Justme1977 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 My boyfriend and I of a year have recently broke up. He got really upset with me one day over something trivial and he he ended things through text. I felt I deserved a lot better than a text breakup so I just went ahead and excepted it. I was terribly heart broken though. The next few days I told him this is not what I wanted and I thought we should work things out. He says he loves me, he's in love with and wants to be with me but he can't. When we exchanged some of our belongings he cried and cried. We also had a prepaid for for vacation that we went ahead and went in despite the fact we were broken up. It was the most amazing time of our lives, but he still does t think he could be with me right now. He gets very upset when we talk or see one another because "he's so in love with me but can't be with me" so we decided that we should try no contact. That doesn't work out to well either he always ends up contacting in some way. I told him I still want to work things out. He still says he loves me he's in love with me he wants to be with me but he cant right now. I have never seen someone so upset over a breakup, especially one he initiated. What should I do? Should I initiate no contact at all untill if he ever pulls hisself together?
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 There is something big that he hasn't told you. It's not necessarily infidelity, or something of that ilk. More likely something about himself that he can't accept. If you do some careful deductive reasoning, you'll figure out what it is. Occam's razor is your friend. 3
sober and dry Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Sorry for saying this, but without knowing anymore details, to me, it looks like he has someone else Anyway you better go for NC. 1
aloneinaz Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Another great example of words meaning nothing and actions speaking volumes. So, he's "madly in love with you" yet he can't be with you? Huh? Does he sell used cars all day too? Do yourself a favor girl. VANISH from this guys life. He's feeding you a bunch of malarkey. When I'm madly in love with a woman, the last thing I'd do is tell her I can't be w/her.. Seriously, you deserve much better than this douche bag. If a girl I was dating told me that, after I threw up in my mouth from her BS, I'd say "Ok" and she'd never hear from me again. Life's WAY to short for people like this in our lives. 1
54JA Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 I could be wrong but it sounds like he is just punishing you for the trivial thing you did that made him mad. He may still be upset about the things you did, and chose to put you through this BS to teach you a lesson, rather than telling you exactly what he wants you to change. It just doesn't seem like he is that committed to his decision to break up with you. If he really feels that he can't be with you, he would not have gone on the vacation with you even if it's prepaid. If I really meant it, not getting the refund on my vacation would be the least of my worries. If he really can't be with you, he wouldn't be contacting you either. Yes, it's possible that he really didn't mean to break up with you, and you may have a chance to get back with him, but the question is, do you really want to be with someone who would do this to you? Do you really want to be with someone whose words don't mean anything, feels the need to punish you when he's mad rather than communicating with you clearly? Either way, it seems like a lose-lose situation. If I am wrong here (that is, he is not doing this to punish you; he is doing this because he really can't be with you but just having a hard time letting you go), that's not good either. If this is the case where he meant what he said but is having a hard time letting you go, the pain is just going to drag.
Arieswoman Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Justme1977, I'm sorry you are going through this. He got really upset with me one day over something trivial and he he ended things through text. ^ this guy is a jerk of the first order. No-one who loves someone else breaks up by text, that's BS. Please, please, put as much distance from this sack of runny poop as you can. You deserve better than this, don't you?
Author Justme1977 Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 I certainly do! He just came over because I really just wanted to exchange the rest of our belongings and he cried and cried into me neck still clamming he loved me, was in love with me blah blah blah. Smh this is so dumb.
nouedis Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 It seems to me like he does have someone else. So the best thing you can do is just accept it and move on.
Author Justme1977 Posted July 30, 2015 Author Posted July 30, 2015 Soo we broke up about a month and a half ago. We tried no contact but we keep contacting one another. He still tells me he loves me he's in love with me. Now we are planning to go head and take our anniversary trip in August. Weird huh?
Methodical Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Married? For how long? Why did you separate? Are the issues irreconcilable or not?
casey.lives Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 congratulations! It shows that people say things they don"t mean!!
goldway90 Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 The thing is unless you work on what caused the break up/ relationship issues, it's not going to work.
Author Justme1977 Posted July 30, 2015 Author Posted July 30, 2015 Together a year not married. He admits any issues we had aren't that big and could be worked out. He's so upset all the time hard to even understand why we are still broken up. He got upset and ended things over a silly little thing. I guess he just lost his temper.we have actually been a lot closer since the break up. Talking about there relationship and our thoughts a lot. Strange. I hope the anniversary trip will be a reconciliation of sorts but at least I get to have an amazing time with someone amazing (great sex too lol)
Simon Phoenix Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Sounds pretty unstable to me. Those that don't learn from previous history are doomed to repeat it. 2
Redhead14 Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 My boyfriend and I of a year have recently broke up. He got really upset with me one day over something trivial and he he ended things through text. I felt I deserved a lot better than a text breakup so I just went ahead and excepted it. I was terribly heart broken though. The next few days I told him this is not what I wanted and I thought we should work things out. He says he loves me, he's in love with and wants to be with me but he can't. When we exchanged some of our belongings he cried and cried. We also had a prepaid for for vacation that we went ahead and went in despite the fact we were broken up. It was the most amazing time of our lives, but he still does t think he could be with me right now. He gets very upset when we talk or see one another because "he's so in love with me but can't be with me" so we decided that we should try no contact. That doesn't work out to well either he always ends up contacting in some way. I told him I still want to work things out. He still says he loves me he's in love with me he wants to be with me but he cant right now. I have never seen someone so upset over a breakup, especially one he initiated. What should I do? Should I initiate no contact at all untill if he ever pulls hisself together? You have never seen someone so upset overa break up? What about YOU? Go no contact for a specified period, not more than 30 days tell him thats what you are offering to give yourselves time to process everything and get clarity for yourselves. He may just be in a period of uncertainty about moving to the next level. Since you don't know exactly and he's not clear, you at least leaving that door open. At the end of the 30 days, you meet, discuss and move on finally if that is the outcome.
Author Justme1977 Posted August 4, 2015 Author Posted August 4, 2015 Is it really that weird that my ex bf (we broke up about a month ago) have planed a trip to go away, have one last time together and say "goodbye" for now?
mightycpa Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 Is it really that weird that my ex bf (we broke up about a month ago) have planed a trip to go away, have one last time together and say "goodbye" for now?Not if you're going to **** him like a porn star while you're on your farewell tour. I could understand how that might appeal to him. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 On the surface, yes, it does seem a bit odd. How long were you dating? How and why did you break-up?
pidgeon1010 Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 Why would you agree to this? Seems demeaning and pointless. Mightycpa is right on.
Author Justme1977 Posted August 4, 2015 Author Posted August 4, 2015 We were together for a year. The initial reason was some dumb fight. Now it's because he feels he's needs some space and can't right now. He says he's still in love with me and still loves me. I say if we aren't going to be in a real relationship then we should have no contact.
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