sparkle222 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I've vented about this a few times but here goes again-- long story short, dated for a year at university, i broke it off when it went long distance, it got waffly because I wanted to reconcile but wasn't sure blahblah, he started seeing someone else, we both returned and it got messy when he got 'conflicted' between us. i think he thought i thought i was too good for him. he kept going out with her, she eventually broke up with him (i didn't learn this for a while), we remained semi-civil until the end of university (I was probably one of his very few friends), etc. the whole situation really affected me, i felt terrible that i'd broken it off (and regretted it, but i hadn't known how to fix it) and had to deal with a lot of meanness from him in the final year and didn't handle it well. i ended up doing worse in my studies as a result, and he did really well. he now says he wants to remain close friends but says he'll never date me again and will date others. he only made the effort twice to see me in the year--once after he'd been dumped by the other girl (which I hadn't realised) and once after our results came out and he'd done well and wanted to show off--although we inadvertently (and also intentionally, from my part) spent a lot of time together--I couldn't help it, I missed his company, and the other friends I had were really difficult in other ways, and he kept saying he wanted to be friends. how do i make myself cut off all contact with him? i thought i'd be able to this year but found myself always spending time with him (we also lived near each other which didn't help) and although I wanted the company it became very unhealthy because part of me subconsciously hoped we'd reconcile--yet no matter how much effort i put into seeing him or being kind he didn't care. i thought i could create a distant impersonal friendship now but it's not working; even now i feel so upset by the whole thing--I get I hurt him in the past but I feel like I'm still being punished by him. i've wasted so much time and energy on this guy; perhaps some reassurance about how awful he is would help. I also don't see why he wants to remain close friends when it's clearly so bad for everyone involved; surely either no contact or getting back together would be better?
NoLeafClover Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 You sound wishy washey...you broke up with him, then you felt bad and you wanted to reconcile...he found another girl and you found out after they broke up. During this time he apparently tried to win you back? I am not sure I am understanding your story straight but it sounds to me that you want to be away from this ex yet you stated you wanted to reconcile. Do you not know what you want? He doesn't seem he wants to be with you anymore and wants to stay friends. If you broke up with him to start off with then this should not be an issue on your end. If you are having feelings for him still then you should try to avoid him until you are full y over him.
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