BBAKER Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Recently started NC again with an ex and it's absolutely killing me. I'm hurting so much and my close friends have tried their best to be brutally honest and have told me "he didnt care and he doesn't care now, sorry to say". Obviously they are trying to make me get over him, but those words hurt so much. My ex and i met 9 months ago in October, my first love, but i soon found out he had just come out of an engagement that ended in September, and had lasted for about a year. He and his fiance ended badly, and in January my ex found out his ex fiance had a new partner. I watched it hurt him, despite him writing very harsh things on twitter and facebook about his ex, convincing people he's so much better off alone, and the relationship was terrible. I know that's a lie, because if you're truly over someone and not hurting, you don't have to go to those lengths to prove it. It killed him seeing his ex fiance happy with someone else. Meanwhile i, falling deeply in love with him, had to fight to convince him i was better, and could give him the world etc...basically i was second best. Anyway in May my ex (who suffers with anxiety aswell) had yet another breakdown over his ex fiance and it ripped me in two because i knew he just couldn't get over his ex, and i unfortunately wasn't good enough, despite him convincing me i was. I ended it, he didnt seem bothered at all and said he didnt know how he felt. He did agree he still had feelings for his ex fiance. After some back and forth and hooking up just as friends, and then 3 weeks of NC i poured my heart out to him but he still didnt feel anything for me anymore. We said our goodbyes, and now i'm here, in tears and hurting so badly because the love of my life doesn't love me. My question is, do you think he ever cared for me? Or was i just a naiive rebound who got used as a distraction? His ability to just let us end shocked me, and all of his love he once showed me just dissapeared. He didn't fight at all for us. Will he ever see how good i am? Or as he has done in the past, just move on to a new person? I've so many questions and i'm so hurt and confused. Thankyou
Gus Grimly Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I'm sure he had love for you, but not the kind you deserved. There's no way in that short amount of time he could be over his Ex. You had enough cause to leave him by his reaction when he learned his Ex found someone new. If he was over her, he would have heard the news, shrugged, then looked at you and smiled. Maybe even say "I'm glad she found someone". Sounds like you got mixed up in a pure Rebound situation. I'm really sorry. That's so unfair to you. I bet you're 100x more awesome than his Ex. He doesn't deserve you, don't waste another minute of your life on this guy.
darkmoon Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 (edited) do not take it personally if he had not got over the ex, i think he wanted to but was out of his depth and tbh, pretty immature to emote so much, a grown man does not act like that, leaving harsh words on-line Edited July 18, 2015 by darkmoon
casey.lives Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 you're the only one who knows. your heart and the surrounding evidence reveal the truth. sometime we can experience feelings like waves.. they can be strong but they stay on the top..and they don't actually go deep. that may have been the case :/
Author BBAKER Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 I'm sure he had love for you, but not the kind you deserved. There's no way in that short amount of time he could be over his Ex. You had enough cause to leave him by his reaction when he learned his Ex found someone new. If he was over her, he would have heard the news, shrugged, then looked at you and smiled. Maybe even say "I'm glad she found someone". Sounds like you got mixed up in a pure Rebound situation. I'm really sorry. That's so unfair to you. I bet you're 100x more awesome than his Ex. He doesn't deserve you, don't waste another minute of your life on this guy. Thankyou for your reply that means a lot. I'm just sickened imagining him with someone else. It's driving me insane knowing when he is over his ex, whenever that may be, he won't realise that i'll still be here, grieving and wanting to still give him everything. NC is going well and I know I need to give it time, and a month at least, but i'm just struggling to cope with these emotions and hate and guilt and depression. All of them really!
Gus Grimly Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 It's driving me insane knowing when he is over his ex, whenever that may be, he won't realise that i'll still be here, grieving and wanting to still give him everything. Ugh, that's so messed up. I feel really bad for you, I do. I wish there were something I could say to make it better, to make you feel whole again. Unfortunately, I'm grieving for my Ex as well, so I'm in no position to be the strong one here. All I can offer you is a sympathetic ear. I do hope you'll be okay, shoot, I hope that I'll be okay too! Just stick to your guns and don't break NC. It might be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but you'll come out renewed.
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