Quokka Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 So there's this girl. I am a 19 year old Male. Me and her have had multiple nights together however she has a girlfriend that she has had for 4 years. Yes a girlfriend. Here's how I know she likes me. She has told me this multiple times. One time in particular me and my friends went to spend the day with her and me and her hit it off great. After we all left she hit me up on phone and told me to come back to her place just me and her. So of course I jumped on the oppurtunity. We layed together on the couch touching each other and just enjoying each others company and she looks up at me and just says "I like you.. But" I reply but what? And she says "idk" to which I say well I like you too and that was that. We spent the night together that night and she was single at this time as she doesn't fool around with anyone when she's with her girlfriend. She gets these spurts where she doesn't want to be with her girlfriend and we'll usually spend time together when this happens. But she always goes back after each night we spend together and it really ****s me up. So I get over it only for it to always repeat itself. So what I actually want and what my problem is, I only want her as a girlfriend. I'll spend nights with other girls but in the morning she's the only girl I'll want to see in my bed. There's just something about her that makes every part of me feel so special. She makes me feel alive and I love it. She's like cocaine to me. And I can't get over it as it's been 3 years we've been on&off. Yeah I feel less pain now because of time but I always think of her. I tried texting her couple weeks back with a simple "hey whats up?" But no reply then two days after that she invited my buddy and I over through my buddies phone she won't text me personally though? ****ing weird but she said we could come over until her gf gets home. Anyway she doesn't reply, she's in a relationship but she said she'll never stop liking me so wtf is going on in her head. Any advice? Yeah I probably should just move on and get over this but as I keep saying she's the only one I want to wake up to.
Toodaloo Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 She's like cocaine to me. sounds like an addiction rather than love... And I can't get over it as it's been 3 years we've been on&off. Yeah I feel less pain now because of time but I always think of her. 3 years that she has been having an affair with you and using you for sex... what a lovely girl... I tried texting her couple weeks back with a simple "hey whats up?" But no reply then two days after that she invited my buddy and I over through my buddies phone she won't text me personally though? ****ing weird but she said we could come over until her gf gets home. not f***ing weird at all when she is keeping you as a dirty little secret and using you... classic cheating behavior in fact Anyway she doesn't reply, she's in a relationship but she said she'll never stop liking me so wtf is going on in her head. You may think that this is different because she is Bi. But this girl is a cheater. She is cheating on her girlfriend, her behaviour is secretive so she probably has other men and women that she is shagging around with too. My advice. Delete, block, ignore and get as far away from this girl as you can. In addiction terms its called "Cold Turkey". You really do need to change your thinking about this girl. She doesn't sound "all that" at all to me... 2
Author Quokka Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 You may think that this is different because she is Bi. But this girl is a cheater. She is cheating on her girlfriend, her behaviour is secretive so she probably has other men and women that she is shagging around with too. My advice. Delete, block, ignore and get as far away from this girl as you can. In addiction terms its called "Cold Turkey". You really do need to change your thinking about this girl. She doesn't sound "all that" at all to me... Okay so I would agree w you here but I don't know if you missed the part where I said we only hook up while she is SINGLE.
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Forget her and find someone who is available. You shouldn't have to work hard to get a GF. If you do, then it's not likely to happen.
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 BTW you can't force someone or make someone want you as their BF. This girl is only using you, because that is all she sees you as....some kind of escape or distraction, that's it. She doesn't have any emotional attachment. She doesn't have feelings equal to yours.
Author Quokka Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 BTW you can't force someone or make someone want you as their BF. This girl is only using you, because that is all she sees you as....some kind of escape or distraction, that's it. She doesn't have any emotional attachment. She doesn't have feelings equal to yours. This is more than likely true. I just hate to let it go because it's all I wanted for years.
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Many other opportunities have probably passed you by because you were to preoccupied with this girl. She is not or never will be a missed opportunity.
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 This is more than likely true. I just hate to let it go because it's all I wanted for years. You are obsessing.....fail.
