cerridwen Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Afternoon coffee just hit the screen, thanks! Hahahaha....sorry. This is what got me... ...When discussing your favorite books, it's rude and condescending to tell the person who's talking about their favorite book that their book is fine for "people who don't want to have to think too much" in a baby voice. It's rude and condescending to tell someone, yet again in a baby voice, that it's silly for them to participate in triathlons when they're slow on the bike, "But sweetie, you don't want to embarrass yourself when you come in last!" What an absolute prick. Glad you're closing the door on this one, RoseVille. 2
DaisyBug Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) No, to all of this. It's rude and condescending to interrupt someone mid-sentence to correct their grammar, or to tell them they chose the wrong word ("You mean Affect not Effect" [he misheard me, I did have the correct word]), in a correcting, fatherly voice. When discussing your favorite books, it's rude and condescending to tell the person who's talking about their favorite book that their book is fine for "people who don't want to have to think too much" in a baby voice. It's rude and condescending to tell someone, yet again in a baby voice, that it's silly for them to participate in triathlons when they're slow on the bike, "But sweetie, you don't want to embarrass yourself when you come in last!" What a trifling, condescending POS. He seems to enjoy inflicting harm. Wonder what his reaction is to his girlfriends if they gain 5 pounds? Edited July 17, 2015 by DaisyBug 3
Author RoseVille Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 5 dates, no sex, no discussion of exclusivity, although he'd previously told me he thought I was "the one." Do I just go radio silent, or bid him a polite adieu?
cerridwen Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 5 dates, no sex, no discussion of exclusivity, although he'd previously told me he thought I was "the one." Do I just go radio silent, or bid him a polite adieu? I'm usually an advocate for keeping it civil and at least giving the other person a reason, but I'm having such a hard time feeling compassion for this guy, I say just stay silent until he inevitably provokes you into responding. He just seems like the type to take it there.
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I'm usually an advocate for keeping it civil and at least giving the other person a reason, but I'm having such a hard time feeling compassion for this guy, I say just stay silent until he inevitably provokes you into responding. He just seems like the type to take it there. ^ I agree. He's having a little 'mad,' so let him have it until he gets over it, then when he comes out of his room eventually you can tell him like an adult that his services are no longer needed and to have a nice day. I think I'd make that happen over the phone tho. Normally I think ppl deserve the dignity of being ended in person but I'm just a bit concerned about this guy's temper. 3
Author RoseVille Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 I didn't respond. I logged back into OKC this afternoon. I never took my profile down. And I got this: "I told you I was angry and instead of trying to discuss it and work it out, you jumped right back on to OKC. That made me feel real special. Thanks Rosie. So glad you sent me that first message on OKC and dragged me into this." I'm translating that to mean: "I'm even more pissed that you're not chasing after me, and mad I wasted my time with someone who wouldn't just go along with my program." So, give me a response. 5
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Oh man, I'd be so tempted to actually lambaste this guy .... I think I'd still just zero him out (is he um dangerous at all btw, as in come to your house uninvited type stuff?), but if you want to play you could start with sth like "Excuse me, but how is it that you talking down to me has resulted in blame being placed on me a day later for your bitchface?" 1
lollipopspot Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 If you've been dating, he probably knows where you live and personal things about you. Are you at all afraid of what he might do? I wouldn't want to encourage a guy who's angry at me and seems somewhat unstable...I'd be concerned about my safety. So I'd consider putting it on myself just to kind of make him reject me rather than have him feeling so rejected and pissed off. Even crazy people don't like to be around people who are crazier than they are.
