dragonwalker Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 So, met this girl went on a first date to the farmer's market. It went well but everything was kept pretty friendly. Second date was to the gun range, it was fun. Tried to escalate and sorta worked out. Anyway, we don't really talk or chat much but after the 2nd date she mentioned she had a good time and suggested meeting again. I told her great, why don't you plan something this time. She said she was busy but would get back to me on Wednesday (it was Sunday at the time). Wednesday comes around and sure enough she does text me and actually suggests a pretty fun sounding activity. Its a room maze which I've heard about but never been to. I suggest this coming Sunday but she says she is busy this weekend but maybe the weekend after. I guess most of you would say its a good sign that she texted back on her own initiative to meet up some time in the future. However every time we interact 9/10 outside of meeting I am initiating first contact. Should I ease up on this? It's not like we communicate much anyway. Maybe a few things every other day. I feel like we're not making much of a connection or at least I'm trying but I'm not really getting that reciprocating vibe. What should I do? I do like her and want things to progress.
Qboro90 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 At the early stages of dating in my experience it's usually the guy who initiates the date. I think that the fact she asked you out and had a plan in mind is an awesome move on her part and wish more women would do so. I also think you may be testing her to see if she'll contact you and then get upset or question her feelings if she doesn't. Meanwhile she's not getting any communication from you regularly so I'm sure she's thinking you're not into her either. Just be honest and talk to her when you want to talk to her. If you feel like texting/calling or hanging out do so without worrying "should I wait for her to do this or that". Might also be a good idea to tell her the next time you're together that you really appreciated her asking/coming up with something for you two to do together. Say that it's something you really enjoy and that it's tough sometimes to always be the one to have to reach out. See what she says. im the same way you are in that if a girl doesn't text me or call at the early stages of dating at least a few times it makes me question her mindset. My rule of thumb that I go with is for every 3-4 dates/times I contact them first, Id want at least 1 initiation on their part first. This usually only lasts until we know each other well enough and it leads to a relationship or ending dating because if you continue doing that then it just becomes immature and selfish.
fitnessfan365 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I don't know man. A woman saying "maybe" is never a good sign. If she were truly interested, she'd want to commit to definite plans. For future reference, I've found that it's better to ask a woman when she's free to get together. It allows her to suggest a definite day, you confirm, and then actual plans are made. If I was in your situation, I'd go no contact for a few days. She'll either reach out or you'll have to reach out to her. But in either case, arrange a call time via text to make plans over the phone. "Hiya! I'll call u tonight to finalize our plans 4 this weekend. When's a good time?" You're far more likely to lock down definite plans over the phone, then you are via text IMO. Plus, it comes off as more sincere.
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