always.1985 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Me and my ex ending things in an amicable way! We both knew it was for the best and had no hard feelings at the time..... although I have been quite angry with him recently I guess this is part of the process. Today I found out he had deleted every single photo related to me off facebook and instagram.....like I never existed. I know that everyone deals with things differently but I've just found it so hurtful that he's deleted everything! Its like 4 years of his life....There is no trace that we were ever together. Like I meant absolutely nothing to him I definitely don't ever want to be with him again I just find it nice to be able to have something to remember the happy times we did have. How does everyone else deal with facebook and instagram photos?
Phoenician Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Me and my ex ending things in an amicable way! We both knew it was for the best and had no hard feelings at the time..... although I have been quite angry with him recently I guess this is part of the process. Today I found out he had deleted every single photo related to me off facebook and instagram.....like I never existed. I know that everyone deals with things differently but I've just found it so hurtful that he's deleted everything! Its like 4 years of his life....There is no trace that we were ever together. Like I meant absolutely nothing to him I definitely don't ever want to be with him again I just find it nice to be able to have something to remember the happy times we did have. How does everyone else deal with facebook and instagram photos? never believe it is amicable way , it is just a mature way of handling things , I think most ppl would like to delete everything that remind them of the trauma
aloneinaz Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 It's absolutely NORMAL for either party to delete all the photo's of a previous significant other after a relationship ends. When my last ex and I ended, the FIRST thing I did after blocking her on FB was to "clean" my FB account. There's NO reason to have memories of a failed R/S all over your FB profile. I don't know anyone who has an active FB account who would leave pictures of an ex up after they broke up. When I started dating again and started seeing someone, we became FB friends. I couldn't imagine her seeing pictures of my ex on there. She'd of thought I was crazy..lol Understand, MANY people wipe all their social media profiles clean after a relationship ends. They also wipe their phones, texts and computers clean of any reminders/photo's/conversations as well. Some may keep them on a flash drive while others (like my GF) deleted every single picture of the time she spent with her last ex. 1
Author always.1985 Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 It's absolutely NORMAL for either party to delete all the photo's of a previous significant other after a relationship ends. When my last ex and I ended, the FIRST thing I did after blocking her on FB was to "clean" my FB account. There's NO reason to have memories of a failed R/S all over your FB profile. I don't know anyone who has an active FB account who would leave pictures of an ex up after they broke up. When I started dating again and started seeing someone, we became FB friends. I couldn't imagine her seeing pictures of my ex on there. She'd of thought I was crazy..lol Understand, MANY people wipe all their social media profiles clean after a relationship ends. They also wipe their phones, texts and computers clean of any reminders/photo's/conversations as well. Some may keep them on a flash drive while others (like my GF) deleted every single picture of the time she spent with her last ex. Thank you. I guess everyone deals with things differently. I just deleted and blocked him from facebook to stop myself from looking - It actually felt quite good.
Gus Grimly Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Thank you. I guess everyone deals with things differently. I just deleted and blocked him from facebook to stop myself from looking - It actually felt quite good. It's best to rid your life of any evidence you two were ever a couple. Blocking your Ex on any social media is imperative as well. It's horrible having to literally delete a part of your life, someone you loved wiped away, but it's truly the only way you will heal.
ravfour4 Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I'm 26 and the large majority of my friends have never removed pictures from a failed relationship and neither of my ex's have either. The only people I know who have done it were either really really hurt by the break-up or they really wanted to forget the other person realizing how bad they were to them.
Author always.1985 Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 I'm 26 and the large majority of my friends have never removed pictures from a failed relationship and neither of my ex's have either. The only people I know who have done it were either really really hurt by the break-up or they really wanted to forget the other person realizing how bad they were to them. What do you mean? I wasn't bad to him at all it was more the other way round.
aloneinaz Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Thank you. I guess everyone deals with things differently. I just deleted and blocked him from facebook to stop myself from looking - It actually felt quite good. It usually does feel good to block and delete exes from social media. It's like a cleansing or something. I was married for 11 years and divorced 7 years ago. I've never looked at any pictures of the ex nor do I have any desire to look at them. I have several other LTR's from decades ago that ended on good terms. I have many pictures from those relationship and have had no desire to look at them. When a break up is fresh, it does seem harsh and cold to delete pictures/emails/texts, etc.. But, what good does keeping those reminders do? Yes, they are a reminder of good times of our lives, but, there's no benefit to looking at them, especially when it's fresh. Some will move everything to memory sticks and put the sticks out of the way in the attic. Others come to the conclusion that they want NOTHING to remind them of the failed relationship and throw out and delete everything. This includes gifts, cards, emails, texts, pictures and anything else.
