gwaimui Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I don't know if this is an A or what exactly it is...but here's the story in point form (otherwise, its really long) but guy befriends couple, interviews H for his thesis, W did her first degree in same subject and was very interested in the subject guy asks W to edit thesis, W accepts guy and W gets closer, guy starts flirting with W, she is flattered and reciprocates guy and W go on a research trip, lines are crossed, there is making out and oral W tells H who doesn't get mad possibly because they have discussed boundaries, which making out and oral (F on M) is okay for both parties, but not intercourse. H still likes guy and they are friends. H said not to tell guy he knows because it would freak out guy and hurt their friendship. after guy's thesis is done, he pulls away from W, but remains friends with both a few months go by, guy kisses W, turns out he needed a favor from H guy moves back to home country, comes back for 40 day visit stays with H and W continues playing with W during visit (oral and kissing, never any intercourse) I am not sure what the hell it is...was it an A?
anika99 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Well if the wife stuck to the boundaries she and her husband agreed to, it wasn't cheating. However you might be able to call it an affair based on this definition: Affair:a romantic or passionate attachment typically of limited duration
Arieswoman Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 gwaimai, I don't think it matters what you call it - that's just getting into semantics. As far as I can see your wife didn't cross any boundaries, according to the rules you made and agreed on. So I'm not sure what the problem is?
Author gwaimui Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 Thanks for your replies I am actually the W in the story.... But the reason I was confused is I don't know many people in open (with boundaries, ie no EA or intercourse) marriages. A friend of mine came over to our place when we were having a BBQ and there were about 8 of us hanging out. She noticed guy and I, I guess we were being flirty or something, she suspected something was up and asked me later. When I told her about what was going on, she said H is probably hurting but isn't showing it and that no man would allow his wife to play with another guy and really be okay with it, regardless of what they talked about beforehand. She said it was an A, but I wasn't sure. So I was confused as to what it is.
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