JonClark Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Long story short: I met a girl, fell for her, went away for a year, came back and randomly met her again, found out she also fell for me a year ago, now we both have feelings for each other, but she just got a boyfriend. She's pretty confused. Met again today, we kissed, held hands, she spoke to boyfriend and told him she doesn't know if she has feelings for him, he told her "don't worry, they'll come sooner or later," she told me she has feelings for me, but doesn't know what to do. She looked really sad and confused when she left today. I'm obviously competing for this girl. She's going away for a week to visit family - What should I do while she's away? Call her? Text her? Ignore her? I want her to pick me. What should I do? Please help.
Rewan Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I hate to say it because I know how it feels being in that kind of situation, but..it does not sound like it's going to end well regardless of what happens. :S I know you have strong feelings for her, and I know that it is difficult not to want to get involved.. But in moments like this, I like to find a little peace of mind from literature. Are you familiar with the novel The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald? If you aren't, it centers around an issue such as this. Someone from the past tries to rekindle love with another, but the present suitor competes for her affections because he wants her too.. I won't spoil the ending for you, but what it makes both of them into is not pleasant. Nor is what happens to them. :S Let's say that she leaves her boyfriend for you. Yes, it would be wonderful for you, but how would you know that she wouldn't leave you for someone else? Just because she would leave him for you wouldn't mean she wouldn't leave you for someone else. I know it may hurt and seem impossible to think about, but it may be possible. In addition, you'll also be hurting a man that did nothing to you. :S Could you really live with that? On the other hand, if you should compete and lose, you'll be the one that is hurt. Either way you look at it, someone loses, unfortunately.. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but these are possibilities.. If you'd like to know what I would do, I would walk away. That's what I did when I was faced with a situation such as this before, and while it hurt quite a lot, it hurt a lot less in the long run than if I had stayed. If she respected this man and truly wanted to be with you, then she would end it with him. What she is doing, I feel, while I'm sure it is confusing for her and putting her through lots of emotional turmoil, is not fair to herself or to either of you. :S I'm sorry. I hope this helps..
Fleur de cactus Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Just stop!!! The girl has a bf and she does not want to leave him> SHe is enjoying being the attention of 2 men now. If she wants you or to think about what to do, she could stop seeing any of you and have some time and space to think. Instead she came back to you to tell you that her Bf told her that feelings will come!! Dont call her. If she has strong feelings for you she will come by herself, but dont date her as long she is in relationship. My advice is to date someone who does not have a bf. 1
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 It's game on! She is just worried about hurting dudes feelings. Let her think she's gonna lose you... Just tell it to her straight, that you are not stickin around if she can't breakup with her BF and then cut her off. Don't answer her messages. That will push her to get this done a little faster.
GuskeGee Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I would make her think she lost you, play a little mind game on her. As long as she has you and her boyfriend completely available, she'll take forever to decide.
oberkeat Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 She just lovin' the attention, that's all. Women in relationships do this all the time. They'll openly flirt with other guys with no intention of starting anything sexual with them. They do it just because they like the attention. I see it all the time. I'd move on and have nothing to do with her until she's single.
drallafi Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Long story short: I met a girl, fell for her, went away for a year, came back and randomly met her again, found out she also fell for me a year ago, now we both have feelings for each other, but she just got a boyfriend. She's pretty confused. Met again today, we kissed, held hands, she spoke to boyfriend and told him she doesn't know if she has feelings for him, he told her "don't worry, they'll come sooner or later," she told me she has feelings for me, but doesn't know what to do. She looked really sad and confused when she left today. I'm obviously competing for this girl. She's going away for a week to visit family - What should I do while she's away? Call her? Text her? Ignore her? I want her to pick me. What should I do? Please help. I mean... She sounds like someone you can't really trust. But if u really want her to pick you, the best way to ensure that is to tell her you're going on a date with another girl.
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