krista28 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 So id been talking to this guy on tinder for awhile now. We ended up going on some dates and I fell like head over heels. He said he did too...he lives an hour away. So I went up to visit him....and then again because of a work thing but I kept asking about him coming to see me. He kept saying his car was screwed up and he was going to fix it. Thing is I finally got fed up he was supposed to visit me twice already and never did andthen he said he was hgoing to try to come down to see me. I even offered to drive up today because I wanted to see him andhis car was ficked up. He said he was busy till six. .. then I said forget it I won't come and don't bother coming to see me. I am just so hurt he said whatever let me know if you change you r mind...if he cares hell be back right.
Rewan Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 In all honesty, an hour isn't that far apart.. I'm certain, at the least, there could have been some way to get together via public transit. :S This makes me curious how long you've both been chatting and whether or not this option was considered. At the same time, I believe that he won't be back. From what you told him, it would appear to anyone on the receiving end of it, no offense, like your mind is made up.. :S I know that if I had been spoken to like that that I would keep my respectful distance. So, if you're serious about wanting to be with him, then I believe the ball is still in your court.. But he doesn't necessarily have to accept you coming back. However, if you two do rekindle things and keep trying to date him, I will suggest to be careful.. Keep your comfort zone in mind in this situation. If it's been over a month, and he hasn't made an effort to meet at all (whether it be you driving to him or him driving to you/riding public transportation), then I would express these feelings to him. Make it clear that you feel like this is one-sided and give him an opportunity to work through it with you. No offense because I don't believe this is how you intended to come across, but you could have been construed as giving him an ultimatum before. Those, from my experience, are not usually fair because it offers the opposite party no chance for their side to be considered. It may be hard to read here, emotionally, but this is just what I view this situation to be.. :S I hope it helps, best of luck.
brokengirl85 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Yes, if he's interested, he'll come. For now, forget about him
joseb Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 . He said he was busy till six. .. then I said forget it I won't come and don't bother coming to see me. I am just so hurt he said whatever let me know if you change you r mind...if he cares hell be back right. If I really had had car issues and got this response, even if I liked the girl I would probably keep my distance too. He said let him know if you change your mind. To me, that means the ball is in your court.
angel.eyes Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 At the outset, he avoided coming because he wasn't really interested. If you showed up on his doorstep like a gift, he didn't kick you to the curb, but he wasn't that interested that he would put in any effort...even before your disagreement. Guys who are interested will make an effort at least occasionally. A guy coming to see you for a date is pretty standard. This guy never did. The non-functioning car is a red herring. He's somehow managing to get around, get to work, run his errands, hang with his friends, and otherwise live his life despite his car troubles. Public transportation, taxis, rental cars, borrowing a friend's car, bumming a ride? Who knows? He's getting around somehow when he wants to. Your frustration was justified. Don't back pedal and apologize. Let this one go.
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