Amas5750 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I literally have been on the verge of tears all day. Literally at any minute I could burst into tears. I feel so alone. Everyone else in my life is partnered. I am good looking and nice. How come men have treated me like **** or abandoned me? I don't even want to be around my family. Everyone is so happy I usually want to be around my family. I feel like I am sick of existing.how did my life get this low? What did I do to deserve this? I have never felt so desolate and hopeless Everyone has partners and mortgages and I just got divorced I'm so confused I'm so desperately depressed I just want to be in a room so I can finally cry I'm not going to kill myself. I don't know how to keep withstanding the shocking loneliness and confusion about why men have abandoned me. I'm really hurting tonight. Please help me
Honey565 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Hey there...i am not maybe the right person to help you but i will try. It is completely normal to feel awful after divorce and emotional loss. You feel as the most unhappy person in the world while you see everybody else being happy. But that is just your distorted perception in the moment. Life is full of ups and downs, nobody is always happy...and there is good news, nobody is always unhappy either. You must have courage to face bad moments of life, just like you can enjoy good moments. I understand you because i went through awful break-up and years have passed. Just take it easy. Allow yourself to feel sad, depressed, grieve...live your feelings. Eventually they will go away, because nothing lasts forever. Just accept this moment as it is. Think about people going through worse things in life, losing children, being ill, dying...Try to be happy with small things, do things that make you happy...Don't pretend happiness. You will see that you will be better. 1
OldSoul86 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 It sounds like you're basing your happiness on being partnered with someone. That isn't healthy - you need to be a complete and happy person by yourself before you can attract a healthy partner. Also, stop looking at what you don't have in your life, and focus on what you do have. Reframing what is going on in your life can help, and I'd recommend it. 3
fireflywy Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 If you read this, and any time you feel lonely or down, I want you to go look into a mirror at yourself. Give yourself two minutes of quiet looking and when that two minutes is up, I want you to say "Everything is going to be okay." Its going to be okay. It really is. There is an ebb and flow to life and we all experience it. Even those people who appear to be happy and with someone else have their struggles. The person you envy today who appears to have everything may be the very person who loses it tomorrow when the tide ebbs. Right now you are down but something wonderful is coming. Everything is going to be okay. 1
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I put this together for myself and it helped: 1. Recognise that you're still in the crisis phase - you are very hurt, but the intensity of your feelings will reduce. 2. Don't suppress your feelings, or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling - that never helps. 3. Externalise your feelings by writing them down, talking to a trustworthy person, or using any other mode of expression that feels right. 4. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will have a good life without this person. 5. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will love again. 6. Take care of your body: Eat enough and eat healthily. Drink enough water. Thats 1.5 litres a day for a female. Get a bit more rest than you think you need. If you can't sleep, just lie down. Do some easy exercise - nothing too strenuous. If you feel physically unwell, go to see your doctor. 7. Do not allow yourself to become socially isolated or withdrawn. 8. Establish Total No Contact with your ex. No contact directly, indirectly, or by social media. 9. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do. 10. Do not use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate. 11. Post here as often as you want to. Take care.
NopeNah Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Being "Ok"(If there is such a thing?),comes from you and you alone. No one person can complete you and make you "OK", that's on you to do. Once you achieve "self happiness", you'll see the world differently. I use to think I needed people to make me happy..LAME! Only I can do that.
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