Brigit_1 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 It would be great if any person without proper education would stop saying this. A professional hesitates to make this diagnosis. As far as this thread, I have don't believe a single word. It is contrived and attention seeking. All of it. I don't understand?
neowulf Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Sorry to hear about the breakup Leigh. That said, I think people in thread are being very quick to demonize the guy. Sometimes relationships just don't "fit". There isn't always a rational reason. Sometimes, just deep down in your gut, for whatever reason, you don't feel right about it. It doesn't have to personal, or mean. It doesn't have to relate to any "lack" of something in Leigh. It's like a key and lock. No one blames the lock, just because the key happens to be the wrong fit for it. Breakups suck and I'm sorry for your pain OP. You're an attractive woman though, who never wants for attention. When you're ready, they'll be another guy waiting for you. Till then, chin up 2
Brigit_1 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 For real or funny? For real. I think the OP is struggling with a breakup. I don't think she's looking for attention for attentions sake...if that's what you're saying.
Timshel Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 For real. I think the OP is struggling with a breakup. I don't think she's looking for attention for attentions sake...if that's what you're saying. I am saying that. Someone needs to say it. I'll be the fall person. OP needs professional assistance. So i will get a hit for this. So what. Leigh, I know that you make things up. You are loved..... and look, I'm about to be blasted for you. 3
katiegrl Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I am saying that. Someone needs to say it. I'll be the fall person. OP needs professional assistance. So i will get a hit for this. So what. Leigh, I know that you make things up. You are loved..... and look, I'm about to be blasted for you. I was not aware of this. I DO feel she seeks attention especially regarding her looks....but not aware she makes things up. I presume you have proof, so I won't debate with you about this, however I WILL admit her response for just having been dumped by a man she appeared to be totally 100% into is rather strange. A little too understanding, cool, calm and collected....but I still would not go so far as to say the whole story is made up. But who knows, you may be right. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 I am saying that. Someone needs to say it. I'll be the fall person. OP needs professional assistance. So i will get a hit for this. So what. Leigh, I know that you make things up. You are loved..... and look, I'm about to be blasted for you. Um. What exactly am I making up ? I even posted his picture. Because I was worried about being too much of an ugly duckling when compared to him...
katiegrl Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Um. What exactly am I making up ? I even posted his picture. Because I was worried about being too much of an ugly duckling when compared to him... Well, and let's be honest. You were also seeking validation regarding your looks in general (and how attractive you are), as you do quite often on this forum. Not sure why...as you must know you are quite attractive, even beautiful (to me and to others).
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 I was not aware of this. I DO feel she seeks attention especially regarding her looks....but not aware she makes things up. I presume you have proof, so I won't debate with you about this, however I WILL admit her response for just having been dumped by a man she appeared to be totally 100% into is rather strange. A little too understanding, cool, calm and collected....but I still would not go so far as to say the whole story is made up. But who knows, you may be right. I seek too much validation regarding my looks yes. I was very upset over this guy. We both sshed a tear. We had grown very fond of one another. And we has the whole intense beginning where we both became flushed and visibly flustered when we first met. He was excited. I was excited. So it always sucks when one of those really great beginning fails shortly after. I just won't loose my ****te over a man I just dated for 3 weeks. He was, however, miles better than all the other men I've dated.
katiegrl Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I seek too much validation regarding my looks yes. I was very upset over this guy. We both sshed a tear. We had grown very fond of one another. And we has the whole intense beginning where we both became flushed and visibly flustered when we first met. He was excited. I was excited. So it always sucks when one of those really great beginning fails shortly after. I just won't loose my ****te over a man I just dated for 3 weeks. He was, however, miles better than all the other men I've dated. Okay, I for one believe you and have always believed you were telling the truth....NEVER for one second questioned that, and I am super perceptive about such things. I just wish you could feel more secure about your looks, tis all. But I am glad to hear you are moving on....you are beautiful and deserve a man who is 100% crazy about you...in every way, shape and form.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 Okay, I for one believe you and have always believed you were telling the truth....NEVER for one second questioned that, and I am super perceptive about such things. I just wish you could feel more secure about your looks, tis all. But I am glad to hear you are moving on....you are beautiful and deserve a man who is 100% crazy about you...in every way, shape and form. The whole premise to this thread was that I hhave only ever dated losers and jerks. This man was the first guy that I've ever dated that was a catch ! As in kind , we had amazing chemistry, he had an admirable work ethic. ..... I honestly feel that a girl like me cannot GET a decent guy. I was so shocked this guy picked me.
