aboucher21 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 So I broke up with my ex 3 and a half months ago mainly because I didn't think we were compatible in the long run. We got along great but I just felt like something was off and we didn't connect on a physical and deeper level. I do have regrets and wish I worked harder to see if we could work on things but I cant go back in the past. I have had a weird experience since the break up. Originally I was good, then I was a mess and wanted her back and I tried talking to her about it and it was obvious that that ship has sailed. She still wants to be friends however. Anyways we went hiking a few weeks ago just to get together after a month or so of NC. It was all fun. Nothing happened and I didn't have any feelings hit me or feel upset or anything pretty much and we simply enjoyed each others company. After that, for whatever reason I felt like I was over her. We haven't talked since and I have been good with that. She rarely crossed my mind for the past few weeks and I have felt great.But the other day I had a dream about her and ever since then I miss her again and it kinda sucks. I keep going through these periods of missing her and wanting her back and it sucks. I was wondering if this is normal and how to deal with it? Just simply NC?
BriNyc82 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 What exactly do you miss about her? It definitely seems normal but you had a feeling you were incompatible which is why you broke it off. That doesn't mean you weren't compatible on some levels. Do you miss her in terms of wanting her back to try again. Or miss her just bc you are lonely?
thespacey1 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Do you miss her only because she's no longer coming after you or do you really miss the essence of her...? 1
Author aboucher21 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 What exactly do you miss about her? It definitely seems normal but you had a feeling you were incompatible which is why you broke it off. That doesn't mean you weren't compatible on some levels. Do you miss her in terms of wanting her back to try again. Or miss her just bc you are lonely? I am still trying to find these answers. I miss a lot about her and the good times we had. I think I just feel awful because she didn't do anything wrong and I look at myself and think I could have done more.
Author aboucher21 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Do you miss her only because she's no longer coming after you or do you really miss the essence of her...? The latter is probably true. I began to regain feelings almost immediately once I realized she was moving on. But then again I can't stop thinking about her and how great she is/was. Makes me think maybe I just needed a break rather than a break up
casey.lives Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 we always miss our exes. it's not unusual... but it's not special, either
Gus Grimly Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Makes me think maybe I just needed a break rather than a break up Cinderella - "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)". It may be a cheesy song, but the message is on point.
Author aboucher21 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Cinderella - "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)". It may be a cheesy song, but the message is on point. Believe me I've said it several times haha 1
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I was happy to be rid of my ex in January because of her issues but I did miss her companionship. Long term there was no way we'd have worked. I was content with the breakup. She now has a new bf...I'm learning to cope with this daily. I guess I still have feelings for her even though I know she's not the right person for me. To be blunt yes your feelings are extremely normal It's been 2 weeks since I found out she had s new bf. Things I've done: NC Deleted her from my life (phone number, text history, social media) Gym, gym, gym These forums are awesome Starting a journal will help you sort out your feelings. Instead of having them swirl in your head you'll put them on paper and be able to read them. If the ship has sailed as you said and now you're having regrets that's a decision you're going to have to live with. Maintain NC, focus on yourself, and try to move on. 1
Morphine Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 I will be hated for this, but... If you are certain that you LOVE her, and i mean LOVE, not veing used to her or feeling lonely, then perhaps you can fight for her? The fact she has a bf means nothing as long as you were relatively happy in ur relationship. You still have to do all that NC and improvement for YOURSELF, but at some point you can restore contact, but ONLY if you are ready to start NEW ralationship.
Author aboucher21 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 I was happy to be rid of my ex in January because of her issues but I did miss her companionship. Long term there was no way we'd have worked. I was content with the breakup. She now has a new bf...I'm learning to cope with this daily. I guess I still have feelings for her even though I know she's not the right person for me. To be blunt yes your feelings are extremely normal It's been 2 weeks since I found out she had s new bf. Things I've done: NC Deleted her from my life (phone number, text history, social media) Gym, gym, gym These forums are awesome Starting a journal will help you sort out your feelings. Instead of having them swirl in your head you'll put them on paper and be able to read them. If the ship has sailed as you said and now you're having regrets that's a decision you're going to have to live with. Maintain NC, focus on yourself, and try to move on. Thank you for sharing. I have definitely grown as a result of this and will be better off in the future which I am glad to say. All I can do is take of myself
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