Elsea14 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Hello friends I'd really appreciate any honest words you can share for my current situation. After three months of NC (but a few sentimental picture texts from him) I accepted my ex boyfriends invitation to catch up. He had said that he wasn't a complicated guy: he wanted to see me because he wanted to see me. We had dated for over a year; he ended the relationship because he didn't see a future. I didn't reach out to him once in the following months. This weekend I met up with him and just spoke about life; nothing too heavy. He told me he was working a lot and wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his career etc... I have always thought that he was needing to find himself and it's good to see he's recognising that now. We didn't talk about our break up at all. I did ask why he felt the need to catch up seeing as I was happy for us to move forward on our own separate paths. He said to me that while I have a tendency to see things in black and white, he sees things in grey. Long story short we had a lovely night together with lots of eye contact and tenderness. The next day I asked him to remove my contact details from his phone so that we could both move on. He did it but I have the feeling it's not the last I've heard from him. What are your views on my scenario? I don't feel terrible or regretful about sleeping with him but I do feel as though he was feeling confused about our break up.
lovinDKT3 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Hello friends I'd really appreciate any honest words you can share for my current situation. After three months of NC (but a few sentimental picture texts from him) I accepted my ex boyfriends invitation to catch up. He had said that he wasn't a complicated guy: he wanted to see me because he wanted to see me. We had dated for over a year; he ended the relationship because he didn't see a future. I didn't reach out to him once in the following months. This weekend I met up with him and just spoke about life; nothing too heavy. He told me he was working a lot and wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his career etc... I have always thought that he was needing to find himself and it's good to see he's recognising that now. We didn't talk about our break up at all. I did ask why he felt the need to catch up seeing as I was happy for us to move forward on our own separate paths. He said to me that while I have a tendency to see things in black and white, he sees things in grey. Long story short we had a lovely night together with lots of eye contact and tenderness. The next day I asked him to remove my contact details from his phone so that we could both move on. He did it but I have the feeling it's not the last I've heard from him. What are your views on my scenario? I don't feel terrible or regretful about sleeping with him but I do feel as though he was feeling confused about our break up. Quick question, do you want for the two of you to move on or are you putting up walls for him to knock down to be with you? 2
Author Elsea14 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 I really do want to move on but I feel confused; not regretful just confused
Author Elsea14 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 I don't know about his; he didn't say anything. Mine are not to get back together at this time but I'm curious to see if he's changed and grown.
jen1447 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 There was sex? Hm, almost sounds like a booty call.
yxalitis Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 There was sex? Hm, almost sounds like a booty call. Yeah, I was confused, had to read it twice to work out when it happened. Sometime in between: " sees things in grey" and "lots of eye contact and tenderness" I guess...seems like you deleted an important paragraph.
Mrin Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I don't know about his; he didn't say anything. Mine are not to get back together at this time but I'm curious to see if he's changed and grown. Are you being honest with yourself? You asked him to delete all of your contact info. That's a curious thing for a person to do who says she is curious to see if he's changed and grown.
infiniteQuest Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 When he tells you he sees things in grey, believe him. It's because he truly doesn't know what he wants. He wants to get lost in his work, entertainment, whatever else, but doesn't have any clear plan for how to go about the future. What you know is that you weren't going to be part of his plan for the future. If you're ok being in a relationship like that, then you can continue hooking up with him, but I assume you want to see a future for the two of you and a clear progression for your relationship. Don't let him string you along because he randomly "just feels like seeing you". Him just feeling like seeing you, is literally as deep as his relationship towards you goes. 1
casey.lives Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Having a black and white vision has more dimension than the only grey thinker. If there is respect between these people .. it shouldn't be so hard to know that possessing two dimensions is far more superior than one alone, and maybe with proven trust .. you can together have three colours.. black, white and grey... but lay of the sex and i'm not sure how you can point this out but.. i, personally, get the feeling he wants out so..
No Limit Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Pure booty call, it doesn't mean anything but sex. It's always easier to hook up with an ex than try to make contact to new girls you don't know. The contact won't stop until you reject sex a couple of times in the future. 1
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