PoetAndersen Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 (edited) Hi everyone. I'll try and make a long story short. This occurred between May 2014-jan15) About a year ago I met a great girl on a night out, we hit it off really well. I was 28 at the time and she was 22. I didn't really initiate contact with her much for around a month after meeting as I had only just come out of a 4 year relationship and I thought she was quite young. Anyways we eventually got talking more and going on dates etc and things were great, a few months down the line we ended up being together in a relationship, to which pretty soon after she told me she loved me. I think we were in an act of lust rather than love but still it felt great. I ended up going on holiday with her and a few trips and we planned to split Christmas between our families (whom we both got along with great) for her birthday I booked a holiday for us to go to Switzerland for a few days which she was really excited for. She noticed I had a mole on my arm and advised me to get it checked asap, in which I did.....Fast forward to a Few weeks later (her birthday and Christmas time) things seemed just as good, no red flags or anything. Had a great night out for her birthday with her friends etc and she even told my parents just how excited she was to spend part of Christmas Day with them. This very same day a couple of hours later, out of no where she decided to call it quits, this completely hit me like a tonne of bricks as there was no signs or even talk of this. The holiday was wasted and Christmas wasn't spent together in any way shape or form! I tried to talk to her about things but she purely would not have any of it and I was left to swallow a huge bitter pill. Not only did this happen but I also found out that I had skin cancer in the same week as her leaving. I really felt like I was at the lowest point of my life. I ended up going to the Drs several times a week to chat and try and get my head around everything that was happening to me. The dr was great, I felt I could tell him anything. He could see I was still struggling a month or two later in which he prescribed anti depressants and an appointment with a therapist a couple of months down the line - in which I didn't attend because this new girls masked the pain. I went on the anti depressants for a while and also tried picking myself up and going to the gym and a dating site....to which a new and current situation has now arisen. (Current problems January - present) A couple of months after all this happening I decided to join a dating site to which I found an amazing girl with the most gorgeous smile I had seen. We were chatting for a week or so before meeting up. From the moment I met this girl I felt a connection, it was as easy talking to her like it was my true friends. (I don't have many) we continued talking and meeting up for months after this first date, it really did help me to get over the shock of everything that happened, or so I thought. I think it masked it all if im honest. Anyway we became friends with benefits as we both knew she was going away for summer to an all girls summer camp. She kept saying if she wasn't going away I would be her bf and just how much she liked me etc and that we would possibly be together when she was back. within these months we were pretty much more than friends with benefits as we were seeing each other in different ways, going places, sex, spending time with each other, talking etc and it was amazing. This girl didn't know of my ex nor the Drs/anti depressants) In fact she was the reason I chose to stop taking them because she made me Feel good again. As a friend and also liking her we made some great memories in a short time and we made each other feel good. I helped her with her revision, took her away for a weekend, and even went to London with her to get her visa. She lived 40 miles away so I commuted a lot to pick her up etc. Within this time she was revising for a Mathis test which would get her in to university for a year to finish a teachers qualification, unfortunately she failed this and her world got turned upside down quite bad. To the point where she got distant from me (as I got close to her) I know I have pushed her away slightly as I tried to get certainty that things would be okay when she was back, in which she just got further distant from me. Great! I'm back to original square one but with a different girl, I feel like she is as much to blame as me for stringing me along for a few months before she went. She won't even reply back to me now. She left for the U.S. 6 weeks ago in which I have had little contact with her. I sent her a few of her favourite snacks to camp as she told me the food wasn't so good (sorry Americans she couldn't even send me a txt to say she had received it, I had to feel like a Pratt and ask her. Roll on to today and I sent her a message, but again no reply. I really am living in hope for when she returns but I know deep down I can't bring myself to delete Facebook or anything else but it's really having an effect on me again. To the point of not eating and wanting to give up. I feel completely used and bitter because she kept saying we'd be more and her liking me more than just Fwb. This time I really don't know how to pick myself up as I cannot date. I just struggle with everything day to day. From waking up to going to sleep my thoughts constantly revolve around this. I have tried to make as much sense as I could from a lot of information. There's bits I haven't included but tried to give you a general gist of things. Apologies for the long thread that WAS meant to be short! Thanks Edited July 18, 2015 by PoetAndersen
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