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Why can't some people admit that looks matter and are objective?

Idontalways

By Idontalways
in General Relationship Discussion

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xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
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Handsome makes it a lot easier to get to sexy territory..some of us are too far away from there physically to ever get to sexy lol

 

Sexy is as sexy does. Some homely men are devastatingly sexy.

  • Like 1
Renton Member

Renton

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He's handsome. Handsome doesn't equal sexy. Sexy is largely about behavior.

 

I don't find Chris Hemsworth attractive. I can see that he is a good looking guy, but I personally just don't have any attraction towards him. Not my type at all. And fwiw, I feel the same about Brad Pitt.

 

I was taking the p***.

 

I dated a girl years ago and when given the choice of Brad Pitt or Jean Claude Van Damme it was the Muscles From Brussels every time.

 

Would have thought it would have been a no brainer :eek:

 

We are talking 20 years ago (40 now) though :D

 

Not sure she would make the same choice today, given their current looks :)

AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

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Sexy is as sexy does. Some homely men are devastatingly sexy.

 

Lol.......

Brigit_1 Established Member

Brigit_1

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Not sure many women would tell Chris Hemsworth to "jog on" :D

 

Nope. I would definitively not tell him to "jog on," and I really have a thing for dark hair.

 

Also: Hunter Parrish is sooooooo handsome. Fell in love with him when he was in Weeds.

Brigit_1 Established Member

Brigit_1

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Sexy is as sexy does. Some homely men are devastatingly sexy.

 

I've never found that to be true. I'm a sucker for a baby face and swimmers body. My eye loves beauty...and my body agrees. :)

WasOtherWoman Established Member

WasOtherWoman

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Well, they do matter because if they didn't then I would be getting the same attention and girls that my friend has been, right?

It's not like i am saying that i am a virgin and nobody wants me, which is not true. All I am saying is that my friend has a hell of a lot easier time to get girls because he as a better looking face.

 

Yes, of course looks matter. And, I would say that there are far more women who find Brad Pitt attractive than those who do not.

 

Even if Brad Pitt does not actually appeal specifically to someone, most would admit that he is attractive, even if not "their type".

 

I believe that good looking people have more advantages in life, in my humble opinion.

 

I have been blessed with better than average looks, this has helped me greatly in my career, I can't pretend it has not. While I still have to rely on my brains to be successful, looks have opened many doors.

 

Attracting the men that I was interested in was also fairly easy.

 

I don't know why people would actually disagree with your statement??

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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I've never found that to be true. I'm a sucker for a baby face and swimmers body. My eye loves beauty...and my body agrees. :)

 

Show off. ;)

 

I'm in camp subjective btw.

  • Like 1
No Limit Established Member

No Limit

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Looks do matter - but everyone has a different taste. Sure, the majority follows a certain pattern regarding looks because they're heavily influenced by the media, but next to that big brainless mass of people there's also a lot of people who just do their own thing and look for something non-mainstream.

Brigit_1 Established Member

Brigit_1

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Show off. ;)

 

I'm in camp subjective btw.

 

LOL!

 

I've never though of being sexually responsive as showing off. Learn something new everyday. :)

  • Like 1
AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

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I've never found that to be true. I'm a sucker for a baby face and swimmers body. My eye loves beauty...and my body agrees. :)

 

Thank you for being honest..not that xxoo isn't but most women think more like you then her

S_A Established Member

S_A

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I think a lot of women prefer their men to have darker hair, but I think "different" and "novelty" can play a huge role in a person's mind with regard to what the find attractive.

 

My GF has always lived blonde haired guys with blue eyes. When she moved to SoCal she was thinking she'd easily end up with a guy of that mold. She did indeed date some blonde/blue guys, but in the end she ended up with me and I don't have blonde hair or blue eyes. Guess I did something right :cool:

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xxoo Established Member

xxoo

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Thank you for being honest..not that xxoo isn't but most women think more like you then her

 

The article i linked suggests that most people are like me.

