sunglasses Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Sigh.... It's been a little more than a month since I got dumped, ending a long-term relationship of several years. I wouldn't say I'm close to getting over her, at all. If the opportunity arose, I would want to get back together in a heartbeat. I've been trying to move on. Some friends have recommended that I start to see other people, so I started to see this girl. But, I feel guilty. I still feel bad about giving up on my past relationship. I know that sounds irrational because it's over, but when I'm with someone else it almost feels like I'm cheating. I also feel guilty about the girl I'm with, because I don't know how ready I am to start something serious. A significant part of the reason I've been dating her is because I feel so alone. She's nice, and we get along fine, but I'm not sure I would date her outside current circumstances. Anyways, how do I deal with the guilt and feelings of loneliness?
Honey565 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Do not rush into new relationship. Obviously you are not ready for something new. Take your time and don't hurt yourself even more. You will end up hurting the other girl as well. You must learn to be alone and on your own. You will see that its not the end of the world. 3
Ariess10 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Totally normal , I felt that way also. But then I saw my ex on a dating site so now I hang out with girls with no problem.. Took me seeing that to "give me permission " sorta speaking 1
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I was in a relationship with a girl for a year. We broke up. 3 months later I had casual sex. It felt weird, I felt guilty. What you're feeling is normal. It'll pass, trust me.
15Love Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Don't forget that the people we "spend time with" to try to move on could get hurt by us using them to heal. Maybe the person you hook up with is looking for more or really thinks it's special. Date when you're ready...not a moment before We gotta remember to learn from what we're going through...to become better people...otherwise it's all for nothing! 3
LeslieKnope Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I'm with 15love. As someone who just came out of what turned out to be a rebound relationship with someone who had yet to heal from the trauma of a previous 6 yr relationship, it can be pretty damn awful to the new person. Unless you've already established with the new girl that you are not ready for a relationship and they're comfortable with that you shouldn't be dating them. It drags them unnecessarily into your own emotional upheaval and it's (unintentionally) selfish. Be kind to yourself - date when you're ready. But please also be kind to this new girl and end it immediately. You're the good guy here and good guys don't treat nice girls as emotional crutches. 3
aloneinaz Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I also agree that you should date when you're ready. It's a good sign that you're able to get out and date at all so soon. I certainly wouldn't jump into a committed relationship at all. Also, understand that EVERYONE over 21 that is dating is at some stage of "getting over" their last relationship. Some are further down the road than others in their healing. You need to have your radar on and you will quickly pick up on this when you start seeing someone more than a few times. Most people are also honest when you have that first date and ask how long it's been since their last relationship ended. Again, I applaud you for getting back on the horse BUT.. you need to be comfortable and happy being by yourself too. You don't want to be that co-dependent person who can't find happiness in his own skin. 2
Recommended Posts