DexterLS Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Hello, I have been on LS for a while now following my rough breakup and I can't seem to be improving. If you guys do not know about my story, here is a summary. - Long term relationship of 6 years. She went to work in Dubai in Sept. 2014. - She started to emotionally cheat on me as from Dec. 2014 and broke up many times with me and coming back again later on. - I booked a ticket to go see her in March as I felt the distance is really taking a toll on us now. - When I get there, I found out, she has been sleeping with the guy who she was emotionally cheating on me, since February. - Both her, and the guy knew I was coming to Dubai but yet slept together. - When I got there, obviously the news came as a big shock to me. She cried, told me it was a mistake and that we should make it work. - I even bought a ring from here to propose. Obviously, I was very weak at that moment and decided to make it work. I proposed, she agreed, cried and told me she will do everything to make us work again. - As soon as I got back in my country, she then tells me she has feelings for the other guy. So from 20th March - 30 th June (3 months), she really strung me along while still sleeping with the other guy. She gave me false hopes, took it back. She played this game for a while and I let her do it. I tried to initiate NC many times but to fail again and again. On 30th June, I was at my lowest point after she told me she is going on a vacation with the other guy and hence, told her I need to really stop this and leave. I took a stance and left and she "agreed". Yesterday was her birthday and she went for a vacation with the other guy in a different country. For the first time, since 20th March, she put up a lot of photos etc on her social media accounts with the other guy. She is at a point where she just doesn't care what our mutual friends think about anymore. She is happy with another guy and she is not afraid to show it. This is the current state of things. --------- However, here's a little backstory to give you an idea of how we met etc. We were both 18 when we met during high school and we have been together ever since. It was our first relationship. I recently lost my mother to cancer when I met her and we got attached very quickly. We are both 24 now. Obviously, we had our little fights as a couple but we were very close. When she was in my country, I felt she was way more invested in the relationship rather than I was. She was very possessive and jealous all the time. I was a great boyfriend to her for 6 years. When I started working and bought a car, I made it a must to go and pick her up from work every day even though it meant, I had to drive an hour more per day. She changed job at one point and I always made sure I get to see her for lunch at least 3 times per week. When she left, she made me promise that I will wait for her and that we will be together. She was really insecure that I would find someone else. I had a really flourishing career and there were several times, I got asked out by girls at work etc. I rejected each and every one of them to stay with her. --------- She then leaves to work in Dubai and then cheats and dumps me for the other guy. She tried everything to rub it in my face about finding someone better than me. True, the guy is more physically handsome than me (Tall, blonde, blue eyes) and yes, she did mention that the sex was wayyyy better than with me. Her sisters used to love me and tried to talk to me everyday but obviously at one point, they all gave up. She is family and they all took her side eventually. I saw her sisters commenting on her status updates telling her to "have fun" on the trip etc. I was really close with all of them and obviously, it hurts like hell to see them do that. I stuck by this girl for 6 years during a lot of her bad times. I was close with the family and I helped them a lot as well. Financially and what not. As soon as she got a job that paid her well, offered her opportunity to travel, and total freedom in a new country, she left me. I went into a severe depression since 20th March, sought the help of a therapist, was hospitalised due to severe stress as well. --------- Despite all of this happening to me, I can't help but recycle a situation about her getting back with me. I read about the GIGS thread and this situation is exactly like described on there. 2 weeks before she left for the trip, she admitted to still having feelings for me and is in between two persons. Then she goes and starts to upload all kinds of photos with the other guy when I told her I can't do this anymore. Why can't I let this go? She cheated on me and that should have been it. I should have been able to leave straight away. Why am I still attracted to something that is (and will) obviously hurting me?
casey.lives Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 sounds like YOU are codependent. fix YOUR ISSUES!!
jbrent890 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 sounds like YOU are codependent. fix YOUR ISSUES!! This poster took the words out of my mouth. You are completely codependent on this girl and whats worse, she knows it. She knows as soon as she starts crying and apologizing, she's got you. You need to excommunicate this girl from your life. Your in different countries, so it should be easy. Block her number, social media accounts, and email. Then you can start the process of moving on with your life. Focus on improving yourself and you will be surprised how quickly you will get over her. Trust me, I have been there.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Because you refuse to go hard NC. You're cyber stalking her. You can't move on until you let her go. Pretend she's dead. Don't try living in the past. Find other girls to chase.
Jacob_Duluoz Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 When she was in my country, I felt she was way more invested in the relationship rather than I was. She was very possessive and jealous all the time. I was a great boyfriend to her for 6 years. When I started working and bought a car, I made it a must to go and pick her up from work every day even though it meant, I had to drive an hour more per day. She changed job at one point and I always made sure I get to see her for lunch at least 3 times per week. You are emotionally dependent on her. She didn't just cheat on you, she rubbed your nose in it and you're still letting her rub your nose in it. Find something to do, it's a very populous planet.
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