dianac Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Hello,my name is Diana.I'm 37.I've been married for nearly 15 years.In the beginning my marriage was going great but over the course of the last 5 years my husband's become unbearable to live with.He turned into an abusive wide beater.He's not an alcoholic but he literally treats me like a piece of crap.He takes me for granted and hits me.He acts as though I'm his slave.I've tried talking to him about it,confronting him but sadly,he doesn't seem to care.One day I decided I couldn't put up with him any more.That happened when my mother saw my bruised face,tears started running down her face because she knew I was mistreated.I filed for divorce but to this date,my husband won't sign the papers and still beats me up regularly and calls me names.I used to cry and I still do but it's almost like I've gotten used to this way of life.I've considered calling the police but he's threatened to kill me if I do that.There have been times I've contemplated suicide because we don't have kids so I have nothing to live for.I forgot to point out that I live in an apartment.Most of our neighbors are very concerned for me and have helped me tremendously over the years and have been very supportive. I'm not divorced yet but to me,my relationship with my husband ended a long time ago.I'm currently seeing this amazing,incredible,sweet man who lives next door to me.This came about when one day as I was stepping out and carrying a basket of laundry I accidentally bumped into him,dropped the basket and all clothes scattered on the floor.He was so nice since the very beginning.He collected them into the basket and picked it up,apologized for the accused many times and even offered me his help to make it up to me.I have to admit,he's a good looking guy but that's not what attracted me.It was his kindness that stole my heart.After helping me with most of the housework I told him I couldn't thank him enough and that he didn't have to do any of that.He said there was no problem.We were just gazing at each other.He attempted to kiss me but I backed away and told him it'd be wrong as I was married but I couldn't bear to watch him leave so I couldn't resist the temptation and kissed him right after denying him a kiss.He kissed me back and I wasn't even dressed well but he said I was sexy and we ended up having sex.That was first time we'd had it and it was so special.Perhaps,it was the best day of my life.He even cuddled with me afterwards and heard me out when I was venting to him.We got to know each other and even though it was wrong we continued to see each other almost every day.At first,I thought he was only using me for sex which was also fine with me at that point because he is the nicest person that I know but eventually we started going out on dates.He's much younger than me.He's still a student and I do realize that is wrong but I think I'm in love with him.At one point I thought I'd never be able to fall in love again because of my husband but I guess I was wrong.He hasn't told me he loves me yet but even if he doesn't I still want to be with him.I think about him every day and I sometimes dream about him at night.He's so nice to me and literally treats me like a princess.My husband,on the other hand,treats me like dirt and if he cared about me maybe he would've found out about my relationship with Carl(the young boy).Like I said,I'm not divorced yet but that's because my husband won't sign the papers.He means nothing to me any more and I don't love him but I still feel guilty because I'm practically cheating on him.Am I a horrible person?I'd like to read more people's opinions because I feel very guilty.Thank you im advance!
wb1988 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Yes you are a horrible person and I didn't have to read your post to know. People that destroy lives, steal, cheat and etcetera all ask "ask I a horrible person?".
Gaeta Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I find it interesting that you don't have the will or the motivation to get up and leave your abusive husband but you have enough energy and motivation to have and hide an affair. 1
mr_dave Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Cheating is wrong, full stop. If your husband is as big a twerp as you have stated, he abuses you physically and mentally, and you no longer love him - then you should separate and get a divorce. Do you still live with him and share the same bed? If so, why? 1
elaine567 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Get somewhere else to live and move out. YOU have no kids so what's stopping you?
babycakees Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Two wrongs do not make a right. You need to take action and leave your husband. I really think you only are having this affair for the love and affection you are not receiving from your husband. It is truly time to realize you control your own destiny. Take a stand and leave him for good. He threatens to hurt/kill you, get a restraining order and get the police involved.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 In America, refusal to sign divorce papers will not keep a party married. A judge will grant a divorce, even if the respondent party doesn't show up to court. Is your country one that doesn't recognize woman's rights? Why can't you move in with your mom until you can get your own place?
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