Author RoseVille Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 I am not concerned about my safety. While tall, he's somewhat of a wimpy guy, and I have weapons and am trained to use them. 6
S_A Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I am not concerned about my safety. While tall, he's somewhat of a wimpy guy, and I have weapons and am trained to use them. Really good attitude! This put a grin on my face. 2
GemmaUK Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I didn't respond. I logged back into OKC this afternoon. I never took my profile down. And I got this: "I told you I was angry and instead of trying to discuss it and work it out, you jumped right back on to OKC. That made me feel real special. Thanks Rosie. So glad you sent me that first message on OKC and dragged me into this." I'm translating that to mean: "I'm even more pissed that you're not chasing after me, and mad I wasted my time with someone who wouldn't just go along with my program." So, give me a response. 'I told you I was angry' and 'dragged me into this' - Aw! He would love for you to reply which is why I would choose radio silence. He will mail you again and again I'm sure. This is all about him him him and you have no rights. Engaging with him will encourage him. If you are up for a lengthy argument then go for it but basically he is just after attention, good or bad - pretty much like a toddler who runs and hides in a store. Bad attention is better than none. 3
casey.lives Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 i spent the last two WHOLE years telling my obsessive ex boyfriend of 5 yrs ago(so irrelevant!) who hacked my computer and every single thing about me on the computer.. to please stop in a million nice ways and nothing got through to him. now im pissed beyond what's good for me... he and his current girlfriend have violated me in every respect. i am extremely mad because i've been driven to complete despair. i did express myself sincerely... nothing works . ANGER IS A LEGITIMATE EXPRESSION AND SINCERE EMOTION. it means you are pissing me off - stop it . If you see that someone is angry, like someone crying.. you should know something is very wrong
LoveMachine67 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I didn't respond. I logged back into OKC this afternoon. I never took my profile down. And I got this: "I told you I was angry and instead of trying to discuss it and work it out, you jumped right back on to OKC. That made me feel real special. Thanks Rosie. So glad you sent me that first message on OKC and dragged me into this." I'm translating that to mean: "I'm even more pissed that you're not chasing after me, and mad I wasted my time with someone who wouldn't just go along with my program." So, give me a response. Rose, It took me 2 seconds to come up with this response: "F**K YOU A**HOLE"! Try that and see if he get's the message. 1
serial muse Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Haha, there's only one way that he could know you'd logged in to OKC. Hypocrite. I suppose I'd advocate for a short, note-of-finality note. Something like, "I've thought about our conversation, what I said and how you responded, and decided that we aren't compatible or likely to make each other happy. Best of luck." And, scene. Hopefully he'll go away, but most likely he'll fire back with something or other, which you are then free to ignore and block forever. 6
Popsicle Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I didn't respond. I logged back into OKC this afternoon. I never took my profile down. And I got this: "I told you I was angry and instead of trying to discuss it and work it out, you jumped right back on to OKC. That made me feel real special. Thanks Rosie. So glad you sent me that first message on OKC and dragged me into this." I'm translating that to mean: "I'm even more pissed that you're not chasing after me, and mad I wasted my time with someone who wouldn't just go along with my program." So, give me a response. If you want a chuckle, you can say "You're welcome". If not, just don't respond. 3
Toodaloo Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I'm just having a hard time putting my finger on why this particular instance is a bad sign. I know it is a bad sign, but help me put together the reasons why. 1. his behaviour has shown no respect at all 2. when you called him out on it he tried to shift blame back onto you 3. he is sulking like a brat Run run as fast as you can, this one honey is not a good man! As for the OK Cupid message that is sheer brat behaviour and is showing his nasty side... ignore him. 2
Author RoseVille Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 If you want a chuckle, you can say "You're welcome". If not, just don't respond. He's a prolific writer and I'm attempted to respond in kind. 1
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Ha - it might be fun to engage him and let each of us here take turns at responses (you too) so that he starts thinking you have multiple personality disorder. (Actually that would be kind of cruel really. Fun, but cruel.) 3
GorillaTheater Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 He's a prolific writer and I'm attempted to respond in kind. I was involved in a work-related dispute with a university professor a few years back, and you all know how I post here. Anything over three or four sentences is pretty remarkable. He'd write me these long, rambling missives to which I'd reply (pretty deliberately) "okay" or "thanks". Drove him absolutely bugsh*t. What will really drive THIS guy bugsh*t is to not reply at all. 6
Author RoseVille Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 I was involved in a work-related dispute with a university professor a few years back, and you all know how I post here. Anything over three or four sentences is pretty remarkable. He'd write me these long, rambling missives to which I'd reply (pretty deliberately) "okay" or "thanks". Drove him absolutely bugsh*t. What will really drive THIS guy bugsh*t is to not reply at all. Too late. But! He'll respond with a novel and that's how I'll respond to that... With no response or just, "okay!" 1
Keenly Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Just respond with " Cool Story, Bro. " and move on. If he can't have an adult conversation then he can't have an adult relationship. 4
GemmaUK Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Too late. But! He'll respond with a novel and that's how I'll respond to that... With no response or just, "okay!" Don't forget that you can shorten 'Okay!' to 'OK!' Less letters, less effort. : I'd probably drop the exclamation mark too. I was thinking just put a full stop but if he gets annoyed over grammar then be anal and leave out punctuation....heh! *evil grin* 3
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Another idea if you want to push his buttons is to just keep asking him "why?" about everything he says. That'll eventually drive even Mr. Spock crazy. 3
S_A Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Another idea if you want to push his buttons is to just keep asking him "why?" about everything he says. That'll eventually drive even Mr. Spock crazy. Haha that would work. Women can be such psychological terrorists. 2
GemmaUK Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Haha that would work. Women can be such psychological terrorists. Why? >>>>>runs>>>>>>>>>> 6
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