babycakees Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Quick update: So since sending this girl a message ... I've had 4 girls wanting to meet me. They're all 25 years or over (I'm 21), and I'm not comfortable with it, so I'm choosing to ignore them. I've got to say that most of the girls who have expressed interest in me are either black or over 24. Just curious..... What's wrong with a 24 year old female? An older woman could be more mature and not play games... Just a thought.
Author hakim Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 They will never meet the right someone. Most girls on POF are single forever, addicted to the attention from guys, unrealistic standards (lol don't girls know that us guys message you even if we're not interested and only want your pussy) and probably have forgotten what dating is like. Yeah I've given my number a few times and never got a date with that approach, ever. You need to ask for her number and keep the ball in your court always. I'm not on POF, I'm on OKcupid. It seems POF is really bad for the London area, that's why I went for OKcupid instead. I guess dating websites depend on where you are. I don't really see the difference between handing your number out and asking for hers ... ultimately if she isn't interested she won't give hers. The ball is in her court now anyway.
IronZ Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 You had 2 messages with her. I've had more than that and had girls disappear on me. You shouldn't get so invested in her. I know that's easier said than done but that's just how it is. I really can't stand how flakey women are on OLD sites. It really does suck.
Lois_Griffin Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I saw absolutely nothing wrong with your last message. If she's interested, she'll call. I've had many men send me their numbers and while I'm from a different generation who normally always had the men call, I didn't mind making the first call. But admittedly, I only called those I was really interested in even though at any give time I was probably chatting (message wise) with 5 or 6 different guys. She may be busy or maybe her attention was pulled away in another direction. That happens quite a bit with women online as they get a lot of messages and attention from men and sometimes it happens. If you don't hear from her in a couple of days, I don't see anything wrong with shooting off one last message to her asking about her weekend or whatever to re-open the lines of communication. It's only online messaging, it's not like you're sitting outside her house stalking her. if she's not interested she'll just ignore you and that will be that. No harm, no foul.
Author hakim Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 Just curious..... What's wrong with a 24 year old female? An older woman could be more mature and not play games... Just a thought. I have my own preferences.
Author hakim Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 Do you guys maybe think that me saying "You can tell me all about it (the travelling) when we meet" might have been to forward? Maybe that's what has scared her away?
fitnessfan365 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 It's good you went for it after a few emails. Better to find out if a woman's in or out as quickly as possible. But I think your mistake was telling her to contact you. A lot of women still like to be pursued and it's more confident to go after what you want instead of relying on her to take the lead. I would've sent this - "It's been fun getting to know you so far! But you're way too attractive to be a pen pal with. What's your number? I'll call you and we'll plan to meet up soon"
babycakees Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Do you guys maybe think that me saying "You can tell me all about it (the travelling) when we meet" might have been to forward? Maybe that's what has scared her away? No. What is the point of being on an online dating site if you never intend to meet anyone? That's the sole purpose. To meet new people.
angel.eyes Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Yeah I've given my number a few times and never got a date with that approach, ever. You need to ask for her number and keep the ball in your court always. You can ask once. That's fine. Personally, I think a lot more highly of the guy who offers me his phone number. It shows that he's considerate of concerns I might have rather than just focused on getting what he wants. I have the impression from this post though that you persist even if she defers and/or offers to call you instead. Insisting that some stranger give you her number when she's reluctant to do so is sheer silliness. After dialing enough fake numbers and getting confused responses on the other end, most guys wisen up and just give you their number if yours isn't forthcoming. The last time some stranger insisted on getting my number I was in high school. (This was a cold approach.) After he insisted 3 or 4 times...fake number AND for good measure fake name...enjoy! I'm not dealing with guys who don't respect my feelings, let alone dating them. Be a prick and make the other person uncomfortable, and your chances of getting anywhere will fall to 0%, no matter where on the scale of interest she might have been originally. It's a balance...assertive but not overly aggressive. I thought the OP had the perfect balance. 1
angel.eyes Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Do you guys maybe think that me saying "You can tell me all about it (the travelling) when we meet" might have been to forward? Maybe that's what has scared her away? The point of being on a dating site is to go on dates. Your response shows that you get that. Your exchange was fine. Relax. Be patient.
