Indonesia1 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Hello Here's a bit of background: 'm 22 years old and female. I started dating my bf around six months ago- that's when we became exclusive, boyfriend status a month later. We were sleeping with eachother about 7 months ago (i wanted to just start seeing someone because i hadn't since my ex, i was the one who did not want to take things quickly or further initially). However since dating we've had a few hiccups, and ill give you a timeline as to why. Feb: exclusive, i still felt weird about ex, nearly kissed him. Bf was quite keen, we saw eachother 3 ish times a week. March: I started to hit a downward drinking spiral, i argued with my bf when i was drunk all the time. My brother had committed suicide just months before. My boyfriend is diagnosed for the first time in his life with depression. He has a very fragile family situation. April:We nearly broke up, both once me trying to initate then him. Both were more of the heat of the moment. The rocky start made us both insecure. He got placement in hospital quite far away so couldn't come back mid week, he made effort to see me twice every weekend. I was insecure he didnt make effort. In retrospect i realise this is the most a person can see you in a weekend haha! May: Things improved massively. Really started to develop feelings as i felt the relationship was finally 'taking off' June: We had two major fights. My BF had a serious talk with me. Both realise that my drinking issue is serious. he finally confessed the reason he is so sensitive when im drunk and irritable is he had an abusive alcoholic father. I am taking the necessary steps to make this better (for myself) and have been sober other than with friends since. It's our summer holiday and we decide to stay together July: I went to see him for a 5 day birthday weekend. Was an amazing few days. Never felt so comfortable and happy with him in my life. He was so caring and kind. I can see feelngs are developing. I think i'm falling for him. We text pretty much all day and call regularly aswell (this has been since meeting) However: i only felt like things started to work recently, just because of how hung up on myself i was initially. He was then really depressed and in therapy for his own problems. We both didn't know eachother well enough initally what to do how much to be involved. My boyfriend also likes his space a lot, something only now i completely understand. I took his like for his own space (complete contrast to my ex, in such a good way) personally initally. I now like him more for it and a result realise how much i do too! My friends say its obvious how much he likes me. The thing is neither of us say i love you. I'm falling but i'm not there just yet. I read worryingly if a guy isn't in love in the first 6 months its never gonna happen, what is your opinion on that? How would depression fit into that? We also physically can't see eachother as much as we would like (geography) so time together is more restricted, does that affect it? Are all relationships with tentative or rocky beginnings doomed even if theyre for good reason?
Author Indonesia1 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 any comments would be appreciated.
casey.lives Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 in my opinion, a good beginning is jolty. you are two different people getting to know each other and coming together.. if it's a smooth start, chances are you are not in reality and will experience joltiness after the honeymoon wears off. jolty is good..
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