Coup La-La Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I went to my High school reunion a few weeks a go and met a woman there who I didn't remember from my school days. When I shook her hand I got the same "spark" that I got when I met my former fiance and my first GF. We spoke for an hour an a half before the topic of her being married even came up, and even then it only came up in passing, she didn't say outright but she implied that she got married because she felt she was getting along in age. Since then we have hung out several times, with some of those times being evenings alone at my house. I find myself more and more attracted to her, I can't explain how badly I just want to kiss her and tell her how much I think about her. I get the feeling that I'm not alone in this, her body language and tone is different with me than any other person, especially other men. I ran into her and her husband in the grocery store today and it was as though he weren't even there, she keep eye contact with me and never broke, and only acknowledged him when he made mention of how much he admires my art work. Even when we parted company she blew me a kiss and said "save that for a rainy day". I'm not the jealous type at all, but if MY significant other did that to another man I would start getting suspicious. So I'm at a cross roads, do I leave it as is -OR- try to think of a way to sway her to my side, and if I do what should be my game plan.
yxalitis Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I'm falling for a married woman. Don't. You have no freaking clue the Pandora's box you will open if you go down that path. Just...don't~ 3
Satu Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 99% of affairs end in absolute misery for all concerned. The blame, regret, and recriminations will grind you down to dust. Have nothing to do with her. 3
GorillaTheater Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 A man of integrity doesn't go after married women, regardless of how loudly his dick may argue otherwise. 3
empresario Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I will say this every time a thread comes up. It's tried and true. If she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you. And that doesn't include all the other stress, misery, and self-destruction that will occur along the way. Unless your a masochist...just don't. There are a lot of women out there. 7
jen1447 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I went to my High school reunion a few weeks a go and met a woman there who I didn't remember from my school days. When I shook her hand I got the same "spark" that I got when I met my former fiance and my first GF. We spoke for an hour an a half before the topic of her being married even came up, and even then it only came up in passing, she didn't say outright but she implied that she got married because she felt she was getting along in age. Since then we have hung out several times, with some of those times being evenings alone at my house. I find myself more and more attracted to her, I can't explain how badly I just want to kiss her and tell her how much I think about her. I get the feeling that I'm not alone in this, her body language and tone is different with me than any other person, especially other men. I ran into her and her husband in the grocery store today and it was as though he weren't even there, she keep eye contact with me and never broke, and only acknowledged him when he made mention of how much he admires my art work. Even when we parted company she blew me a kiss and said "save that for a rainy day". I'm not the jealous type at all, but if MY significant other did that to another man I would start getting suspicious. So I'm at a cross roads, do I leave it as is -OR- try to think of a way to sway her to my side, and if I do what should be my game plan. What's your best case scenario with all this? And what would you hope to get out of it?
yxalitis Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 What's your best case scenario with all this? And what would you hope to get out of it? I can answer that: That she somehow leaves him with no recriminations and they live happily ever after.
yxalitis Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 If she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you. That's an over simplification, under some circumstances where the person is in an unhappy relationship, arranged marriage, abusive partner, or found herself involved but not in love, THEN meets the person with whom she deeply connects, discovers love for the first time, THESE can lead to perfectly happy relationships. I've known people in exactly that situation, unhappily married guy ran away with the woman of his dreams, who sailed boats like he did, and they are still together decades later.
empresario Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 That's an over simplification, under some circumstances where the person is in an unhappy relationship, arranged marriage, abusive partner, or found herself involved but not in love, THEN meets the person with whom she deeply connects, discovers love for the first time, THESE can lead to perfectly happy relationships. I've known people in exactly that situation, unhappily married guy ran away with the woman of his dreams, who sailed boats like he did, and they are still together decades later. I think it says something about a person's character when they choose to pursue someone else without first ending it with their current SO and/or trying to hide it. If you end it first...it's not cheating. 3
mystikmind2005 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 well, if the husband is not jealous of her flirting it could mean he himself already has a woman on the side. Even so, any way you look at it, it if you go down that road then what you have is an open relationship either by default or by design, and you have to think about if that is something you want to be involved in?
Author Coup La-La Posted July 16, 2015 Author Posted July 16, 2015 What's your best case scenario with all this? And what would you hope to get out of it? Ideally she would end up with me, this guy she is married to doesn't have anywhere near as much in common with her as I do. Although more realistically she would remain married and she and I would have a life outside of that with her husband, like George Clooney and Vera Farmiga in that movie "up in the air" .
mortensorchid Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Don't do this, guy. You WILL be sorry someday. If I have to tell you why then you need to see a shrink.
Zippy2000 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 You make a move on her. She doesn`t feel the same. She re-iterates she is a married woman and she tells her husband who then wants to come an punch the living daylights out of you. You lose her and your own self respect because you read her wrong. Dont do anything or it will end in disaster.