Morphine Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Thank you. I guess everyone deals with things differently. I just deleted and blocked him from facebook to stop myself from looking - It actually felt quite good. Just wait few days/weeks. It will hurt as hell. After the time pain will go away. I think I agree with ravfour4. But I would delete photos where I am kissing with my ex but hugging, holding hands, together in a group photo - probably not. I am resentful of what she did to me - but also she gave me 7 years of some smazing memories! I loved her for gods sake! What I would consider, however, is to dowload all the pgotos with ex from facebook and keep it on a drive someahere??
Author always.1985 Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 When a break up is fresh, it does seem harsh and cold to delete pictures/emails/texts, etc.. But, what good does keeping those reminders do? I know that you're right, It just feels like our whole relationship didn't even exist to him. I didn't realise how hurt this would make me feel - I know I sound so pathetic.
aloneinaz Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I know that you're right, It just feels like our whole relationship didn't even exist to him. I didn't realise how hurt this would make me feel - I know I sound so pathetic. No, YOU'RE NOT pathetic. Trust me sweetie. We've all been there. I felt the same way when my last ex ended us. You're in the shocked, hurt and withdrawal stage. Some people suggest to remove all pictures from your phone and computer to a memory stick and then put it away in a hard to get to spot. This will keep you from reminiscing while you're at this stage. A few months from now, you'll be feeling better about it. You won't have any desire to look at those photos. You may even throw those memory sticks away or put them in your collectable box for years later when you're reflecting on your life. I deleted MOST of the pictures of my last ex. Wiped my phone clean of emails and texts. I KNEW I'd never want to date her again. I'm a sentimental guy but really felt like there was no reason to keep pictures of this ex. I kept pictures of trips and of me from our trips together. As I've gotten older, I just don't find myself wanting to look at old photo albums or pictures of past times. Maybe I will when I'm retired and old. I want to focus on right now and my future. We can't change our past and I don't view time spent with exes as a waste, what so ever. They were life experiences and we did enjoy our time with them. We just have to accept that we were not meant to be together forever.
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I deleted every picture of my ex on FB except for one that I used as my profile pic when we were together (it's no longer my profile pic FYI). Why did I do this? When other girls I'm interested in go through my profile they'll see what an attractive girl I was with, it ups my value. Lame? Sure, but it works.
prd Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 My ex girlfriend broke up with me and deleted a couple of our most recent photos of us together off Facebook about a week after the BU. She left some of the photos up from last year; maybe she just didn't go back that far I'm not sure. I still have some photos of us on my phone but I don't go into my gallery much and it's been many months since the BU so it doesn't really bother me.
mightycpa Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I know that you're right, It just feels like our whole relationship didn't even exist to him. I didn't realise how hurt this would make me feel - I know I sound so pathetic. Why don't you just tell yourself that he collected them all into a private album and no longer shares those pictures with anybody?
darkbloom Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I deleted my facebook the first time my ex broke up with me. He was traumatized. He couldn't believe that I wanted nothing to do with him or our past when we broke up. This last time I deleted evey picture and post off both instagram and facebook. I don't want to even be associated with him. I can't change the breakup, but I can change the relationship on social media.
infiniteQuest Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I know how much it sucks to be suddenly removed from your spot in the life of the person you have so many happy memories with. You feel like you didn't mean anything, like they're trying to hurt you or diminish the place you had in their life during that time. Just know that he must not have a party dealing with this on his end. Memories that you've shared are both yours, and you will both own them for the rest of your lives, so if it's any comfort, he won't be able to get rid of the memories either no matter how many pictures he deletes. It doesn't mean you will be back together, it means that you've shared something that will forever be burnt in your memories. 1
Gus Grimly Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 I can't change the breakup, but I can change the relationship on social media. That's the best way to do it. It's not an easy thing to do but having no reminder of your Ex is Huge in the recovery process. I NEEDED to remove and block my Ex as much as I could, anywhere I could. My Ex is no longer part of my life. Yes, not too long ago she was my best, closest friend. Today she's a stranger.
