Whats the real reason behind the excuse "I want to get to know you better first"??

[Male]

I think sometimes it has to do with age too.

 

I am a middle aged woman with a lot of life experience. So I will approach dating differently than, say, an 18-25 year old girl who thinks she already knows everything.

 

I'd like to talk/text a week or two, ask some questions, think a bit even if there's chemistry (actually, ESPECIALLY if there's chemistry). Then the first meet will be neutral - no getting picked up. Then we see from there. That is not because I think every man is a rapist. That is because I am smart.

 

I understand all that. But there a lot of people that do better in person rather than texting or just talking on the phone. I am horrible at being one of those flirty people using text, but a lot of women nowadays use texting to judge a guy. They like that playful banter back and forth but I am just not good at it. I am very good at talking on the phone, but again, many women are distancing themselves from phone conversations. So the next best thing is to meet in person. I will have to just agree to disagree because I dont see how people can put all that much faith in chemistry before you meet someone face to face. Not saying anyone else is wrong or that I'm right, just dont agree with it.

Edited July 17, 2015 by Male

[elaine567]

I am horrible at being one of those flirty people using text, but a lot of women nowadays use texting to judge a guy. They like that playful banter back and forth but I am just not good at it. .

 

 

That is your real issue, not that "women" are making "excuses" or lying or scared to meet up or wanting "penpals".

"Women" are just doing their own thing, minding their own business.

I do not know how old you are, but I guess not of the "texting" generation, so perhaps you need to raise the age of the demographic you are targeting and find women who are happier on the phone perhaps, or work out some flirty, witty text conversations in advance that you can introduce as "off the cuff" banter, if you are not good at thinking on your feet.

[spiderowl]

But how do you know "who" it is for sure behind that computer? They could be telling you talltales... Texts, phone, emails even video chat is not going to let you see who that person really is.

 

You can't know who it is, but if you pay attention and they are not who they say they are, eventually they will let something slip that gives away deception. A couple of messages saying "do you want to meet" and "OK, when?" just doesn't do that.

 

It always amazes me that a guy who does not even have a picture on their profile will take about two minutes to ask you out and yet fails to understand you can't see him, don't know him from Adam, and no-one in their right mind will meet a total stranger after such minimal conversation.

[Male]

That is your real issue, not that "women" are making "excuses" or lying or scared to meet up or wanting "penpals".

"Women" are just doing their own thing, minding their own business.

I do not know how old you are, but I guess not of the "texting" generation, so perhaps you need to raise the age of the demographic you are targeting and find women who are happier on the phone perhaps, or work out some flirty, witty text conversations in advance that you can introduce as "off the cuff" banter, if you are not good at thinking on your feet.

 

I'm in my 40's...and I primarily date women close to my age. Not really a fan of any younger than 35. In my experience, most of the women in their 40's have been the ones that refuse to talk on the phone. Thats what I dont understand. They grew up talking on the phone, and have no disregarded it. I dont know if thats just women in my area, or if its widespread.

 

 

and no-one in their right mind will meet a total stranger after such minimal conversation.

 

LOL...I guess that would apply to me. Not really minimal conversation, but less than what most people would do. Back during the AOL days of instant messaging I met 2 women at different times and never saw a pic of either one of them.

 

The first woman I messaged and talked on the phone a couple times. We talked about meeting and I recommended a public place. She told me to just come to her apt and we'd go grab a drink from there. I jokingly told her "Are you sure you want to do that? What if I'm a serial killer"? She replied "Maybe I'm the serial killer". I dont know about any of you, but a line like that peeked my interest for sure.

 

2nd woman kind of the same situation, messaging but no phone call. She wouldnt send me a pic, when I asked what she looked like but she told me "I'm not ugly". Again, peeked my interest.

 

Strong women like that, that are crafty enough to come up with such funny lines and not be so serious about stuff are very attractive to me. But alas, I've never come across any other women like that since.

Edited July 18, 2015 by Male

[autumnnight]

Every woman is different. I like a little time to get my breath and think. Gloria would rather meet as son as possible. The trick is to find a woman who jives with what you want.