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Male Established Member

Male

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and please be confident & work on that. nothing sexier than a confident man, strong man... man who is SURE of himself, who KNOWS himself

 

Thats a great answer, and its the typical answer/advice that many women give when the topic comes up, but theres a huge difference between sitting here and giving a politically correct educated answer vs how women truly act in said situation, out in the real world.

 

Majority of women give bonus points to guys they find attractive, whether the guy deserves them or not. They "perceive" that the guy is confident, simply because they like how he looks, talks, or walks. An unattractive guy could have 10x more confidence, but most women would never know because they would never give him a chance to prove it.

 

This isnt just women that fall for attractiveness. Businesses make the same mistake as well. In our society, its also assumed that tall= smarter, more charming, and better for business

 

Taller People Earn More Money

 

 

 

 

Another false representation of how looks matter is called the Halo Effect.

 

What Is the Halo Effect?

 

Also known as the physical attractiveness stereotype and the "what is beautiful is good" principle, the halo effect, at the most specific level, refers to the habitual tendency of people to rate attractive individuals more favorably for their personality traits or characteristics than those who are less attractive.

 

 

Thats exactly why the OP's good looking Brad Pitt type friend AUTOMATICALLY gets attention from women without lifting a finger. Because its human nature for women to just ASSUME he's confident, strong, and more of a man just because they like how he looks.

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PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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People go for the best looking people they can get whitin their level of attractiveness that's why most couples are pretty evenly matched

 

The fact that most people aren't with very good looking people isn't because looks are subjective or physical attraction isn't a big deal it's because most people aren't attractive enough to get very good looking people their extremely physically attracted to.

PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

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Looks matter just as much as the rest, no more but no less, to me anyway.

 

 

Haven't stopped to consider the objective to subjective ratio, largely because other ppl's tastes don't affect me at all, and because I just like what I like :).

  • Like 1
dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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You know, I really don't like it when someone tells me how I should think or tells me that what I say I think is incorrect.

 

I'm not a fan of blonde men either. And, for me, looks ARE subjective. If you look at the people I have dated since my dating career started, they are all over the map looks-wise.

 

Honestly, this sounds like yet another "there's nothing I can do about it and it's not my fault I can't date dates with the narrow type of woman I want" theme.

 

Subjective. Totally.

 

 

My best friend is totally loves muscular black guys.

 

 

I love blonde guys who are kinda chubby. I also like blue and green eyes.

 

 

I have dated brown-eyed guys and dark skinned guys before. Just not into them as much. I dated a guy that was about a foot shorter than me. I couldn't do it. I felt bad. But that's life.

 

 

I don't actually like guys that tower over me either. It feels kind of freakish because I am 5'8" so not many guys tower far, far above me.

 

 

My husband is 5'9". I don't seem to like anything above 6'2".

 

 

My husband and I can look directly at each other when we are standing up. I like that a lot.

 

 

For all of the pain in the arse he is, physically I like the way that he complements me.

 

 

Other women don't seem to be falling all over him. I guess that means that looks are subjective.

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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What about Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård)?

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Northman

 

I tend to only be attracted to men with dark hair and dark eyes IRL but I'd make an exception for Mr. Northman.

 

Weird. I found that picture to be too "done up."

 

 

I don't like it when guys look like they just spent 6 hours on their appearance. it just seems kind of "feminine" to me. Too high-maintenance.

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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Or maybe these girls just find his personality more attractive.

 

 

If you have enough going for you besides looks, then looks won't be a handicap.

 

I find that I won't even notice a guy is attractive or not until he says something that clicks with me. Then I notice his appearance.

 

 

Otherwise he's just another person in a canvas of people.

 

 

Some instances of attraction I have had over the years:

 

 

One guy saying that he was "a workaholic" during a workaholic phase of my own. Then I felt the surge and noticed he was quite handsome to boot.

