talltower Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) Hey, I really need some help on the below. Sorry for the length! So I connected with this girl on a dating site (we have a few mutual friends). We messaged for a while and went out for drinks. We were together for almost 3 hours, and the date went pretty well--it wasn't amazing or anything, but I've been on a bunch, and this one was good. I texted her the next day saying that I'd like to do it again, and she agreed but said she'd be out of town for a week. She mentioned when she'd be back, though. After she returned, I texted her, and she mentioned "yes, what do you want to do?" Afterwards, she dropped off for a bit (I've noticed sometime she just doesn't respond--this happened before we went out too). I texted her back, and we went back and forth. She even suggested a few pretty romantic ideas for date #2, so I know she was open to it. I messaged her again the following day, and she didn't respond at all. She seemed interested b/c if she didn't want to go out at all, she wouldn't have suggested romantic date spots, etc., I think... She was in my city for a few months for an internship, and this last message was sent when she had two weeks left before she went back home (8hrs away by car). So, it's very possible it just didn't make sense for her as she thought there wasn't long-term potential (and she isn't a short-term person). All this happened 3 months ago. I was in her hometown this past week, so I messaged her asking if she would be free. We ended up having coffee instead of dinner. It was pretty clear she was treating this like going out with a friend, not so much a date (was pretty casual). We were there for 2+ hours, and we had a really good time. She was laughing a lot, we made some fun of each other, etc. If this were a date, it would've been the best I've ever had. At the end of it, I asked her if she'd be willing to go to the park this weekend with me. She definitely was a bit taken aback, and she mentioned she might be able to do it and to text her to figure out the details. We hugged, and she left. I texted her the next day, and after a few hrs, she responded saying she's "busy this weekend," i.e. a "no." I said I was sorry if I came across the wrong way, and she said it's no problem and to let her know if I'm town again. We left it on good terms, in that regard. Also, I realized I forgot to mention a few things. I live in LA, she lives in Sacramento, and she still has 1 yr of college left in New York (and she'd be going back to school in NYC in 5-6 weeks). She was in LA for a internship thing when I first met her earlier this year, but when I met her, she was only going to be there for 5ish more weeks. So, do you think she just viewed this meeting this past week as a "friend" encounter, b/c she just doesn't want to get into something long term now, esp. given location issues? When I went out with her when she was in LA, she only had a couple weeks remaining there too, and she definitely wanted to go out again. I've had girls pass, and this wasn't a pass--she suggested places for second dates (incl. pretty romantic ones), etc., though she dropped off in the end, right when she had 2 weeks left. She could have easily said she's busy and asked for a "rain check" and given me the message. I know her internship in LA kept her super busy (she told me this over coffee this time), and obviously she was only in town for 2 more weeks and would never be back. Do you think this just didn't work out in LA when she was here b/c she was busy with her internship but more importantly sort of liked me but at the same time didn't want to commit to something long term with a guy who's in a city she'll never return to? And when I pinged her again after 3 months and visiting for a weekend, she just assumed it was as a friend b/c of the location issues? And, after she graduates next year, she'll be back home in Sacramento. Do you think there's potential there? I know we really got along this time, and she mentioned over text too, that it was "so nice" to see me again. She mentioned she wants to stay in touch and added me on FB. I know she definitely enjoyed this 2+hr coffee, and I know she had to have mulled over the whole thing when she was in LA, because she was very back and forth. Making something work LA to Sac is not bad (compared to NYC), and in a year, I think she might also be looking for something long term as she'll be out of the college mindset. For your reference, I graduated this year from school, so I am a year older. Why do you think it didn't work out? Do you think it was just the location? And given we're on pretty good terms (over text) now, do you think I can make this happen when she's back from school? Of course, I get that I should move on, and I will,but I really like this girl, and I just want to get your honest opinion on this. Thanks. Please indulge me. Edited July 19, 2015 by talltower
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