yxalitis Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I had already decided enough was enough, and to pull out of OLD for a few months. But I had one number in my phone left over from Whats' App, and I had called it accidentally on that fateful night: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/538207-so-i-went-bowling-what-night And as we got along so well, chatted a bit, exchanged texts, and organised a date on Friday. IN fact, it was the Thursday when she texted me "OK, pick me up from my place, say 7:00" and her address. I tell you that so you know the trust and rapport we had established, we had spoken for hours on the phone... SO Friday comes along...as it does... Just as I'm finished getting ready, she texts me: "Hi, I don't think we are suitable, I will cancel tonight" Just out of the blue. OK, so EVERYONE here would immediately think..oh well, tough luck dude, I hope you went and saw a movie or something... That's what this forum would have advised... Instead I rang her. I asked her what made her change her mind... She said that I had dated a lot of Asian girls (I told her about 3 somewhat briefly) and that since I always broke up with them, I must be culturally incompatible. I explained that the reasons for the break up where nothing to do with that, that one had had an affair even! She then said that when a girl has an affair it's because she isn't satisfied in the relationship, so that must be because of this incompatibility... I could tell she was fishing for reasons... I told her that we had already made plans, gotten ready, let's still have that dinner, and if she still has doubts, well, we'll have had a nice dinner. She agrees, then says..."Thanks, I guess I'm just nervous" OK, see, Don't just give up because...rules...ir whatever... We had a great night, got along famously, I totally put her mind at rest about Asian culture, as I told her she mus be from the Guangdong province, as she spoke Cantonese, and talked about the languages...how I ate all the hot Asian food to everyone's amazement...etc We went back to her house and talked some more, she is a little shy, and when we talked about past relationships, she mentioned that the last guy left for a Filipino, and that made her feel worthless (Chinese tend to look down on southern Asians), she even teared up a bit...guess these memories came flooding back. Seeing her again?...sure...! 1
DaisyBug Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Woohoo! Glad you turned this one into a success! Aside from having a good time together and wanting another date, did you feel any sparks?? 1
IronZ Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I like your tenacity. I had a girl I thought I was getting along with really well cancel on me a week ago and I tried getting more details out of her but it didn't work out like in your situation. I think you made the right move calling her. I should do that next time an out of the blue cancelation happens.
Author yxalitis Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Why are you discussing exes.? When you talk for hours, lots of things get discussed...It came about when she asked how I knew so much about Asian culture.. I'm not the sort of guy to umm,and aah, and avoid the topic.
Author yxalitis Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Woohoo! Glad you turned this one into a success! Aside from having a good time together and wanting another date, did you feel any sparks?? Yeah, I did, I can see a beautiful soul, that just wants to find a life partner...
Popsicle Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Yeah, I'd definitely rather hear a guy say that his ex dumped or rejected him rather than he dumped her.
Author yxalitis Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Yeah, I'd definitely rather hear a guy say that his ex dumped or rejected him rather than he dumped her. ...my sarcasm detector just blew a fuse...
S_A Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Yeah, I'd definitely rather hear a guy say that his ex dumped or rejected him rather than he dumped her. I used to say I got dumped even when I was the one that did the dumping. 1
Popsicle Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 ...my sarcasm detector just blew a fuse... No sarcasm.
babycakees Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Yeah, I'd definitely rather hear a guy say that his ex dumped or rejected him rather than he dumped her. It certainly is better than certain guys I've gone out with that claimed all their exes were psycho.
Popsicle Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 It certainly is better than certain guys I've gone out with that claimed all their exes were psycho. But did they initiate the breaking up with those women?
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Is it possible that maybe you're interested in, and only in the fact that she is Asian? I mean I lost my virginity to a Japanese girl, but you're dating history seems like you seek out only Asians. We all have preferences, but I would be careful about how you tell them. You want to make sure you are conveying that you are interested in them, not where they were born.
ManyDissapoint Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 (edited) Yeah, I'd definitely rather hear a guy say that his ex dumped or rejected him rather than he dumped her. How you doin'? My name's Damaged By a String of Heartless Women. What's yours? Edited July 18, 2015 by ManyDissapoint A word
IronZ Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I always think the best solution to that kind of topic is to say the relationship just kind of ended. Things weren't where they should have been and it didn't go anywhere. This way you don't put all the fault on the other person and seem like you're damaged, and you also don't seem like you're the heartless one that breaks people's hearts.
DaisyBug Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 Yeah, I did, I can see a beautiful soul, that just wants to find a life partner... Great! May you have better luck this time!!
Candygirljane Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 When you talk for hours, lots of things get discussed...It came about when she asked how I knew so much about Asian culture.. I'm not the sort of guy to umm,and aah, and avoid the topic. I always avoided the conversations about the ethnicity culture. Cuz I thought that would be embarrassing if he has no idea about my culture or history :/
Author yxalitis Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 I always think the best solution to that kind of topic is to say the relationship just kind of ended. Things weren't where they should have been and it didn't go anywhere. This way you don't put all the fault on the other person and seem like you're damaged, and you also don't seem like you're the heartless one that breaks people's hearts. Until they ask for details...
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