I thought I was mostly over her, then I got this setback

[TZilla11]

Been NC with my ex for 1.5 months, she told me she loves me, then gets into relationship with an ex two days later, went full NC and slowly getting over it.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/533871-feel-completely-betrayed-my-ex-gf

 

Last three days have been rough though, barely been getting any sleep cause I keep getting dreams about her.

 

First night I dreamt that I got a message from her saying how much she still loves me, and wishes we were still together, then I actually woke up, checked my phone and obviously there was nothing there. Chit kind of hurt, brought some of the feels back cause I'd wake up every morning to some message from her saying how much she loves me, or some other cute girly stuff. I always thought those who break NC are weak, but I realized that its not weakness, its ***ing hard, you go so much time talking to and caring for another person, then they do something that makes them vanish from your life. I was so tempted to message her, but held together, it's hard.

 

Last two nights I've been waking up to dreams of her ***ing her new bf, while laughing at me in the process, I can't get that sight out of my head, its been depressing me these last two days.

[DexterLS]

I wish I could tell you more encouraging words but it's been hell for me as well. Hang in there buddy, there's nothing else we can do.

[Thistooshallpass21]

I feel for you man it's been a little over a month NC for me and 2 months since BU. I've had a dream about her every day, but all we can do is keep pushing. Look through the windshield not the rear view mirror.

[TZilla11]

I'm moving along, atleast trying to, but two things have been bothering me that I really want to know

 

1. I want to know how the hell she can tell me she loves me and then get back with her ex two days later, plastering his pics all over FB and Instagram, knowing I'll see it. How the **** can someone justify that? You love someone one day, two days later you do something that you know will hurt them, how the hell can you justify that?

 

2. I want to know if her current bf is the rebound, or if I was the rebound. We were together for a year and a half, and her ex was her first ever bf from high school. Its an ego thing, this has honestly been bothering me the most.

 

I know I'll never get the closure, but if I could get two questions in my life answered, it would be those two

[mightycpa]

I'm moving along, atleast trying to, but two things have been bothering me that I really want to know

 

1. I want to know how the hell she can tell me she loves me and then get back with her ex two days later, plastering his pics all over FB and Instagram, knowing I'll see it. How the **** can someone justify that? You love someone one day, two days later you do something that you know will hurt them, how the hell can you justify that?

 

2. I want to know if her current bf is the rebound, or if I was the rebound. We were together for a year and a half, and her ex was her first ever bf from high school. Its an ego thing, this has honestly been bothering me the most.

 

I know I'll never get the closure, but if I could get two questions in my life answered, it would be those two

 

1) Young girls are funny that way. That's what they do right before they dump you out of the blue. I happen to believe it is because they are fighting guilt and trying to convince themselves, and it reaches a frenzied pitch right before they give you your ticket to Splitsville. You wouldn't believe how common that is.

 

2) My guess is that in a few years, you'll see that both of you have been bounced. Young girls are funny that way too.

[DexterLS]

You won't get any kind of answers/closure from her.

 

I have so many questions on my mind too. I am just learning, day by day, to let it go. I hope you can do the same too!

[Thistooshallpass21]

1) Young girls are funny that way. That's what they do right before they dump you out of the blue. I happen to believe it is because they are fighting guilt and trying to convince themselves, and it reaches a frenzied pitch right before they give you your ticket to Splitsville. You wouldn't believe how common that is.

 

2) My guess is that in a few years, you'll see that both of you have been bounced. Young girls are funny that way too.

 

Just out of curiosity what do you mean by bounced?

[aloneinaz]

I'm moving along, atleast trying to, but two things have been bothering me that I really want to know

 

1. I want to know how the hell she can tell me she loves me and then get back with her ex two days later, plastering his pics all over FB and Instagram, knowing I'll see it. How the **** can someone justify that? You love someone one day, two days later you do something that you know will hurt them, how the hell can you justify that?