Author always.1985 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 I know how much it sucks to be suddenly removed from your spot in the life of the person you have so many happy memories with. You feel like you didn't mean anything, like they're trying to hurt you or diminish the place you had in their life during that time. Just know that he must not have a party dealing with this on his end. Memories that you've shared are both yours, and you will both own them for the rest of your lives, so if it's any comfort, he won't be able to get rid of the memories either no matter how many pictures he deletes. It doesn't mean you will be back together, it means that you've shared something that will forever be burnt in your memories. I really like this way of looking at it. We both knew it wasn't working out and wouldn't want to go back to each other. I just didn't like the idea of totally being erased...no one would ever know I ever existed from looking at his social media. But I guess social media isn't really that important and you're right that we will both have the memories no matter how many photos we delete. Thank you for this response it has helped to put a new perspective on it
Author always.1985 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 Just know that he must not have a party dealing with this on his end. Can I ask what you meant by this?
infiniteQuest Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Can I ask what you meant by this? I meant he must also have a really hard time dealing with the loss, no matter how rational the decision was. Maybe he just wants to move on as quickly as possible, but usually these actions don't come from a happy place, he may also be having a really tough time.
Jaay30 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 What stinks is that we don't know the other persons thoughts or hearts. We only see their actions. So if their actions hurt us, we immediately associate them with something negative against us because it has to do with us. It was probably his way of coping. Who knows? But the more you try to figure it out, the more anxiety you will get from the world of the unknown. I would feel broken too. My ex is going through a roller coaster ride. She is not in a good place for various reasons. She is not happy with herself. Financial problems, laack of support, and health issues are just tearing her apart. Who suffers? Me? I am the one that she needs space from. It hurts but I have to remember its her dealing the way she knows. It sound like he is doing it to move on. And this is ok. It doesn't mean he will forget you. You don't need pictures to remember. But the most important question is, what will you to do move on yourself? Just keep your head up. Don't follow his actions. Focus on you. And if you need to take a break from social media....DO IT. All the best Jaay 1
Author always.1985 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 What stinks is that we don't know the other persons thoughts or hearts. We only see their actions. So if their actions hurt us, we immediately associate them with something negative against us because it has to do with us. It was probably his way of coping. Who knows? But the more you try to figure it out, the more anxiety you will get from the world of the unknown. I would feel broken too. My ex is going through a roller coaster ride. She is not in a good place for various reasons. She is not happy with herself. Financial problems, laack of support, and health issues are just tearing her apart. Who suffers? Me? I am the one that she needs space from. It hurts but I have to remember its her dealing the way she knows. It sound like he is doing it to move on. And this is ok. It doesn't mean he will forget you. You don't need pictures to remember. But the most important question is, what will you to do move on yourself? Just keep your head up. Don't follow his actions. Focus on you. And if you need to take a break from social media....DO IT. All the best Jaay I hate not knowing. I hate not knowing how he is, what he's up to, what he's thinking. Its horrible going from one day living with someone and then the next never seeing or speaking to them again. Its been 3 and a half weeks and I still can't get my head around that fact. I deleted him from facebook as I couldn't seem to stop myself from wanting to check it. I know everyone says we should delete everything.....but I just can't do it. I don't want to delete all the photos we had together, they were happy memories. I guess I just felt that we ended things in the best way you possibly could...and that it was bitter to just delete everything about me. I suppose I'll never know why, maybe its because he'd found someone new and doesn't need photos of me everywhere. Or maybe he just doesn't want reminders. I guess we both have to realise that people deal with things differently, in ways we may not understand. Thank you for your advise and good luck with your situation too
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