An ex who wanted to no contact appears to be following me online months later.

[superdub]

Sorry in advance for the massive wall of text. I had posted this elsewhere and then remembered I had a loveshack account and this was probably a better place to get advice on a breakup. If my responses are slow, it's because I am visually impaired and use audio mostly. Thanks for understanding.

 

 

In October 2013, my long-time friend and I started a relationship. We both had some behaviors from previous relationships and over the course of the next eight months, we got on each others nerves, we were verbally abusive and when a project we working on started to go south, we yelled and screamed at each other and she left. That would be in roughly August of 2014. We went to a few couples counseling sessions, I went to individual counseling, blogged about my nonsense. The break-up was crappy. Nobody respected "no contact" and the last contact we really had was in November or so. I sent her a message via text in January saying Happy New Year. I got an email from her in mid-January stating that she was moving back in with an ex. I didn't respond. In late Feb/early March, a mutual friend sent me a message that had two mugshots in it of my ex. She was asking if I knew what had happened and if the two very different pictures were for the same thing or not. I responded that I didn't, but the booking photo on one site had an address that clearly would not have been with the ex i thought she moved in with. So, I dropped a hand-written note to that address saying: Hey there, hope you are well, let me know if you need anything, Your friend, Dub

 

Her response was to file a temporary restraining order. Message received. I had done the wrong thing. The order was so off the wall I just let it go. She wanted to no contact, no sense in arguing with her. This was March 2015.

 

So, now, in July 2015, every social media site that I go on: (reddit, Facebook, snapzhu, etc) I get messages indicating that she is reading what I have written. On reddit, I am pretty sure I got "fooled" into thinking this and she might not be reading what I am writing at all. I think the gist of what happened was she had a username there and someone created a similar username because they read my stories in one place and hers in another and thought it was the same person playing both sides for attention or something. I am not entirely sure. They copy-pasted a lot of messages that looked like she was talking to me over the course of a few weeks. I just didn't really respond back to that username. I had given clear instructions to the ex's lawyer that I was totally willing to give "us" a shot with the court modifying the order to allow for it and with a therapist involved. I have been friends with this person for almost 20 years, I have a great deal of respect for her and think that with "time and professional help" there could at least be a friendship, if not a healthy relationship.

 

 

The mugshots for the DUI(s) were pretty out of character. To my knowledge, that's the first time she's ever been arrested. The restraining order took place within a week or two of that. So, I am not sure what drove that behavior.

 

 

What's unnerving is: I think she's behind whoever is sending me the social media messages. I feel like a boundary is being violated there and that she should go through the courts if she wants to talk because I have already been through a tumultuous marriage where someone abused a restraining order for advantages in a custody case and this EXGF knows that.

 

 

Why would she be following me around on social media in July 2015, after declaring she wanted to contact so many months earlier but not take the steps to go through the right channels to contact me?

 

 

In advance, I've ditched the social media accounts she's contacted or had someone contact because some of the messages threatened to go to journalists and police, but they didn't seem like real threats. They seemed like provocative messages.

 

 

I guess I'm curious what you would do if you were me and I know that someone out there might read this and have some experience with it.

 

 

I am seeing a therapist and we've hashed it out as much as possible, but we have other stuff to move on to, so I am turning to loveshack to ask.

 

 

Am I just being stalked? Or is this an ex who just doesn't know what to do? Is this even worth the time I have taken to type this out?

 

 

Thank you, in advance for your valuable responses and opinions.

[superdub]

Just responding to say the exgf/friend finally sent a giant package (several after) proving she was stalking the hell out of me and screen capturing and printing everything I was saying online.

 

No explanation, just insanity. I guess they really are exes for a reason.

[ChicagoSparty]

You might consider moving to a different state...like, tonight.

[superdub]

You might consider moving to a different state...like, tonight.

 

Yeah. I've deemed her pretty relationship-impotent and harmless at this point.

 

Six months ago, I would have said differently, but I just stopped caring.

[superdub]

You might consider moving to a different state...like, tonight.

 

If you ever find yourself in this position, just make new accounts everywhere and randomly post on all of them.

 

Make it like Whack-a-mole....way more fun.

[Calypso Girl]

.So, now, in July 2015, every social media site that I go on: (reddit, Facebook, snapzhu, etc) I get messages indicating that she is reading what I have written.

 

 

Not sure how you can ascertain this from Facebook. I thought it wasn't possible to know who's been reading public messages or looking at publicly shared photographs. Unless she's still befriended? I'm genuinely interested in this.

[superdub]

Not sure how you can ascertain this from Facebook. I thought it wasn't possible to know who's been reading public messages or looking at publicly shared photographs. Unless she's still befriended? I'm genuinely interested in this.

 

She made a Facebook account in a friends name and kept sharing the things on my timeline.

 

I realized it when I saw the friend had two accounts and asked about it.

 

On Reddit, another friend and I were flip flopping user names and she kept quoting the posts and leaving snide comments about my social media. Including Facebook.