fitnessfan365 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 ....which takes us back around to the beginning, where you outlined for OP what the purpose of all the dates are cookie cutter style and to kiss her on date 3. I just realized it's always like groundhog day w/you FF - long elliptical arguments that inevitably end up back at the beginning with nothing gained. We already covered this Jen. It wasn't me that said to kiss on date three. Plus, for the countless time..I'm not saying that every woman should be kissed on the first date. Only women you have strong chemistry with that are obviously attracted to you. If she's attracted to you and you're attracted to her, you won't get anywhere playing it safe. When the situation calls for it, you have to man up and just go for it. This is very valid and a good practice, BUT... isn't it taking a bit too strict when the difference comes down to a woman who prefers not to kiss on the first date, but would be comfortable with it on the 2nd date? Read my response to Jen above. I've never said that you should try to kiss every woman you have a first date with. Only the ones where there is obvious mutual attraction. My point has always been that you should always take action when the situation calls for it.
Author Jonbones Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 Take it at face value. When a woman is responsive and wanting to spend time with you, go with it until it becomes clear what her interest is in you. She could be romantically interested or just wants to be friends. You haven't spent enough time talking with and spending time with her to start making any assumptions one way or the other. If you are spending enough time with her and it's unclear, you can have a casual conversation with her about what you want for yourself and what she wants for herself. Be patient for a bit and let things unfold naturally. Enjoy the time for now. So will you tell me if this is good. I was talking to one of my female friends at work who has been my "wingman". We will call her (Jen). Jen was talking to her trying to see what was going on with we will call her (Brit). She asked how our date went. Jen said that Brit told her everything we did and that she had a lot of fun. However after she was done she said Brit gave her the look like "oops I can't believe I just told you that". What does this mean?
CrystalCastles Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 All women that are obviously into you should be kissed on date one. Hm. You're not a woman, so how can you speak for all women? How can you say all of them should be kissed on date one? I agree with everything Jen and Phoe said. I do not like kissing on date one. It doesn't matter to me how much chemistry there is. I need to actually know someone for at least a few dates before exchanging saliva with them, thanks. I kissed my current boyfriend after 5 dates. There was intense chemistry there, and still is. We have great sex lives, we phukk everywhere, anywhere, all the time and its awesome. Just because a woman might be cautious for the first few dates doesn't warrant assumptions of "oh there's no chemistry" or "she's too straightlaced and maybe sex with her will be boring" or [insert another wrong assumption here]. Read my response to Jen above. I've never said that you should try to kiss every woman you have a first date with. Only the ones where there is obvious mutual attraction. My point has always been that you should always take action when the situation calls for it. You seem to have these very rigid restrictions you place upon yourself. Why? I notice this with many of your responses and threads. You allow yourself absolutely no wiggle room at all. You allow other people no wiggle room either. If a woman has a preference where she'd rather take her time to know someone first before making out with them, why is that bad? Every person is different. Not every woman likes a man to be "in her face" on date one. 1
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 We already covered this Jen. It wasn't me that said to kiss on date three. This is just exhausting, so I'm gonna withdraw after pointing out that you said this in this very thread: In regards to kissing, always have the mindset that it's up to you to create the right moment. If you keep waiting for an "opening", you'll just end up over thinking and chicken out. Here's one way to look at it. The first date is when a woman accepts to feel you out and satisfy curiosity. The second date is when she makes a conscious decision to see you again based solely on interest. If she didn't want you to kiss her, she wouldn't go out with you again. So if you ask her out on a second date and she happily accepts, consider it a green light to kiss her on the next date. I assume the next date after the second date is the third date, according to your schedule/diagram/program.