 

 

 

 

As far as saying she loves you, they are simply "words" nothing more. Her actions in getting back w/her ex where what mattered. This board is littered with stories just like yours. A person says they love the other, screw their brains out and dump them that day or the next.. Not unusual at all.

I'm not sure why you didn't BLOCK her on all social media. That would of taken the wind out of her sails. She can't rub something in to someone who can't see it. I hope you've blocked her and her GF's as well?

 

 

2. I want to know if her current bf is the rebound, or if I was the rebound. We were together for a year and a half, and her ex was her first ever bf from high school. Its an ego thing, this has honestly been bothering me the most.

 

I know I'll never get the closure, but if I could get two questions in my life answered, it would be those two

 

At this point, does it matter who was who's rebound? She's back with the other guy and you're free to find someone better. Usually rebounds don't last 1.5 years but there are occasions I guess. I think it was more like her getting bored w/you and he popped back up and she jumped ship. Again, not unusual.

 

 

You don't need "closure".. You need to move on and get over her. Closure doesn't mean anything. Again, the facts are you two are over and any investigation into the "whys" will be as accurate as a politician.

[TZilla11]

As far as saying she loves you, they are simply "words" nothing more. Her actions in getting back w/her ex where what mattered. This board is littered with stories just like yours. A person says they love the other, screw their brains out and dump them that day or the next.. Not unusual at all.

I'm not sure why you didn't BLOCK her on all social media. That would of taken the wind out of her sails. She can't rub something in to someone who can't see it. I hope you've blocked her and her GF's as well?

 

There's more to the story. The reason we broke up is cause she told me she wants a break to "figure out what she wants", and I dumped her when she brought up a break, I don't do breaks. We had a very mature amicable breakup, hence why I didn't block her at first. Went NC, but she messaged me two weeks later saying that she wishes she never said those words to me, still loves me, misses me, and wants to talk things out. I had a busy week, and told her that we can talk things out, but the following week since I was busy. Two days after that she got back together with her ex, and plastered all his pics, even though we were supossed to meet up the following week. I blocked her immediately after. But why would she say all that?

 

 

 

At this point, does it matter who was who's rebound? She's back with the other guy and you're free to find someone better. Usually rebounds don't last 1.5 years but there are occasions I guess. I think it was more like her getting bored w/you and he popped back up and she jumped ship. Again, not unusual.

 

 

You don't need "closure".. You need to move on and get over her. Closure doesn't mean anything. Again, the facts are you two are over and any investigation into the "whys" will be as accurate as a politician.

 

It really doesn't matter who's the rebound, its just the reason I keep getting these flashbacks I think is because being used as a rebound for a year and a half is a ****ty feeling, its kind of like someone telling you that you aren't good enough, and this other person is. Its a little immature of me, I know, but thats what stings me the most.

[aloneinaz]

I doubt you were a "rebound".. Most rebounds only last a few months. In all likelihood, in her mind, the relationship had ran it's course and she wanted a change.

 

 

A lot of people feel like they've "wasted" X amount of months or years when a relationship fails. I couldn't disagree more. We obviously had great times with these now exes that included many life experiences. We certainly got something out of it as well (love, companionship, sex, etc..) and view the time spent w/the ex in a positive light. I don't think anyone should feel "used" if someone came right out and said "listen, you were nothing but a rebound to me". We are all wearing big boy pants. If we're asking the right questions at the start of the relationship and monitoring their actions, we can pick up on someone still hung up on their last partner. When I was dating last, I met several women and figured out in a date or two they were NO WHERE near over there last relationship. I bolted, never to be heard from again.

 

 

All relationships are a risk. We go into them with eyes wide open knowing they can have a disastrous ending for us. It's part of life's experiences. We've all been dumped and rejected. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

 

 

I look back at my life and am grateful that I didn't marry my first love and spend the rest of my life with them. I've enjoyed all the different GF's I've had, even though a few relationships had EPIC meltdowns with lots of pain for the endings. Life is to be enjoyed and we do so by not taking things like this so seriously.