NaivityKills Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 So I have had a friend for 10 years. Back in college we shared a bed with each other on more than one occasion. Especially nights where lots of booze was involved. In our entire college years, we shared nothing more than that bed and a lot of fun. We never kissed, we never dated... I found her attractive when we met, but she made it clear she had no sexual interest in me. I didn't mind, she was cool so we stayed friends. Over the years she has hooked me up with dates, had a few boyfriends. We hadn't seen each other in 5 years due to her living in Korea, me in the US. Then she moved to Kazakhstan, and I moved to a different state. She moved to Michigan and I was opposite the country, but we remained friends via social media and emails. Talking once every few months about major things going on in our lives. Any time we met, either of us was always involved with someone. I moved to Germany and she to the Netherlands. She came to visit a few times, and she had a boyfriend and I a gf, and it was just like old times. Super good times, fun, etc... Again, very platonic, there was nary a hint of romance. She moved back to the US and I did too about 3 months later. I am staying with my gf and she moved to an old town I lived in when I finished schooling. I went back to finish a publication with my boss and thought it would also be great to see her as well. She just moved there, I am inbetween jobs and broke, so I stayed in her apt. while doing my work throughout the week. She has a large bed and she offered to share it as her apt wasn't furnished yet with a couch. Before the flames come, I KNOW: boundary issues, I have a gf, sharing beds... BUT given our history of sharing beds, and a decade long platonic relationship, nothing crossed my mind of being dubious decision making. On the last night, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek and went for the lips. I turned my head and that was that. Do you think my gf will believe me and not break up with me?
empresario Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 So I have had a friend for 10 years. Back in college we shared a bed with each other on more than one occasion. Especially nights where lots of booze was involved. In our entire college years, we shared nothing more than that bed and a lot of fun. We never kissed, we never dated... I found her attractive when we met, but she made it clear she had no sexual interest in me. I didn't mind, she was cool so we stayed friends. Over the years she has hooked me up with dates, had a few boyfriends. We hadn't seen each other in 5 years due to her living in Korea, me in the US. Then she moved to Kazakhstan, and I moved to a different state. She moved to Michigan and I was opposite the country, but we remained friends via social media and emails. Talking once every few months about major things going on in our lives. Any time we met, either of us was always involved with someone. I moved to Germany and she to the Netherlands. She came to visit a few times, and she had a boyfriend and I a gf, and it was just like old times. Super good times, fun, etc... Again, very platonic, there was nary a hint of romance. She moved back to the US and I did too about 3 months later. I am staying with my gf and she moved to an old town I lived in when I finished schooling. I went back to finish a publication with my boss and thought it would also be great to see her as well. She just moved there, I am inbetween jobs and broke, so I stayed in her apt. while doing my work throughout the week. She has a large bed and she offered to share it as her apt wasn't furnished yet with a couch. Before the flames come, I KNOW: boundary issues, I have a gf, sharing beds... BUT given our history of sharing beds, and a decade long platonic relationship, nothing crossed my mind of being dubious decision making. On the last night, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek and went for the lips. I turned my head and that was that. Do you think my gf will believe me and not break up with me? Well, good news is you look like you're going to be honest about the whole thing. That shows a lot of integrity. Maybe I missed it, but how much does your GF know about where you've been and the history with this woman? This matters. If she gave you her blessing to go there and stay with your friend, then she is stable enough to believe you when you straight up tell her. If she didn't know about any part of that story (such as staying in your friend's bed) then all you can do is be honest and tell the truth. But be careful, she may be upset merely because you left out fairly significant details about where you've been and what you've been doing. Regardless of if she believes you cheated this may become a big issue. But we don't really know your GF or her personality...
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Doesn't matter how it was 10 years ago, this is now, you are not 20 years old and single. You over stepped your boundaries. Is your GF going to believe you? who knows. How will she react? Only time will tell. *Are you going to also include the part that you were attracted to her when you first met? And wanted to sleep with her?
Vintage79 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I'd probably just not mention it. To you, nothing happened, so tell her that nothing happened if she asks. In that sense, it's not really lying, in particular since you pulled away and did not signal interest towards her. If her kissing you meant something to you, how to handle it is a bit more tricky. Personally, I'd go with the nothing happened story, and just back away from this friend of yours, which shouldn't be hard, as she's out of state. I you want to be a bit more forthcoming - tell your GF that this girl tried to kiss you, which was weird, because it's been a 10 year platonic connection, that you pulled away, and that you won't go see her again. If you're GF is reasonable and trusts/believes you, you should be fine.
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