adrian77 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 She has been a good friend for years but she is going our after work getting drunk and slept with 1 coworker (and went down on another 2) in her car. I think it's kind of slutty but our other friend says she is just having a good time? Plus she is very overweight and not attractive in the face....these men have attractive wives (from pics I've seen on FB) why would they do this? She is 40 and that are also around that age. I worry she will lose her job but she is pretty high up so I'm hoping that wouldn't happen.
casey.lives Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 some people get stuck having immature ideas of what "fun" is.. intorduce her to different kinds of fun.. but only do as much as you can, and as much possible so long it doesn't corrupt you. By that i mean, a little bit. 40 is pretty hard to help.
Arieswoman Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 adrian77, Your friend's sexual exploits are non of your business unless it personally affects you. I had a friend years ago who behaved like this. Her behaviour got known and when we went out in a group guys flocked around hoping for some of her "favours". The problem was that the guys thought the rest of us girls were also of the same inclination and I was sick of the unwanted attention. I asked her to tone it down. She didn't and we parted company. Also she ended up with a STD and shared it around a bit, so she wasn't quite so popular after that. 3
candie13 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 sleeping around is much easier than starting to work out and keeping a diet. She's spiraling down fast, there's no way in hell it won't crush and burn, just a matter of time. if you're a friend, I'd get her to try counseling. if she's not that close, I'd simply put a lot of distance. People like that have something toxic, that behavior is quite addictive because it gives her something she obviously craves badly: attention and company, with little to no efforts from her part. 40 is not that late to fck up her life... I can't have friends who inflict such self destructive behavior on themselves. Anyway, your thing to sort out.
Dreamworld Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I knew a woman like your friend. on the surface she was your pretty girl next door, sweet as pie, avid church goer. turned out she was sleeping with six different married guys at the same time. We figured she needed constant validation and attention and approval and she got that high from using her sexuality. seemed married guys were perfect because she could get all that without the need to get too close or put in the effort needed for a proper committed relationship. and the married guys who wanted no strings attached sex outside the marriage? she was the perfect candidate. why would they do this? why would a woman do this? Because both sides are broken inside somewhere. 1
Author adrian77 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 She says she is a little worried because he didn't pull out (no condom) etc....that I'd the 4th guy this year she slept with without any protection.
phineas Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 She says she is a little worried because he didn't pull out (no condom) etc....that I'd the 4th guy this year she slept with without any protection. You say she is unattractive. I say you can't push a rope. stop slut shaming. hell, you almost sound jealous. If you don't like her behavior stop talking to her. I used to hang out with guys who were players & used their good looks to hit it & quit it. I stopped hanging with them because their rep was ruining mine. 2
Author adrian77 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 She's 100 lbs overweight. Spaces in all her teeth and thin hair. No I'm not jealous I'm worried.
Author adrian77 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Also getting **** faced and sleeping with married coworkers in your car (or performing oral on them which go me is even worse) I think most people would agree is slutty.
stillafool Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 She says she is a little worried because he didn't pull out (no condom) etc....that I'd the 4th guy this year she slept with without any protection. So you are sleeping with her too? Okay, the woman has a high sex drive coupled with low self esteem. Don't also take advantage of her like the other co workers. You said yourself she is fat and doesn't have a cute face so why do you want to have sex with her? 2
babycakees Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 So you are sleeping with her too? Okay, the woman has a high sex drive coupled with low self esteem. Don't also take advantage of her like the other co workers. You said yourself she is fat and doesn't have a cute face so why do you want to have sex with her? Have to agree with this. Sounds like a bit of jealousy. I can't believe all these people are working together and sleeping together. 1
stillafool Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Have to agree with this. Sounds like a bit of jealousy. I can't believe all these people are working together and sleeping together. I know. When does work start? 1
kendahke Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 She has been a good friend for years but she is going our after work getting drunk and slept with 1 coworker (and went down on another 2) in her car. I think it's kind of slutty but our other friend says she is just having a good time? Plus she is very overweight and not attractive in the face....these men have attractive wives (from pics I've seen on FB) why would they do this? She is 40 and that are also around that age. I worry she will lose her job but she is pretty high up so I'm hoping that wouldn't happen. Unless you are going to out her to the company to get her fired and/or the wives involved, you should stay out of it. What you think about how she looks or how she acts really is non sequitur as long as your means of supporting yourself isn't in jeopardy. These men do it because they want to do it. Plain and simple. She's not forcing any of them to do anything they don't want to do. 1
babycakees Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I know. When does work start? How do they even get any work done? 1
Author adrian77 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 What the hell are you talking about? I'm not male. I'm a married female. She is my friend since HS and she openly tells me about this as well as others. We are worried about her job and diseases she might catch.
babycakees Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 What the hell are you talking about? I'm not male. I'm a married female. She is my friend since HS and she openly tells me about this as well as others. We are worried about her job and diseases she might catch. well, I am referring to this quote you made: She says she is a little worried because he didn't pull out (no condom) etc....that I'd the 4th guy this year she slept with without any protection. 1
Arieswoman Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 adrian77, She 40 years old ffs, she's not a child. If she doesn't know that her behaviour is likely to land her in hot water she must be a bit thick. Why on earth are you friends with someone who sounds like she's a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic? 2
No Limit Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Well, great for your friend, I guess? I can only add to what others have already written - distance yourself if others begin to think you are just like her. 1
autumnnight Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 adrian77, Your friend's sexual exploits are non of your business unless it personally affects you. I had a friend years ago who behaved like this. Her behaviour got known and when we went out in a group guys flocked around hoping for some of her "favours". The problem was that the guys thought the rest of us girls were also of the same inclination and I was sick of the unwanted attention. I asked her to tone it down. She didn't and we parted company. Also she ended up with a STD and shared it around a bit, so she wasn't quite so popular after that. This is one reason I think Arieswoman is very wise. I would distance myself from this unhealthy friendship.
mortensorchid Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 That's sad. Her mental health is in a bad place right now. Unfortunately there is little you can do about this. Have a "friendly observation" and you will risk getting your head chewed off. There's not much you can do about it. So you have to either accept it and carry on, or you decide to close the book on your relationship with her. Either way is bad, I know, but this is how people operate. 1
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