 

 

One guy talking about marriage and wanting to be a good husband. Ding. Ding. He wasn't conventionally attractive. I still noticed his kind face and felt the attraction. We were together 3 years and almost got married. He welched. LOL

 

 

The best one: my husband made me laugh in the middle of a deep depression where I hadn't laughed in weeks. I still wasn't going to date him at that point. But I did notice his attractiveness. Nice blue eyes. My daughter has those eyes. :love:

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
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Personality has a huge influence on looks.

I once knew a pair of identical twins, one was very friendly, smiley and chatty, her sister was quiet, pretty glum and serious.

 

The friendly, "alive" one was the most attractive, no question.

regine_phalange Established Member

regine_phalange

Posted
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There are some people who are easily liked by the opposite sex. It may be because they have big boobs, great hair, fun personality, great body language, happy looking resting face. That's how it is. But then there will be people with "mysterious" taste who will prefer you (and I) who have a plain exterior and vibe.

regine_phalange Established Member

regine_phalange

Posted
Posted

Oh, and speaking about celebrities.

When I watched Twilight I fancied Bella's dad a lot more than Edward and the werewolf :p

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted
Yes, of course looks matter. And, I would say that there are far more women who find Brad Pitt attractive than those who do not.

 

Even if Brad Pitt does not actually appeal specifically to someone, most would admit that he is attractive, even if not "their type".

 

I believe that good looking people have more advantages in life, in my humble opinion.

 

I have been blessed with better than average looks, this has helped me greatly in my career, I can't pretend it has not. While I still have to rely on my brains to be successful, looks have opened many doors.

 

Attracting the men that I was interested in was also fairly easy.

 

I don't know why people would actually disagree with your statement??

I think its cool that you admit to the advantages in both career & love life. Quite a few people don't, because they prefer that they don't get seen as if they were blessed with advantage at birth, as it comes of as more meritable if they did better in life through diligence and skills and hard work.

 

For me its an open & shut case, but many will argue otherwise because say they think Colin Farrell is hot but Ryan Gosling doesn't appeal to them, and their friend thinks Ashton Kutcher is hot and they don't. At the macro level looks and quite objective (celebrities vs the avg man in the street). At the micro level they are more subjective (who is desirable in a room full of celebrities or a room full of average joes). I thunk men are more open to admitting this as I guess they are more proactive in dating so rack up the knock backs which they will tend to find are co-related to women's beauty. I think also guys are just more up-front and fear much less being judged as shallow/looks focused. Of course how desirable you are seen by the opposite sex determines your options and plays a big part in your choices. Just because someone chooses person x to be their gf/bf does not mean we have diverse tastes and that they don't secretly wished they were with person z or y.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Posted

To avoid being seen as superficial

GravityMan Established Member

GravityMan

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How you carry yourself >>>>>> Your looks. Simple as that.

 

Elaine567's identical twins anecdote is a pretty good example.

 

Looks arent that subjective..my good looking friend has never been rejected by a women my ugly ass has never been accepted by one..

 

Mmmhmm. I'm pretty sure that your negative attitude isn't helping, either.

  • Like 1
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Idontalways New Member

Idontalways

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Subjective. Totally.

 

 

My best friend is totally loves muscular black guys.

 

 

I love blonde guys who are kinda chubby. I also like blue and green eyes.

 

 

I have dated brown-eyed guys and dark skinned guys before. Just not into them as much. I dated a guy that was about a foot shorter than me. I couldn't do it. I felt bad. But that's life.

 

 

I don't actually like guys that tower over me either. It feels kind of freakish because I am 5'8" so not many guys tower far, far above me.

 

 

My husband is 5'9". I don't seem to like anything above 6'2".

 

 

My husband and I can look directly at each other when we are standing up. I like that a lot.

 

 

For all of the pain in the arse he is, physically I like the way that he complements me.

 

 

Other women don't seem to be falling all over him. I guess that means that looks are subjective.

 

 

 

Once again, why do you bring up height and eye/hair colour?

 

It is irrelevant because none of them matter. Height doesn't matter unless you are a dwarf.

 

We are talking strictly about the structure of your face. Looks pertains to the face. When chicks tells each other "omg, he is so hot", they don't mean their hair colour or height, it's how their face looks.

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