katiegrl Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) Hahaha.. Yeah so how many second dates have you go on with people you had no desire to see after the first date? BTW - I'm curious why you keep referencing kissing on date three. All my first kisses happen on date one woman. First off, why do you keep laughing at jen's posts? Do you find them particularly funny? Apparently so, despite their content not being funny at all...but right on the money.. I think what she meant ff is that a woman might have all sorts of different reasons for going out on a second date with a guy...other than she is interested in him. Just off the top of my head, there is boredom, free meal, to make an ex jealous, nothing else to do, seeks attention.....it could be so many things other than actual interest in the guy. I am glad you have never experienced that, but read this board, soooooo many men have experienced this. You are heading into dangerous (and very presumptuous) territory when you annouce ALL women do this or that or the other thing.... And you have a tendency to do that a lot....hence jen's first post... Just sain. Edited July 17, 2015 by katiegrl 1
fitnessfan365 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) First off, why do you keep laughing at jen's posts? Do you find them particularly funny? Mainly because she keeps making the wrong conclusions about what I'm saying. Plus, she always uses the sticking tongue emoticon to be a smart ass which cracks me up. Edited July 17, 2015 by fitnessfan365
fitnessfan365 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Hm. You're not a woman, so how can you speak for all women? How can you say all of them should be kissed on date one? I agree with everything Jen and Phoe said. I do not like kissing on date one. It doesn't matter to me how much chemistry there is. I need to actually know someone for at least a few dates before exchanging saliva with them, thanks. I kissed my current boyfriend after 5 dates. There was intense chemistry there, and still is. We have great sex lives, we phukk everywhere, anywhere, all the time and its awesome. Just because a woman might be cautious for the first few dates doesn't warrant assumptions of "oh there's no chemistry" or "she's too straightlaced and maybe sex with her will be boring" or [insert another wrong assumption here]. You seem to have these very rigid restrictions you place upon yourself. Why? I notice this with many of your responses and threads. You allow yourself absolutely no wiggle room at all. You allow other people no wiggle room either. If a woman has a preference where she'd rather take her time to know someone first before making out with them, why is that bad? Every person is different. Not every woman likes a man to be "in her face" on date one. I'm not speaking for women. I'm saying that if a guy's instincts are telling him to kiss a woman on a first date, he should always go for it. Life's too short to have regrets. So with that said, here's an honest question. Have you ever been so attracted to a guy on a first date, that you welcomed his kiss attempt despite the fact that you don't usually kiss on a first date? If so, you made an exception because he seemed like the "right" guy. My argument is that a woman who doesn't usually kiss on a first date, will make an exception if she's attracted enough. Look at Phoe for example. Even though she hasn't kissed a guy on 99% of her first dates, she still did it once. As a guy, you want to be that one time exception. I've had a lot of great first date kisses in which the woman said "I don't usually kiss on a first date" right before she initiated to extend the kiss further. What made it so passionate was that it wasn't her normal sort of first date behavior. Here's a few things to consider : 1) There's no way to know what your kissing rules/preferences are. I mean it's not like it comes up in conversation. 2) Part of what makes a first kiss romantic is the spontaneity. So it's not like he's going to ask your permission or announce that he's going to kiss you. That's why a guy pretty much just has to go for it and hope for the best if he feels it's the right thing to do IMO. When you live in the moment, rules have a tendency to fly out the window under the right circumstances.
katiegrl Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Mainly because she keeps making the wrong conclusions about what I'm saying. Plus, she always uses the sticking tongue emoticon to be a smart ass which cracks me up. Yeah that is pretty funny....and I know how much you love a good smart ass....:p:p:bunny:
Phoe Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 1) There's no way to know what your kissing rules/preferences are. I mean it's not like it comes up in conversation. Hehe, funny enough, in my case with the one time I kissed on the first date, he already knew that I'd never done that before. It did indeed come up in conversation beforehand! But, given our circumstances and the length of time talking before finally meeting, it was already well established that we would be doing things a bit differently than I was used to
fitnessfan365 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Hehe, funny enough, in my case with the one time I kissed on the first date, he already knew that I'd never done that before. It did indeed come up in conversation beforehand! But, given our circumstances and the length of time talking before finally meeting, it was already well established that we would be doing things a bit differently than I was used to Your "hehe" was adorable. Love when women do that. But I'm curious, is the guy you're referring to the one that you're with now that you're on a 10-6 ratio with? If so, that's probably where all the passion comes from. He's the guy that took you outside your norm.
Phoe Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Your "hehe" was adorable. Love when women do that. But I'm curious, is the guy you're referring to the one that you're with now that you're on a 10-6 ratio with? If so, that's probably where all the passion comes from. He's the guy that took you outside your norm. Yes that's him, and he does often take me outside of my norm. Many, MANY firsts with him. He does nudge me out of my box, but still lets me feel comfortable.
fitnessfan365 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Yes that's him, and he does often take me outside of my norm. Many, MANY firsts with him. He does nudge me out of my box, but still lets me feel comfortable. Glad to hear it. You're actually a really cool girl who deserves a guy that can get you to see it and who will make you have new experiences. You actually remind me of my GF. Had a no first date kiss rule. Is used to putting up walls and staying in her comfort zone on her terms. But the second I met her, I just understood her. So it wasn't just that we were attracted to each other. But she also felt safe enough to let those walls of hers down. That's why we ended up kissing multiple times on the date and why she enjoys me nudging her outside her box as well.
