unspokenlove Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Broke up in the last week of October. We dated for well over a year and were extremely close, both in college but known each other for a very long time. Since than it's been the hardest time for me in my life so far, I lost my best friend and someone I really loved. She has been nothing but hateful since than, telling others I'm a stalker, obsessed with her and much more. I know for a fact she does this for attention, and is acting completely immature and so she tells anyone who will listen. All the while I'm just watching her do this wondering why the girl I spent all that time with as friends and in a relationship would do this. But now months later, still NC and will stay that way but I'm getting dozens of anon asks to my tumblr account about her, calling me obsessed and that I always post about her. (I run a somewhat popular poetry blog, and tbh not all of them are about anyone in particular) I had this problem months ago so I installed a tracker onto my blog. Every time someone opens my blog directly on their computer with my url, it tells me the city/state/country and time, I was just curious who was sending me hate mail. Right now I know its her. I'm ignoring them now, but I don't understand why shes messaging me now again after all the time.
Gus Grimly Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Do you know any of her friends or family? Perhaps you could reach out, voice your concerns to them. Try to find out what she's dealing with, tell them you are worried about her emotional well being. See what their take is. Only do this if you feel comfortable, otherwise don't. Just keep blocking/ignoring her as best as you can. It's a proven method to help you disappear from her life.
Satu Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Block her from everything. *No direct contact in either direction. *No sending or receiving of messages. *No replies. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. 1
Author unspokenlove Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 Do you know any of her friends or family? Perhaps you could reach out, voice your concerns to them. Try to find out what she's dealing with, tell them you are worried about her emotional well being. See what their take is. Only do this if you feel comfortable, otherwise don't. Just keep blocking/ignoring her as best as you can. It's a proven method to help you disappear from her life. One of my good friends, who has never liked my ex and has really helped me through this entire thing is very very close friends with one of my ex's closest friends. My friend has never told anyone about what we talk about this I'm sure of. But from what I've been told coming from my ex's closest friend, she's perfectly happy and dating a guy right now. Yet she is messaging me calling me obsessed, and that its obsession that I'm still healing a bit from our long relationship as friends and more than that that ended 8-9 months ago. Shes also visiting my blog probably close to 5 times a day. Yet I'm the one being called obsessive and stalking?
Gus Grimly Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 One of my good friends, who has never liked my ex and has really helped me through this entire thing is very very close friends with one of my ex's closest friends...... "Perfectly happy"? I doubt it. It sounds like she suffers from a few issues; low self worth, anger, OCD, possible Manic Depressive. I'm not a doctor but it seems like she should seek medical attention. There's nothing much you can do beyond blocking her by every means possible, well, other than a restraining order. Stay strong, don't let her erratic behavior disrupt your healing and growth.
54JA Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I am not a writer of any sort, but I am assuming that writers (or any other artists) who make their work public do so with the understanding that there will be haters and that their work will be open to analyses, evaluation, criticism, etc. by the public. I am also assuming that writers know that the audience assume they draw their inspiration from their real life sometimes. So, it shouldn't be a surprise to learn that your silly little ex thought your poems were about her. I think this comes with the territory of being a writer. In the meanwhile, you can try to figure out a way to block her/report her to the administrator, and include a little fiction disclaimer (person depicted in this ___ are purely fictional, etc).
Qboro90 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I think that you need to stop including any poetry or writing in your blogs that could be misconstrued to be about her. At least for the time being. Im sure you can blog about other things. If the posts you publicize can be looked at as if your ex was the inspiration for it then it's understandable how she/others can think you're obsessed. If you aren't posting anything like that then perhaps you could screenshot the information about her 5 daily visits to your webpage and then post that on your blog with the caption "Stalk much? #leavemealone". Be cautious tho as if she's a dramatic girl you don't wanna get into a social media war. Best advice would be to block her on every social media account and blog about things which cannot be even loosely affiliated with her.
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