Author Quokka Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 Many other opportunities have probably passed you by because you were to preoccupied with this girl. She is not or never will be a missed opportunity. I live in very small area like pop. 7,000. The selection of girls here is not easy. So when you find one that you like. That's pretty much it.
Toodaloo Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I live in very small area like pop. 7,000. The selection of girls here is not easy. So when you find one that you like. That's pretty much it. Open your eyes and look around you. There are gorgeous people all around if you just care to look... 1 out of 7000 many of whom you probably haven't met is not really a generous slice of the pie. Go do things you wouldn't normally do. But first get this girl out of your head as she is not good for you and is blinding you to others who would be.
kendahke Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 If she had a boyfriend, would you be laying up with her like you are? Does her girlfriend even know that you exist and are laying up with her? Is it because she's bi-sexual and involved with a woman that you've decided that she's not in a legitimate relationship and therefore free to be with you? No, she's not free to be with you. She's cheating with you. She's using you to cheat on her girlfriend. And don't be lazy with that weak sauce argument that there aren't a lot of girls where you live. Would you go get with someone's wife, too?
kendahke Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) Okay so I would agree w you here but I don't know if you missed the part where I said we only hook up while she is SINGLE. No, because in the very next sentence you make it clear that she's really not single: She gets these spurts where she doesn't want to be with her girlfriend and we'll usually spend time together when this happens. But she always goes back after each night we spend together and it really ****s me up. So I get over it only for it to always repeat itself. You hook up when she wants some dicque. She wants a relationship with her girlfriend. If that wasn't the case, she wouldn't return to her when you're done. She'd stay with you and work on a relationship with you. Edited July 21, 2015 by kendahke
Author Quokka Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 If she had a boyfriend, would you be laying up with her like you are? Yes I would because I believe if a man or woman is wanting to have sex with other people, obviously there current significant other is not meeting their needs. Does her girlfriend even know that you exist and are laying up with her? Yes she knows I exist. I don't know if she told her about the nights we've shared though. Is it because she's bi-sexual and involved with a woman that you've decided that she's not in a legitimate relationship and therefore free to be with you? No, and I kinda don't appreciate this question because I have nothing wrong with same sex relationships. See question one I answered for you on why I decided to do what I did No, she's not free to be with you. She's cheating with you. She's using you to cheat on her girlfriend. And don't be lazy with that weak sauce argument that there aren't a lot of girls where you live. Would you go get with someone's wife, too? No I would not get with someones wife because that's just whole new level of ****ed up. Anyway I hope I answered your questions. But the problem is, her girlfriend usually ends up talking to other girls while she is with her. So even her girlfriend is a cheater. She's only doing what she feels is necessary I suppose.
kendahke Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Yes I would because I believe if a man or woman is wanting to have sex with other people, obviously there current significant other is not meeting their needs. So, you won't be complaining when she does this to you. This isn't an issue of needs not being met. This is an issue of you interfering in an established relationship for selfish reasons. You certainly would have a problem with this being done to you. Do you feel that you should be exempt from this treatment? Yes she knows I exist. I don't know if she told her about the nights we've shared though. That's exactly what I mean: does she know her girlfriend is having sex with you? No, and I kinda don't appreciate this question because I have nothing wrong with same sex relationships. See question one I answered for you on why I decided to do what I did So you have something against established relationships when it's you who wants to be with someone who is already involved with someone else. You don't have to appreciate the question because lots of people don't appreciate messing with someone that is already in a relationship, be they boyfriend/girlfriend or married. No I would not get with someones wife because that's just whole new level of ****ed up.Anyway I hope I answered your questions. But the problem is, her girlfriend usually ends up talking to other girls while she is with her. So even her girlfriend is a cheater. She's only doing what she feels is necessary I suppose.That's neither here nor there. That is a dynamic that the two of them need to resolve. If they both agree that it's OK to go outside of their relationship for sex, and especially sex with the opposite sex, that's one thing. But you have not indicated anywhere that they have that kind of arrangement between them. Who her girlfriend chats up has nothing to do with this chick screwing you behind her girlfriend's back. She is just messy, messy, messy.
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