CrystalCastles Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 So with that said, here's an honest question. Have you ever been so attracted to a guy on a first date, that you welcomed his kiss attempt despite the fact that you don't usually kiss on a first date? If so, you made an exception because he seemed like the "right" guy. My argument is that a woman who doesn't usually kiss on a first date, will make an exception if she's attracted enough. Perhaps you have a point. I had a first date kiss a few months before meeting my current boyfriend. The guy who initiated the first date kiss then proceeded to touch me in ways I didn't want, and I told him he was overstepping my boundaries and he continued anyway. I realize this thought was not fair to place on other men but because it was so recent I had a hard time getting over it. I told my boyfriend this when I started dating him, so he stepped back, respected my boundaries and waited until I was comfortable enough to kiss him, which I did. Look at Phoe for example. Even though she hasn't kissed a guy on 99% of her first dates, she still did it once. I don't think its fair to compare my relationship to Phoe's. Each person is different, and what they are comfortable with are different. I was a virgin before I met my boyfriend and losing my virginity was a scary thought. I had never been naked with a man before. Phoe has had a few relationships before her current boyfriend so it was probably not as terrifying. Each person is different, and has different comfort levels. Don't judge. Here's a few things to consider : 1) There's no way to know what your kissing rules/preferences are. I mean it's not like it comes up in conversation. 2) Part of what makes a first kiss romantic is the spontaneity. So it's not like he's going to ask your permission or announce that he's going to kiss you. That's why a guy pretty much just has to go for it and hope for the best if he feels it's the right thing to do IMO. When you live in the moment, rules have a tendency to fly out the window under the right circumstances. The kissing, in my case, did come up in conversation. And we do indeed step outside our comfort zones, and have a lot. I got naked with my boyfriend a lot faster than I originally planned. We also had a lot of public sex, which I never thought I'd do. I realized I'm a huge sucker for oral and I love giving and receiving, and in my relationship I got to do lots of these things. My boyfriend definitely took me out of my usual box and showed me the works. I have no regrets. And it doesn't matter that the first kiss we had didn't end up on the first date.
William Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) Real quick everyone, without peaking name the OP. Now go ahead and look, I''l wait........ Starting our own threads is easy and totally free of charge folks. Lets get back to the OP's discussion.~Thank you Edited July 17, 2015 by William
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Real quick everyone, without peaking name the OP. Now go ahead and look, I''l wait........ Starting our own threads is easy and totally free of charge folks. Lets get back to the OP's discussion.~Thank you Ok, I'll own that. So will you tell me if this is good. I was talking to one of my female friends at work who has been my "wingman". We will call her (Jen). Jen was talking to her trying to see what was going on with we will call her (Brit). She asked how our date went. Jen said that Brit told her everything we did and that she had a lot of fun. However after she was done she said Brit gave her the look like "oops I can't believe I just told you that". What does this mean? Hmm ....seems impossible to say w/out more context Jon. But if Brit was giggly and upbeat, I'd say that's a good sign. Have you set up another date?
crosswordfiend Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Haha.. It's not rocket science. If a girl accepts a second date, she does so because she's interested. No analysis required. But in my opinion, you should always act the same with all women you date because you're essentially going to attract the one that's right for you. Wouldn't this necessarily mean that the OP should ignore your advice and act the same way he would normally act with all women until he finds one that's right for him?
Author Jonbones Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 Ok, I'll own that. Hmm ....seems impossible to say w/out more context Jon. But if Brit was giggly and upbeat, I'd say that's a good sign. Have you set up another date? It has been difficult since she works so much. She brought up the fact that we needed to do the next competition between us. She said we need to talk about in person that way it's easier to set up. From what Jen said Brit was apparently excited and said she had a good time. She just said Brit looked shocked that she told Jen about all of that story almost like she is trying to keep it on the DL. I just want to know why she gave that look to Jen.
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 It has been difficult since she works so much. She brought up the fact that we needed to do the next competition between us. She said we need to talk about in person that way it's easier to set up. From what Jen said Brit was apparently excited and said she had a good time. She just said Brit looked shocked that she told Jen about all of that story almost like she is trying to keep it on the DL. I just want to know why she gave that look to Jen. You'll have to ask her on the next date. (No, scratch that - you don't want to rat out your informant!)
Author Jonbones Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 You'll have to ask her on the next date. (No, scratch that - you don't want to rat out your informant!) Haha I'm just trying to get a feel for where she's at. I mean everyone else knows that something's up. I haven't been shut down. She hasn't called me buddy, friend, dude or any of those names. She's fine with touching me and teasing me. She hasn't said lets just be friends or anything like that. She has to know how I feel. It's pretty obvious. She just seems to be busy. She is always responsive to everything I text and keeps the conversation alive.
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