delux27 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 So me and my gf of almost 2 years broke up about 4 weeks ago. In the 2 years we broke up 2 other times for like a day, we would both resort to saying things like maybe we shouldn't be together when we fought and then another big fight happened about moving in together, I was ready and she said we were fighting too much for it to be a good time for that move. After this third mutual break up I contacted her and said I want to work this out, she said she needed time to think. Then a friend or so I thought he was at the time that he saw her at the bar with another guy. I freaked out and showed up at her house late at night and she said that I made her decision for her by showing up like that. I said I was sorry many times and the guy was only a friend that I actually knew. So I told her I would respect her decision and did not contact her for almost 2 weeks. Then I wrote her a message that basically said I won't give up on us and hope she is doing well. No response. Another week goes by and in felt like I needed closure so I wrote her a very long email stating the things I missed about us and apologizing for the wrongs in felt I caused in the relation ship and said I was letting her go and maybe we can be friends and I hope there is no resentment between us. Her response was very short text that said I appreciate everything u said and I'm sorry how things ended up and she hopes we can be friends someday and there was no resentment.* Now this is where things get a little complicated. Our best friends are married and have been having problems for a few months and after me and her split he decided he would stay with me for awhile while his wife figured out what she wanted. So then my ex texts me and said she doesn't think I should let him stay with me. I responded just by saying he is my best friend and it's not my place to try to control him. Then 2 days later he invited a mutual girl friend out with us only as friends. Then the next day his wife and my ex showed up at my place to confront him and I simply saw her and went inside without saying a word. Then I text her later and said it's not fair for her to show up like that and she said she didn't plan on it but was asked to come for support and make sure things didn't turn physical. I said in understood and hope she is doing well and the conversation ended there.* Now my question us that by basically continuing to try to get her back for almost a full month have a made the damage to much for no contact to work now? I have made myself look weak and not in control of my emotions which is one reason I feel like we broke up. She doesn't want to be with someone who resorts to breakup every big fight. In my letter I told her I have learned alot and that I would never allow myself to lose her again if given another chance. I have been focusing on myself and lost alot of weight in this month but the pain feels like it's at its worst since I was forced to see her just 2 days ago. Please give me some advice how I either move on or somehow get her to want me back???
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Now my question us that by basically continuing to try to get her back for almost a full month have a made the damage to much *for no contact to work now? No contact is about two things, and two things only: 1. It protects you from further hurt. 2. It allows you to heal without being distracted by the ex. Thats all it is, and all it does. Nothing you can do will make her want you. She will either come to that place by virtue of her own thoughts and feelings, or she won't come to it at all. Take care. 1
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