Why is this guy so nice to me when we clearly don't connect at all?

[HansonGirl]

I was sort of interested in this guy but I am not interested in him romantically any more. I mean he's a nice guy, but honestly I feel like there is NO connection there. I feel like every time we sit down and talk, he barely makes eye contact and I can't explain it but i just feel like we don't always connect. i mean sometimes we do but most of the time our conversations just are stilted or something. Anyways, so the thing is, he's also extremely EXTREMELY nice, and I just find it strange. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining about him being nice. But when two people clearly do not click, I don't understand why one of them would keep making efforts to be all nice. I am saying, he goes out of his way. he offers me half his food, he offers to make me something to drink. gives me a ride. i told him he didn't have to do something today, but he did it anyway, like ignoring that i told him he totally didn't have to do that.

 

anyways, is this just because he's a gentleman? Again don't get me wrong, i like that there are nice guys in the world, but in my experience, usually when i feel like there is no connection (like in this case) the guy doesn't keep being so kind and considerate and going out of his way to do nice things. that's just over and above, quite frankly

[casey.lives]

theyre bored

Edited July 16, 2015 by casey.lives

[S_A]

Guys do things for people they are "homies" with. Maybe he sees you as one? Wouldn't share my chow though!

[AppleKakes]

I think he doesn't know the difference between "nice" and "good" guy...

 

All the things he does/done for you are sweet and all that - but he's doing it before you had a chance to "earn" it (ie be his gf, SO)...

 

So, unfortunately, while at one point he had you - now you're turned off.

 

People don't appreciate things that come to easily to them and/or they didn't have to work for.

 

While some may say what I'm gonna recommend is "mean", I see it as you helping this guy out. You should sit him down, let him know that at one time he had you, but now he's done too much too soon and killed the attraction. Tell him you want a "good" guy - not a "nice" guy...and, while it may sting, who knows...maybe you gave him the tools to make his future RLs more successful

[AppleKakes]

Oh, and about the lack of eye contact? Yep, while he's overdoing it - believe it or not, he's also trying to conceal his real feelings and/or is shy.

 

How do I know this? It's hard for me to make direct eye contact with someone I'm into - doesn't mean I'm not into them. He's gotta work on this too, cuz until people get to know him, they're gonna perceive it as lack of interest.

 

When speaking to crowds and/or certain people I try to focus not on their eyes, but sorta looking at their forehead and/or I wear sunglasses to hide the "windows to my soul"