mongo Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 met this girl for a coffee date. we had a good conversation, made her laugh, she seemed into me. asked her out for a date next week, she said yes. now there is no response to my texts and calls. my god im hopeless.
S_A Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 You asked her out on a date during your first date? She maybe did not have the guts to tell you no in person. Or maybe she was dating multiple guys and after her date with you she went on a date with another guy that she felt she clicked better with. In any case, the "why" behind why she isn't responding will probably never be determined.
Author mongo Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 You asked her out on a date during your first date? She maybe did not have the guts to tell you no in person. Or maybe she was dating multiple guys and after her date with you she went on a date with another guy that she felt she clicked better with. In any case, the "why" behind why she isn't responding will probably never be determined. i asked her out for a real date AFTER coffee date was over. im not an idiot. whats so hard about being honest and saying no. id rather be told to **** off than put up with the trifling.
S_A Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 People don't like being the bearer of bad news. Could have been worse. Like you could have been attacked by a shark while surfing in South Africa. Yeah man. It can happen. Google that s**t. 3
S_A Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 It was just one date man, not a relationship. Besides, offing yourself will just ensure you never find the girl you're looking for. 2
IronZ Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 OP this happens to me on a weekly basis. I keep wasting my time energy and money on girls that play games. Honestly don't get so hung up about it. This is how it is with online dating. Sooner or later you'll find someone. Maybe you need to lower your expectations a little bit. I know that's something I have to work on. You can't go into every coffee date expecting miracles to happen. If anything just see it as you enjoying a nice cup of coffee with some good company. That way it doesn't sting as much.
deathandtaxes Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 im going to off myself soon What's up with the histrionics? Wait a day or two. then call or text to confirm the date. if no response, then let go. then go find another. You got this date. You can do it again. 1
Curious-One Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) OK first of all STOP STOP STOP with coffee dates please... Here is why OP.... If you take her to a coffee date and I take her Jet Skiing Who do you think she is going to have more fun with ? I learned this the hard way Coffee Dates/Dinner Dates/ and OMGGGG Movies are the worst 1st dates ever. You have two people meeting for the first time and having that (most likely) awkward nervous conversation. How much fun can you really have drinking coffee while meeting them for first time. There is that pressure on both parties to keep the convo going and make it fun which is typically hard to do while you are nervous/on edge. I suggest taking your dates bowling, playing pool, playing frisbee, bike riding, even walking in the park is more fun then just sitting down and blobbing around. These fun action dates will give you a chance to playfully tease her joke with her make silly bets while also getting to know her. The few dinner/coffee/and movie 1st dates i went on went TERRIBLE mostly because i was bored by the girl (being nervous) and lost all attraction. When you are the one carrying convo and making jokes and girl is laughing nervously and her conversation skills suck (mostly cuse shes nervous) the date is not going to go well or be fun. Also if you are seriously considering suicide because few dates failed then you have much bigger issues then dating. Edited July 21, 2015 by Curious-One 3
joseb Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 OK first of all STOP STOP STOP with coffee dates please... I learned this the hard way Coffee Dates/Dinner Dates/ and OMGGGG Movies are the worst 1st dates ever. What about first OLD meetups though? Would you invest time/money in a day jetskiing with someone who is pretty much a blind date? That's the one case I see value in a coffee date (though I'd probably do a quick after work dinner, bit more relaxing) Otherwise, yeah early dates should be fun! 2
joseb Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 What about first OLD meetups though? Would you invest time/money in a day jetskiing with someone who is pretty much a blind date? That's the one case I see value in a coffee date (though I'd probably do a quick after work dinner, bit more relaxing) Otherwise, yeah early dates should be fun! Meant quick after work drink.
Walters Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I don’t believe you can “blow it” with anybody on a first or so date. You meet up, talk about each other to see if you fit and go from there. I am unsure why everybody treats this as a game where you have to pretend so you can win. Then what? You hide who you really are until its 6 months or a year and your true self comes out and the other person feels lied to? If everybody was just true to themselves we have a lot less problems further down the line.
oberkeat Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 You asked her out on a date during your first date? She maybe did not have the guts to tell you no in person. Or maybe she was dating multiple guys and after her date with you she went on a date with another guy that she felt she clicked better with. In any case, the "why" behind why she isn't responding will probably never be determined. That's probably what happened. Women have unlimited options online because the male to female ratio is so high on those dating sites. So a lot of them just play the numbers.
IronZ Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 What about first OLD meetups though? Would you invest time/money in a day jetskiing with someone who is pretty much a blind date? That's the one case I see value in a coffee date (though I'd probably do a quick after work dinner, bit more relaxing) Otherwise, yeah early dates should be fun! Yeah I agree with this. I only invest in something grand if I think I'm really hitting it off with the person and it looks promising prior to the date, and even then I've been burned a lot before. Some of us don't want to go jetskiing (seriously..?) on a first date with a complete stranger. If I was a playboy billionaire and dating supermodels then sure, why the hell not. But I'm just a regular guy looking for love. I'm not going to overspend just to impress someone. If they can't handle my personality in a quiet everyday situation, then it's not worth it. If you set these superhigh standards early on they will expect you to always top that and go bigger. There's no fun in that. 1
Curious-One Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 What about first OLD meetups though? Would you invest time/money in a day jetskiing with someone who is pretty much a blind date? That's the one case I see value in a coffee date (though I'd probably do a quick after work dinner, bit more relaxing) Otherwise, yeah early dates should be fun! Well i mentioned jetsking but i also mentioned taking your dates bowling, playing pool, playing frisbee, bike riding, even walking in the park is more fun then just sitting down and blobbing around.. It all depends on your financial situation... I am in a position where i wouldnt mind spending money to go jetsking on a firstdate because i know no matter what i will have fun and you cant possibly waste money if you are having fun. If you are broke then go with playing frisbee, bike riding, walking in the park examples. There is action dates you can do without spending a bunch of money.
Anderlie Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I must say my husband and I found a frisbee in a box somewhere and took it to the park on a whim, it was an absolute blast. we spent the whole time playing around and laughing and it didn't cost a cent. As a first date something like this would definitely get you creativity points and you have the activity itself to talk about if you're running short on conversation. It's a great idea.
joseb Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Well i mentioned jetsking but i also mentioned taking your dates bowling, playing pool, playing frisbee, bike riding, even walking in the park is more fun then just sitting down and blobbing around.. It all depends on your financial situation... I am in a position where i wouldnt mind spending money to go jetsking on a firstdate because i know no matter what i will have fun and you cant possibly waste money if you are having fun. If you are broke then go with playing frisbee, bike riding, walking in the park examples. There is action dates you can do without spending a bunch of money. Have you found Online Dates ok with these as first meets? Or do you date more IRL - i.e. girls you already have at least seen?
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