RonChalant Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 It's been 3.5 years and I am bored as hell with our sex life. I tried to ignore it for a while and did a pretty good job over the past 6 months but it's gotten to the point where I can't stay hard with her anymore. Had a talk with her about it 2 weeks ago, she said she would try some new stuff and I said I would do the same. We had sex once since then but for the second time I can't get hard. Now she feels bad and I feel like an ass but I just can't help it. She's a good girlfriend and I love her but things are so stale. Took her to the sex store to pick up a toy, but that was the least fun ever, she's 300% uncomfortable with that kind of stuff and won't even look at it since it's been in the house. She's super conservative and I am a try it all once kind of guy. Don't know what to do, I love her very much but don't know what to do
lollipopspot Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Do you know how she feels about your sex life? Does she just kind of lay there, or does she participate? Is it lacking passion, or just variety?
Author RonChalant Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 Variety mostly, that and she's in general very prudish about a lot. I can't have a sexy conversation with her with out her telling me to stop talking like that. The fact that we couldn't even have a fun time in the sex store because she was what looked to be genuinely afraid and wouldn't answer any of my questions even though SHE offered to go to the sex shop.
Qboro90 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Are you not able to get hard at all from the start or is it once you get going and are having sex that you can't keep an erection? This may be more of a YOu problem than a HER problem. What is is that you want her to do that would get you excited? If you want her to act like a pornstar then you're gonna be disappointed. You should know your wife well enough by now to know what is ok to suggest trying and what would make her uncomfortable. It's never going to be fun if she's uncomfortable no matter what you try. Also are you frequently masturbating? If so give the porn a break because you're desensitizing yourself and that could be the root cause. 2
BluEyeL Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I also think you have an ED problem and trying to blame it on the girlfriend . Porn could be one of the problems. 1
Toodaloo Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 1. go to your doctor 2. talk to your girlfriend and give her "control" so she can experiment at her pace in her own way. She is clearly uncomfortable with it so will need to come to terms with a bit more kink in her own way. Let her play with the toy on her own and discover herself... By the way in my opinion bored people are boring themselves... Stop whining about it and do something constructive. Think back to when you were first together what worked then? What did you do differently to now? Use your noggin. Quit blaming someone else. Take ownership of your penis.
central Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 So, the issues began at around the 3 year mark. That's not too surprising, as for most people the initial infatuation wears off after 18 months to 2 years. Things may seem to continue fairly well for another year or so, though, before you become aware that there's been a substantial drop in frequency and/or quality. Now, you're realizing that sex is boring, and given the limitations and attitudes your gf has towards sex, it is difficult to improve things. She may be a great person, but if you're experiencing ED issues when it comes to sex with her, isn't that telling you something important? Such as, you aren't really attracted to her and her version of sexuality? Unless you think you can fix this together, then it's time to move on.
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