them or cheating on them. It also doesnt help that most girls i meet are not ambitious at all... they are perfectly fine with their $15/hr job where i would like to be a billionaire some day and make difference in the world (mostly help homeless people get back on their track cant really do that with a regular job). I would love to meet a girl that is ambitious and wants to make big things happen in her life ... I feel like that would be huge advantage to our relationship. Now can i absolutely say that i dont have time to date few times a week ...no i could make time. Do i think ROI on dating is worth it at this point...NOO If you ask me i would much rather spend that time with friends who i know i will have a good time and they have been there with me since middle school rather then with some stranger who mostlikely could care less about me. Edited July 21, 2015 by Curious-One
joseb Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I would love to find a girl taht would be fine to go out on a date few time a month and talk on the phone few times a week. This sounds like it might be enough for some people - once a week ish, plus some other chats. Certainly not everyone, but some. Definitely less than once a week would be tough. That has not been the case any girl i date expects to go on few dates a week but what gets me more then that is the fact that they expect you to call them and text them EVERY DAY or they think you losing interest , not interested in them or cheating on them. Yeah this is what drives me nuts too. I'm not going to do that anymore!
joseb Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 You could always cut into your fitness schedule. I believe in staying fit, but you need to live too. Unless you are training for some sort of pro sport, you shouldn't need that much time dedicated to fitness. When I was power lifting, I only did about 7 hours a week, tops. I can't even imagine being there for 35+ hours in a week. Wow. Yeah even training for ironman I topped out at 20 hours per week and that was for just 3 weeks. I can't imagine doing that long term. You need balance in your life.
Eggplant Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Only once you discover you like somebody and want to invest more of yourself would you need to rearrange your current busy schedule. But you're not there yet, so don't jump off that bridge. If you're just meeting a stranger, in the beginning, you don't need to date more than once a week or so: it fits with your schedule.
Jj66 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 You have exactly the same amount of time everyone else has: 24 hours a day. You'd like a guy who'd be willing to see you only once a month. They exist, but they're not boyfriends. They are booty calls.
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 "I'm too busy" is the best excuse ever for being single...I know investment bankers in NYC that do 100 hrs/week, sleep under their desk a few nights a week, and can still get out on 2-3 days/week...you're never too busy if you want to date, it's just an excuse for being lame... Yep, "too busy" is a lame excuse....usually used by women to tell men they are not interested in. That's it. I know a local meteorologist that's MARRIED with THREE kids that gets up at like 2 a.m. for work..yep, she had time to even get MARRIED with having such a busy career in her life.
Author hotpotato Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 The problem is you will not have enough time to build up any connection with someone you see that infrequently. What are you competing in that takes 35 hours a week training? How important is this in your life? Some of that was stuff I was doing before, now I spend a lot of time on problem areas.
Author hotpotato Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 Yeah even training for ironman I topped out at 20 hours per week and that was for just 3 weeks. I can't imagine doing that long term. You need balance in your life. I don't do it every single week, at least not 35 hours. I do take a deload week.
Author hotpotato Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 Yep, "too busy" is a lame excuse....usually used by women to tell men they are not interested in. That's it. I know a local meteorologist that's MARRIED with THREE kids that gets up at like 2 a.m. for work..yep, she had time to even get MARRIED with having such a busy career in her life. Did she marry a coworker? If so, that wouldnt be surprising.
veggirl Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Whats the point of a guy you see ONCE A MONTH? You'd barely even know him. No guy who wants a girlfriend is gonna be interested in that. Seriously, you'd NEVER actually get to know each other.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I only really have time to date 1-2x a week. Even that seems not to be enough time. Last couple of guys I dated constantly wanted more time and I had to keep them at arms length. They settled for my pace but I got a lot of snarky comments on how "they can't really get to know me". Not enough time seemed to stop relationship progressing to a deeper level. I also find that with a new guy sleeping over, I barely get any sleep. Also my body needs to be groomed to be "sex ready" at all times. Just takes so much effort that even 1-2x a week throws my schedule off. I lose focus on my work, and just feel permanetly tired. For example, if I spend a weekend with a guy, first thing I do when I get home is take a 3 hour nap It just seems crazy to me to give priority to any random guy you are just starting to date... 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 It just seems crazy to me to give priority to any random guy you are just starting to date... Got to start somewhere. I knew women like yourself that regretted working a job that required over the typical 40 hour work week. First, I'd refuse to obligate 60 hrs a week to a job and find some kind of government job that would allow for that. Chances are these guys work those kinds of hours, I'm guessing. I've seen a couple of OK Cupid profiles of women in their 40's that quit such a job that decided at point in their lives to not have a job be a priority (I never did and my co-workers never did as they had families and social lives that took priority over that. They'd mention IN their profile, "I've focused a lot on my career the past decade, but now I'm deciding to put my priorities elswhere." I knew some women in our work place that'd have their boss say to them, "I need you to work this weekend" and with them saying, "Sorry, the grand kids are going to be over this weekend, can't do it" and that'd be the end of the conversation, lol.
GravityMan Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 It's pretty simple. People will MAKE time for things, activities and people in their lives that are important to them, even if they work 80 hours per week. They don't even have to think very hard about it...they just figure it out and do it. I know a couple of people who work 70-80 hours per week (and perform well at their jobs), and manage to date & have relationships, and have a decent social life with friends, and exercise several times a week, and manage to get about 6 hours of sleep on average. 70-80 hours per week certainly isn't for everyone (I'm strongly opposed to it myself). However it is doable while simultaneously having dating, fun activities w/ friends and hobbies in your life on a regular basis, and without burning out or becoming stressed. "Too busy" is often code for "not interested in you".
Toodaloo Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 When people say they're "too busy" it makes me think of a client of mine. He works 80-90 hour weeks running his own patent law firm. Yet he still finds time to practice baseball with his son 2-3x a week, take his daughter to activities, and make time with his wife. I think for a lot of people with somewhat normal schedules, 2x a week at least isn't that hard to do. It's usually just a matter of priorities. This is it. I am rarely still at home at 7am and rarely back home before 10pm... I make time to date. I work out what I can fit it where, what I can drop or postpone. Some times I admit I refuse to go out of the house simply because I want to do my ironing... For the right guy I will find a few evenings a week to spend time with him.
Popsicle Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I plan to let nature take its course in this. The more I like a guy, the more I want to see him. The less I like him, the less I want to see him. It requires no deep thought or planning, it just happens. And the same has been true, ime, of men and how they handle this. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 "Too busy" is often code for "not interested in you". Yeah, this should put this an any "He/She is too busy to date" thread to rest.
Author hotpotato Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I only really have time to date 1-2x a week. Even that seems not to be enough time. Last couple of guys I dated constantly wanted more time and I had to keep them at arms length. They settled for my pace but I got a lot of snarky comments on how "they can't really get to know me". Not enough time seemed to stop relationship progressing to a deeper level. I also find that with a new guy sleeping over, I barely get any sleep. Also my body needs to be groomed to be "sex ready" at all times. Just takes so much effort that even 1-2x a week throws my schedule off. I lose focus on my work, and just feel permanetly tired. For example, if I spend a weekend with a guy, first thing I do when I get home is take a 3 hour nap It just seems crazy to me to give priority to any random guy you are just starting to date... That's how I feel..In short, I don't want to sacrifice my lifestyle for a random guy. First dates need to be short and sweet and fit into one of my time slots.
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