katiegrl Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 The whole premise to this thread was that I hhave only ever dated losers and jerks. This man was the first guy that I've ever dated that was a catch ! As in kind , we had amazing chemistry, he had an admirable work ethic. ..... I honestly feel that a girl like me cannot GET a decent guy. I was so shocked this guy picked me. Seek therapy for your low self-esteem and insecurity Leigh. Both those things are crippling you and your ability to connect with a good man who adores you. You deserve that. PLEASE for your own sake get some professional help, and if you are currently in therapy, get a new therapist cuz the one you have now SUCKS. Good luck hon. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) This is the only decent guy that I've ever dated. The other decent men that have liked me, I was totally lukewarm about. No chemistry. It is an absolute miracle that I felt mutually hot and bothered about a guy who was not totally retarded. For a change. You should see how awful my exes were.... I am not going to find a guy with a good job and a lovely personality and a kind heart, who I feel mutual chemistry with AND who actually wants to date me. I am going to have to settle. Such as dating men with amazing chemistry who are jerks. Or dating amazing men who I am not excited about I have decided that I have given up on dating and I am just gunna have short term flings with the men I am passionate about and into, as opposed to settling down with the one man who may adore me he who I am not crazy excited about:( I guess we all have to pick. Settle for mediocre chemistry and non butterflies. Or have short term amazing sex with men who aren't that into us. Edited July 23, 2015 by Leigh 87
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) Seek therapy for your low self-esteem and insecurity Leigh. Both those things are crippling you and your ability to connect with a good man who adores you. You deserve that. PLEASE for your own sake get some professional help, and if you are currently in therapy, get a new therapist cuz the one you have now SUCKS. Good luck hon. I have gotten good men. I just didn't get all hot and bbothered by them. The chemistry wasn't intense. I didn't feel like making out with them. I just haven't had one of the men who I felt sparks and chemistry with to want to date me. When they have it was very very short lived. And they weren't the best guys. It was like hitting the jackpot with the last guy. .... it is not something I am ever going to encounter again. I just have to figure out what it is that I am willing to compromise on. I would still be really delighted with a guy that I was crazy about that may have a low income for instance or perhaps no job. Wait...scrap that idea. Then again. ...If rather be abstinent than force myself to kiss a guy that I don't have wild attraction for I am definitely not going to land anothe cute guy with a good job and a great personality and a kind heart. That I also have chemistry with. That's a given ! Maybe I can hope to feel all giddy with excitement over a guy who may be a less nice guy but still isn't a total jerk? Perhaps women like me who can't be satisfied with out the butterflies and crazy in love feelings are best to stay single and enjoy short flings. Although my friend who is happily 2 years in with a guy she had the fireworks and sparks with, is going to get married in a year or so I presume. He treats her like a princess. .... Edited July 23, 2015 by Leigh 87
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 Why did he have to end it with you, though? Because he is hot and desirable and he isn't the type who needs to settle with a girl simply because he has some feelings present. He definitely had feelings for me but they just weren't strong enough for a relationship. Less desirable men who don't need to be smitten or head over heels for a girl would have very well kept going with me. Since this guy said and showed in his actions that he without a doubt, had SOME degree of romantic feelings for me. This guy is exactly like me in his reasoning. I also need to be super into a guy. Or else I don't date. I need to be excited when he texts. His texts need to be the number one texts I wish to receive. Getting their texts needs to be a real buzz. I also don't do indifference with dating. A nice guy who is an amazing person who I am not hot under the collar for. This guy was a step up from indifference. He felt good chemistry at least. He was initially excited by my texts. He just changed is mind. This means that behind the initial chemistry buzz when he was flushed, got en erection upon first hugging and seeing me and he definitely all excited and high at the prospect of first dating me.... but that's ALL it was. Chemistry. He obviously didn't go on to develop strong enough feelings beyond the chemistry. So he did the right thing and ended it.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 One of my exes lacked the smitten feeling. But he bonded with me. He wasn't a robot.. He reluctantly willed himself to continue on seeing me because he liked our close bond. He wasn't in love. He was never excited to receive my texts. I wasn't a girl he felt lucky to have landed. I didn't turn him on much. I wish he'd just have ended things at the start. When a guy isn't enamored with you, lacks intense sexual desire and just isn't really excited about dating you, it's NOT fun to date him. Thank gosh I didn't have to stick around and feel for myself this latest guys waning desire for me. I would rather a guy acknowledge that he isn't crazy about me and end it rather than drag it on for convenience like my ex did for over two years.
Eighty_nine Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Leigh, tell us about you. unless you can provide some kind of proof that she's making stuff up, you just sound like a dick
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