Mwhit85 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Ok here's the story I been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years I'm 30 and she is 25 . I have a issue with how her mother treats her and how she is with her .now I always say family is important but when it interferes with our realationship it takes a toll..she is a single child and it's just her her mother and father .. Pretty much she does everything with her mom by everything meaning she takes her to get her nails done ,to stores etc basically her mom takes here everywhere she needs to go it's been years since I actually heard her say I'm going to this place by myself ..we work different shifts I work at night so anyway when I call her she is always going somewhere with her mom even if it's to a store or picking up food she tags along for the ride .. I can't even have a conversation without her mom being present. whenever her mom wants to do something boom there she goes going with her .. Just drives me nuts is it healthy for a 25 year old to be like that ??? When we r together her mom calls her to talk even when we r having dinner just to vent about a little issue and like always she picks up when I tell her can u just talk to her later or why does she have to talk to u now? FYI we don't live together also which I been wanting but she isn't ready ..she also pays rent to her parents .. Just drives me nuts how she always tags along with her mom to do everything with ..is this normal for someone her age to be like this I'm just confused cuz all she does is hang out with her mom during the work week and it seems a little overboard
spiderowl Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 It seems a bit overboard to me too. I can see why you feel on the periphery. I'm not sure what you can do about this other than start doing other things that don't include your partner and let her start to wonder where you are without her. It seems she's so wrapped up in doing things with her Mum (who appears to be her best friend too), that she's allowing this to be a relationship with three people in it. I don't think you can directly confront her about her Mum or expect her to spend less time with her Mum because, ultimately, such a choice has to come from your girlfriend. She has made a choice by spending her time with her Mum. You shouldn't have to ask her to spend more time with you. If her Mum clearly does not need her help to cope, then there is no reason for her to spend all her time with her. Quite honestly, in your shoes, I would be looking for a way out of this relationship. I would not want to have to ask my partner to spend more time with me. I would find that embarrasing. I might point out how much time she spends with her Mum when she is married to someone else, then, if she doesn't change anything, leave. There are some things that are fixable but I don't know if this is.
Qboro90 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 You're dating an only child and this is sometimes what you experience with that. This is a bit overboard and extensive with the amount they're together/talking. I think your only leverage is when you are together with her and her mom calls you can discuss it with her afterwards. You can make it playful as well rather than combative of her relationship with her mom because that won't come out well. "You guys didn't cover everything while you were with her today? Jeez" or "she couldn't wait till you got home to ask that?"
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