sunshinegirl Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 So, 3+ months into the breakup of my 6 month relationship, I still feel like he was "it" for me. I am scared that I will always think he's the one that got away, that I'll never meet anyone who fits me as well, that I will never be as happy with anyone else. Will this, too, pass??
Illusion24 Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 Trust me it will pass...Time heals all wounds!! What's done is done...Once you've reached a certain point in the relationship theirs no turning back. I always say the hardest part of moving on is not looking back...I thought I would never find anyone again to love me or share my life with but God has a plan...He always does. Have faith in the person you are and learn from your experiences in life. Whether it's an old boyfriend, friend or family member...they all teach us different things. Don't put yourself down because of this guy, raise your head up and realize you are worth being loved...
ConfusedInOC Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever Trust me it will pass...Time heals all wounds!! What's done is done...Once you've reached a certain point in the relationship theirs no turning back. I always say the hardest part of moving on is not looking back...I thought I would never find anyone again to love me or share my life with but God has a plan...He always does. Have faith in the person you are and learn from your experiences in life. Whether it's an old boyfriend, friend or family member...they all teach us different things. Don't put yourself down because of this guy, raise your head up and realize you are worth being loved... Could not have said it any better myself. God will never give you more strife in your life than you are capable of handling.
Illusion24 Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 With everything that I've been through the past couple of weeks...All I have is my faith that I'm a good person and God has a plan...
Author sunshinegirl Posted May 4, 2005 Author Posted May 4, 2005 Thanks....I think part of what's hard is that it seemed like God brought us together in the first place. So it's been disorienting and a major challenge to my faith to believe God has something better for me. And sometimes I feel like I can't handle this at all, like I'm drowning or something. It's largely through boards like this that I am keeping my head above water...even if it's just barely.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by sunshinegirl Thanks....I think part of what's hard is that it seemed like God brought us together in the first place. So it's been disorienting and a major challenge to my faith to believe God has something better for me. And sometimes I feel like I can't handle this at all, like I'm drowning or something. It's largely through boards like this that I am keeping my head above water...even if it's just barely. Well, I thought my Ex was "it" too and I invested a year in her. She gave me all the warning signs she wasn't into me, wasn't the kind of person I should be with, and would just end up taking me for granted. I should have listened to my intuition...and to God.
Illusion24 Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 You always get a few bad apples before you get a good one...!! That's how you know that good one is good and is meant to be in your life. God brings people in and out of your life because he has to...people need to realize certain things and learn how to appreciate a good thing when you have it. Life brings you lemons...Make lemonade!!!
Naive Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by sunshinegirl So, 3+ months into the breakup of my 6 month relationship, I still feel like he was "it" for me. I am scared that I will always think he's the one that got away, that I'll never meet anyone who fits me as well, that I will never be as happy with anyone else. Will this, too, pass?? You know it's been about 3 years since the man of my dreams and I moved on and did not try. To me he is still "the one that got away" and the "what if' guy. Time has helped me deal with it but it had not taken the thoughts away
outdated Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 Don't look at it as the one that got away. If there's one thing I learned from my breakup it was that even though I thought we were destined for each other in one way (ie marriage) it's clear to me now- though still painful- that she came into my life for reasons more short termed. After the break up I found a new job- I hated my old one, and sadly that was the nail in our relationship coffin that couldn't be undone- I formed a new band, I started creating again, and found that the freedom and respect for myself that I had gained was something that I couldn't have done if she had never given me the strength to do it. I wish sometimes that I had been able to do this before I met her, because I love her and hate that we're not together. Think about the gains, not the losses. What will you do differently in your next relationship? What qualities did he prove to you that you want in a man, and look for those qualities in other people. Think of him as an angel that brought you the grace to change and not the devil that broke your heart. It seems impossible, but it works, and keeps you from being bitter and bringing baggage to your next relationship. If he thought you were the one, then you would be together. Otherwise it's a lopsided relationship and that will never work.
BrotherAaron Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 Don't let yourself think he was the one. Too much of that, and you'll never give anyone else the chance to be it. It might not seem like the case, but we do have some control over the way we feel about things. If you don't want to think that he's the one, then make it a point not to. Lead the way your head, and your heart will follow.
Author sunshinegirl Posted May 4, 2005 Author Posted May 4, 2005 I'll try to turn my attitude around...but it's dang hard. The whole thing just continues to be an emotional shock. My entire family and many mutual friends thought we were great together...were so happy for us and saw there was something very special between us. We were compatible on so many levels and had chemistry out the wazoo. How does somebody just throw that away? The unanswerables are just killing me.
Fallen_Angel Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 I hope it passes too, for both of our sakes! I guess it can be argued that I should have more "relationship experience" before even thinking that my ex was the one. This was my first longer-than-a-month relationship. But I really thought we had a future. I'm starting to realize if we DID have a future, he might have been a little more specific about it. I try to tell myself that this is his loss, because I was a great girlfriend and now he's thrown that away. But overall, I'm still in shock myself. I mean, I understand that it happened, and surely there's a logical reason for it, but I was so happy. I more or less have the "answers" to my questions, but it doesn't make it any easier. I hate waiting for time to make this go away.
Author sunshinegirl Posted May 4, 2005 Author Posted May 4, 2005 This guy was only my third relationship--first one almost 3 yrs, second just a month (but one of those intense summer flings) and then him. I'm 31 (I feel old!) and felt like I had really sorted out what I need in a mate...and he seemed to be all of those things and more. I don't know how to get him off the pedastal, maybe in part because he broke up with me before we got past the honeymoon stage. All my memories of our time together are incredibly happy.
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