Warriors Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 So because her husbands weak, doesn't relate to her (that you know of) and is smaller than you - he deserves to be betrayed, hurt and robbed..lol.... you will do what you want but never trust a girl like that.
neowulf Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Don't do it.. Just don't. Google "the fallout after my affair" and take a look at the results. Horrible, horrible stuff. It's a big world. Find someone else.
HugoMoreno Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 If you plan on dating a hot chick she will most likely: A) Be already in a relationship B) Dating a specific guy C) Dating a lot of guys Either way, you're going to bump into this problem again where you're going to have to "steal" her away from another guy however, unless you can provide for her like her husband she won't leave him So if you want a relationship, you're going have to prove to her that you can provide for her completely 1
empresario Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Her husband is a weak, mouse of a man, who couldn't even look up from the ground when he talked to me, he was like an average person speaking to the King of a great country. Also the man is 1/2 my size, and I've studied martial arts for 12 years so I'm not really worried about a physical altercation with him, lol. Not to mention that I don't see why I owe him a debt of loyalty, I don't know him from Adam! I've been cheated on before and it never occurred to me to blame the person who WASN'T in the relationship This has absolutely NOTHING to do with politics, so IDK why you're even trying to take it there. I'm probably taller, stronger, and more successful than you. And I've club boxed since I was 16 (and I have a black belt in martial arts but boxing is far superior in practical use). By your logic that gives me the right to go into your world and take what you have. If you ever succeed in getting her as your S.O. remember that philosophy. To quote one of the lesser Star Wars..."There's always a bigger fish". What is this, caveman days? 2
Brigit_1 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 A man of integrity doesn't go after married women, regardless of how loudly his dick may argue otherwise. Can I add that slogan to my T-shirt sales list? I'll give you half the profits. I could see women making their cheating spouses wear it as part of the reconciliation process. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 If you're into getting hurt, keep going down this path. If I were you I'd make some hard boundaries that I wouldn't cross, no matter what. No kissing, no groping or making out, no sexual contact, no saying I love you. I would tell her that you expect the same from her & if she violates them, you will cut ties with her. Tell her you will not engage in cheating in any form. If she wants to play with you besides flirting, she has to get divorced first. Of course that is unlikely to happen. You're already deep into her & she either has feelings for you, or is using you as an escape. Good luck on staying on the high road.
SSJROMANCE Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Her husband is a weak, mouse of a man, who couldn't even look up from the ground when he talked to me, he was like an average person speaking to the King of a great country. Also the man is 1/2 my size, and I've studied martial arts for 12 years so I'm not really worried about a physical altercation with him, lol. Not to mention that I don't see why I owe him a debt of loyalty, I don't know him from Adam! I've been cheated on before and it never occurred to me to blame the person who WASN'T in the relationship This has absolutely NOTHING to do with politics, so IDK why you're even trying to take it there. Walk away. You are a bully. If she could do this to her husband what kind of a woman is she? Not one to marry. You obvious just want some fun at the expense of everyone else. Shame on you.
Brigit_1 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 she either has feelings for you, or is using you as an escape. It's probably a little of both.
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 It's possible they have an open marriage or they married for convenience...or she's just having fun to boost her ego.....sounds to me this is just an emotional thing and she won't take it any further. Seriously why would you get involved with someone that isn't available? She's not going to leave her husband....you are just a side dish. Is that what you want to be? you get anymore involved, it's going to rip you apart.
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 It's possible they have an open marriage or they married for convenience...or she's just having fun to boost her ego.....sounds to me this is just an emotional thing and she won't take it any further. Seriously why would you get involved with someone that isn't available? She's not going to leave her husband....you are just a side dish. Is that what you want to be? you get anymore involved, it's going to rip you apart. ^ I agree, the fact that the husband was there acting docile makes it sound like a game. Normally even the most pussy-ish guys will feel they have no choice but to try to stand up to a wife-intruder if they actually see him as one.
mortensorchid Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 And I don't care how rough/tough you think you are, or how weak her husband is. That is NOTHING compared to a legal battle which you are setting yourself up into being in.
Author Coup La-La Posted July 19, 2015 Author Posted July 19, 2015 I'm probably taller, stronger, and more successful than you. And I've club boxed since I was 16 (and I have a black belt in martial arts but boxing is far superior in practical use). By your logic that gives me the right to go into your world and take what you have. If you ever succeed in getting her as your S.O. remember that philosophy. To quote one of the lesser Star Wars..."There's always a bigger fish". What is this, caveman days? Let's make something clear here: We are talking about a human being not some inanimate object to be "stolen", you can't "steal" someone who doesn't want to be "stolen". And I wasn't saying that being bigger than someone entitles me to anything, I was citing that as a reason as to why I'm not fearful of a physical altercation with her husband. BTW: People need to stop it with the claims of "lesser Star Wars movies", Episode III was the best of the 6 star wars movies so far, it perfectly envisioned what George Lucas had in mind. There I said it: DEAL WITH IT!
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