Author hakim Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 No. What is the point of being on an online dating site if you never intend to meet anyone? That's the sole purpose. To meet new people. Well lots of people use dating websites as a means of validation. Maybe they're insecure about their looks and getting 100 messages a day makes them feel better?
Author hakim Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 You can ask once. That's fine. Personally, I think a lot more highly of the guy who offers me his phone number. It shows that he's considerate of concerns I might have rather than just focused on getting what he wants. I have the impression from this post though that you persist even if she defers and/or offers to call you instead. Insisting that some stranger give you her number when she's reluctant to do so is sheer silliness. After dialing enough fake numbers and getting confused responses on the other end, most guys wisen up and just give you their number if yours isn't forthcoming. The last time some stranger insisted on getting my number I was in high school. (This was a cold approach.) After he insisted 3 or 4 times...fake number AND for good measure fake name...enjoy! I'm not dealing with guys who don't respect my feelings, let alone dating them. Be a prick and make the other person uncomfortable, and your chances of getting anywhere will fall to 0%, no matter where on the scale of interest she might have been originally. It's a balance...assertive but not overly aggressive. I thought the OP had the perfect balance. Oooooh thank you Hope this girl I'm talking to feels the same way as you do!
Author hakim Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 The point of being on a dating site is to go on dates. Your response shows that you get that. Your exchange was fine. Relax. Be patient. It sure is, but a lot of people go on them purely for validation, or an ego-stroke if you will. It's frustrating, but some times you end up with the less flakey.
angel.eyes Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) It sure is, but a lot of people go on them purely for validation, or an ego-stroke if you will. It's frustrating, but some times you end up with the less flakey. According to whom? Guys with little to offer as a partner who feel entitled to date anyone they wish and are then bitter and upset when their only responses come from women they don't find attractive? No, it couldn't possibly be an issue with them or their unrealistic expectations. Nor could other people have preferences. I dunno. You didn't respond to four women this afternoon! Maybe you're just on the site to get validation and your ego stroked??? Maybe that's why you're so concerned about this particular woman. She hasn't stroked your ego sufficiently yet? Let me know when you run across someone who tells you they joined solely for validation. Until then, take some of these wild, unfounded statements with a gigantic grain of salt. Edited July 19, 2015 by angel.eyes 1
Candygirljane Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 maybe she just met someone else and she is not interested in u anymore
Versacehottie Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 According to whom? Guys with little to offer as a partner who feel entitled to date anyone they wish and are then bitter and upset when their only responses come from women they don't find attractive? No, it couldn't possibly be an issue with them or their unrealistic expectations. Nor could other people have preferences. I dunno. You didn't respond to four women this afternoon! Maybe you're just on the site to get validation and your ego stroked??? Maybe that's why you're so concerned about this particular woman. She hasn't stroked your ego sufficiently yet? Let me know when you run across someone who tells you they joined solely for validation. Until then, take some of these wild, unfounded statements with a gigantic grain of salt. yeah, hakim that does sound a bit ungrateful of you about the women who ARE interested in you. Whatever, you're not interested in them. Doesn't necessitate a tantrum or berating them. Think good karma. Treat people well--in dating that would mean at least be thankful that they are interested even if you are not--and what you deserve will come back to you. Right now it's not looking so good.
phineas Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 maybe she just met someone else and she is not interested in u anymore ding ding ding. I had a woman texting me all weekend while she was out of town, send me pics ect and act like she was totally into me & couldn't wait to meet me when she got back. She hit me up when she got back into town, chated a little then when I confirmed the time to meet........nothing....LOL! no worries. whatever.
Recommended Posts