Kevin_D Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Hi again. I've been a good boy. All friends and relatives are BLOCKED on social media. I'm working out almost every day. When I feel sad, I try to be creative and write some songs. And all my friends know that I don't want any information about my ex. However, my friend found out something so bizarre today that he told me anyway. My exes are friends on Facebook! Ex #1: Dated for almost 7 years Ex #2: Dated for 8 months (may be considered a rebound) First off: Yes, I know it was ****ty of my friend to give me this information. But the damage is already done. Seriously, this really freaks me out. WHY? What is the purpose of this?! They had never met. They have no common friends. No connection whatsoever. I know the standard answer here is "Don't over-analyze, drop it.", but I've got a really bad feeling about this. It took me over a year to realise it, but Ex #1 has clear issuses compulsive lying. She's extremely manipulative and have narcissistic tendensies. To be honest, she scares the hell out of me. I want nothing to do with this woman. But it's like feels like I'm being followed. Ex #2 said that she suspected that I flirted with other women. Why would she say that? I was extremely loyal and she was basically the only woman I talked to. Is is possible that Ex #1 contacted her and lied about me contacting her? How can I move on, if I have this constant feeling that Ex #1 is spying on me, and would do pretty much anything to ruin my life even more? She won. She dumped me. She got the guy she wanted. Why can't she let me be?
drallafi Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Ahm, forgive me but if they're both exes then what does it matter? 3
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 If they want to chatter they will. As previously asked: What does it matter? 1
mavendark Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Just ignore it, it's not like you're ever going to get back together with any of them. You're thinking too much! 1
quattrob Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Why would you even care, they're your exes.. waste of energy and time in my opinion. Who cares what they think or do. Grow up man. 1
Gus Grimly Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I don't think there's any big conspiracy going with you in the middle of it. I've had people I don't even know, but share many mutual friends, add me to FB. Could be one of those deals. Ex 1 adds Ex 2 as friend. Ex 2 is like "Uh .. what the ... hey isn't that ... ah, who cares?" /clicks accept. But yeah I understand why you might be alarmed. That's definitely not something you hear about everyday. 2
wizer Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 They're friends on FB because they have a common enemy. 4
Simon Phoenix Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Sorry to rain on your pity party dude, but this really does not matter. You aren't dating either one of them anymore, this is just you getting worked up for the sake of getting worked up. Now if one of them had gotten in touch with a woman you were currently dating, that'd be different, but you aren't dating either one of these women. So let it be. 2
Author Kevin_D Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Sorry to rain on your pity party dude, but this really does not matter. You aren't dating either one of them anymore, this is just you getting worked up for the sake of getting worked up. Now if one of them had gotten in touch with a woman you were currently dating, that'd be different, but you aren't dating either one of these women. So let it be. You don't seem to understand. I'm scared. This freaks me out, simply because I know that Ex #1 has turned into a manipulative psycho. How can I be sure that Ex #1 didn't contact Ex #2 before we split? Things went downhill rather quickly. Ex #1 has frequently tried to contact me friends and relatives and played the nice, caring girl. A childhood friend ran into her, and immediately she started talking about how sad it was that I was so angry nowadays and didn't want to have any contact with her. It's so easy to say "Just ignore it", but this charming, master manipulator has the capacity to fool almost anyone. She looks like a model and has better acting skills than most professional actors. It freaks me out that apparently she's running around in the shadows and messes with my life. I feel so powerless. Without a doubt, she'd be able to convince almost anyone that I hit her. Or that she actually wanted to make things work, but that I was too childish. She's like a character from a scary movie or a nightmare... She won, she got everything she wanted... why can't she just leave me alone? What kind of a sick person would try to befriend my other exes?
drallafi Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I guess I could see why you might be a little weirded out but in the grand scheme of things, so what? So they're talking. They probably spent a day or two laughing at your dick, and that's probably the extent of it. I doubt they're plotting some master plan to get you. 1
Satu Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 People talk to whoever they want to, and they say what they want to say. What can't be controlled has to be accepted. 2
Holmes85 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Kevin, You are focusing on the negative a lot, all your thoughts are rushing to what if she could do this & that, what if she tells this & that (it's natural though), but you see there's a flip side of the coin as well, which I think is most likely what's happening here. The first thing is, who added who, was it the ex of 7 years? Or your Ex of 8 Months? It doesn't matter who added who, here's the bottom line, one of them (or both) are willing to dig up information on you by exchanging messages....you know what this tells me...one of them (or both) do still have you on their mind. Lets for a moment pretend that your ex of 7 years is overdoing it and spreading false information about you, but here's the thing, lies have no legs, you can't build anything on lies, it eventually crumbles. If one of them is bad mouthing about you, the chances are the other one (doesn't matter which one) would compare it to the data she already has and see through the bull, second if both are badmouthing about you, it's perfect, the more they exchange stuff about you, the more you would be on their mind. If she's spreading it's shame that we can't be friends and all that, the chances are all of her friends and yours know EXACTLY that why aren't you friends with her. They must have to be really daft to don't know what happened between you two, the chances are highly likely that they do know what kind of a person your Ex is. And here's the rub, your Ex'es maybe pretending to be friends with each other, the chances are highly likely that they aren't, one is just using other for some information, they are never going to be more than platonic friends, rest assured nothing is going to happen. If she causes a ruckus about you, the chances are highly likely that she misses you and wants some sort of a response out of you, any for that matter, in the end it's up to you if you chose to ignore it or be an active participant in the drama. You are gonna look like pure Gold (to them) once you stand by the things you believe in and don't get downgraded to the level they are operating in, the chances are both of them are going to look at you in a different light and possibly miss giving up on you, don't be surprised if you get to hear something from then again (and if not, even better so). Chin up Kevin, you are going to get all your answers in due time, bottom line don't let them get to you and watch the mystery unfold itself without you doing anything. 3
guest569 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 People talk to whoever they want to, and they say what they want to say. What can't be controlled has to be accepted. If your 2nd ex was foolish enough to rely on info from your other ex , well, what can you do? I doubt that is what happened though. If I was with a man whose ex approached me to talk nasty about him i would probably just say thank you and bugger off to her. Or approach the boyfriend if it was that serious an issue.
lollipopspot Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 It's so easy to say "Just ignore it", but this charming, master manipulator has the capacity to fool almost anyone. She looks like a model and has better acting skills than most professional actors. It freaks me out that apparently she's running around in the shadows and messes with my life. A lot of people really don't take info at face value and look at the source, and realize that relationships are complicated. I doubt she is as persuasive as you think she is. I think you really just need to ignore it and move on with your life. I don't think she can do any real damage.
Author Kevin_D Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 Holmes85: You're right. Of course I did some stupid things when I was young and immature, but in overall, I've got a clear conscience. My last ex even contacted me once and said she was angry that I was talking to new women. I guess she expected me to beg her to come back. She explained that SHE would block me from all social media, because she got so upset when other women commented on my pictures. And yet, she was the one who decided that we shouldn't see eachother anymore...! So I guess the situation is actually quite funny. Both of them are incredibly jealous, so their "friendship" will most likely just make THEIR healing process harder. Coming to think of it, I kind of enjoy the idea of them discussing my dick, because the sex with Ex #2 was so great, that Ex #1 would most likely freak out if she heard about it. Thanks! It feels much better now.
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