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How to flirt, how do you approach someone you like

down hearted

By down hearted
in General Relationship Discussion

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down hearted Established Member

down hearted

Posted
Posted

Seriously, last time i was single i was a 17 year old in high school, now i am 27 and feel like i am not very good at it and don't know even how to start besides from small questions and small talk :o

 

When you find someone interesting and want to approach them how do you start off? I feel guys are more of the approachers and we as women are the aproachee but at the end is just one big game lol

Im just so insecure, honestly.

anyway, there is this guy at work, he seems rather nice, we have had small talk here and there just very basic small talk about his school goals, my school goals, how long have you been working here etc.. just the usual small talk-like conversation when there is a slow shift at work. I don't want to date the guy or anything, but just would be nice to become friends and take it from there. His overall personality is just really attractive to me, the way he behaves and communicates with others he is really sweet. He approaches me here and there mid shift to just say hi but nothing major to be taken out of context.

 

Anyway, i am actually barely going to show my face at work after today from now on, and i am probably not going to see him since i decided to go per-diem due to school been so demanding at the moment, so i will probably work very few days, like after today i don't go back to work until the last week of august, for a day and then not again on to september and so on.

 

I wish before i leave to this new crazy work schedule how can i find a way to keep in touch? I don't have FB or anything just IG, but i feel asking about anything makes me seem creepy like lol how would you approach it?? Do i ask to see if he has an IG, i feel like thats such the norm now adays lol idk!

 

from a guys perspective how would you like to be approached?

 

Ladies how do you approach someone you like?

guild11 Established Member

guild11

Posted
Posted

EI dont think you can generalize the approach both for men and women, all I know is that when you flirt you are basically in the same "head" with that person,

You have to get on the same wave and do it in the right moment.

  • Like 2
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Let him know you're about to get busy and not be around and just leave the ball in his court. If he wants to keep in touch, he'll get your number.

  • Like 1
Palmeiras Member

Palmeiras

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm not a big believer in approaching; I prefer to let connections develop more gradually and naturally. That being said, if time is short, sometimes one has no choice but to approach.

 

I can't tell you exactly how to do it, but as a guy, I can describe for you a couple of things that I definitely do NOT like:

 

1. If a woman approaches me without having some kind of idea of our common ground, whatever it may be, I will stonewall her. There is nothing more off-putting than someone who approaches out of the blue with no motive beyond "Gosh, I think you're kinda cute."

 

2. If a woman is coy with me (say, she pretends to not really know anything about me when I know that she must know something, even as she chats me up), I will thwart the approach. On the other hand, if a woman doesn't waste my time and/or insult my intelligence (perhaps with a plaintive "Look, I fancy you a bit, and we have some overlap, so we should stay in touch"), I will usually at least give her a look and a chance. Confidence and honesty is attractive.

Edited by Palmeiras
craw Established Member

craw

Posted
Posted

Not a good idea to pursue someone at work. It can become very awkward quickly.

regine_phalange Established Member

regine_phalange

Posted
Posted

I'm a terrible flirt as well. :p

It's more possible for me to tease someone I like than flirt with them.

 

Since you haven't talked much and you haven't built the comfort up, let him know that you won't be there as often at first. If he seems to be "sad" about it then you can tell him "this is my number so we can keep in touch". If he seems nonchalant don't say anything.

  • Like 1
PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

Posted
Posted

I prefer to know someone before I approach them, or at least someone who knows them (mutual friend, a friend's relative, etc.) - I approached my BF as we were both attending a mutual friend's party. I'd clocked him the second I walked in and went straight to him a second later without much thought and asked him how long he'd known our mutual friend for, etc. We didn't leave each other's side after that :).

 

 

I have cold approached strangers before on a few occasions - I remember once in a coffee shop, I pretended the empty seat at his table was the only free one and asked if I could use it. Not entirely true but he didn't mind :). Ensued an hour-long discussion on the benefits of fishing (!!) and a few weeks of very pleasant dating, though the fishing convo should have been an indicator that we didn't have a lot in common.

 

 

So no real tips or a strategy but what worked (very well) for me: instinct, spontaneity and a good dose of confidence :).

  • Like 1
joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted

If you are not going to be working with him anymore, I don't see any harm in you just saying Hey I'm not going to be here much anymore, but if you fancy catching up sometime here is my number.

If he likes you and is single he will call.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

Back when I was single if I saw somebody I liked, I simply smiled, said hello & picked something about the situation that we could talk about. For example, I was in PA one time & saw a cute guy wearing a Mets shirt. I made a comment about the Yankees. It was an ice breaker.

  • Like 1
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down hearted Established Member

down hearted

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks everyone for the great comments we have minor conversations and small talk here and there and before my last day of work before the big break he came around to the area that i work to get something work related we were asigned different areas at work that day so we didnt really interact much but he was very nice and i told him how he won't see me for a while and to not miss me so much jokingly since we joke around with little things and he said i will! And asked me if i was excited to go on break i told him not really since is not really vacation and then he was called to do something and for me as well work got busy and didnt see him again when my shift was over i just left home. am kinda disappointed hes really nice and we interact well with each other the few times we worked together. For some reason i really like his personality and he seems easy to talk to. I was hoping to gain a new friend but only time will tell.

 

I dont know when i will see him again but i just dont want to seem desperate either.

im so bad at this whole liking someone thing lol

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted

I talk with them for maybe 10 minutes. If she sounds smart then i ask her out for dinner to chat more. I have around a 33% hit rate.

craw Established Member

craw

Posted
Posted

Sometimes I've been asked out on a date and I had no idea.

 

Sad

  • Like 1
danmillar Established Member

danmillar

Posted
Posted
Seriously, last time i was single i was a 17 year old in high school, now i am 27 and feel like i am not very good at it and don't know even how to start besides from small questions and small talk :o

 

When you find someone interesting and want to approach them how do you start off? I feel guys are more of the approachers and we as women are the aproachee but at the end is just one big game lol

Im just so insecure, honestly.

anyway, there is this guy at work, he seems rather nice, we have had small talk here and there just very basic small talk about his school goals, my school goals, how long have you been working here etc.. just the usual small talk-like conversation when there is a slow shift at work. I don't want to date the guy or anything, but just would be nice to become friends and take it from there. His overall personality is just really attractive to me, the way he behaves and communicates with others he is really sweet. He approaches me here and there mid shift to just say hi but nothing major to be taken out of context.

 

Anyway, i am actually barely going to show my face at work after today from now on, and i am probably not going to see him since i decided to go per-diem due to school been so demanding at the moment, so i will probably work very few days, like after today i don't go back to work until the last week of august, for a day and then not again on to september and so on.

 

I wish before i leave to this new crazy work schedule how can i find a way to keep in touch? I don't have FB or anything just IG, but i feel asking about anything makes me seem creepy like lol how would you approach it?? Do i ask to see if he has an IG, i feel like thats such the norm now adays lol idk!

 

from a guys perspective how would you like to be approached?

 

Ladies how do you approach someone you like?

 

You're taking the simplest thing in the world and making it out to be as complicated as designing the space shuttle.

 

TALK TO HIM. If you can't talk to him, message him.

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