Butterflying Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I'm using eharmony dating site where you start comminicating with someone by sending & answering a few questions. Each set of of questions advances you to the next level with the final questions being more on depth about a persons character. If you both are still interested at the end, you get to email each other on the site. You're on your own. This can be challenging of you're not a good conversation starter. Also, you already know enough about the person by this point to schedule meeting them inmperson. So Lee & I have gotten to the email stage. I told him what I liked about him so far & details about me that I think are beneficial in a relationship. He replied by complimeting how well composed my message was. It sounds like I really know what I'm looking for. He asked where I'm from. But his last question was: "So what makes men attracted to you?" I replied by answering all his questions. And for that one, I told him different men are attracted to different things about me. It all depends on what they are looking for. I asked where he grew up & a series of important questions expecting us to contine with a great conversation. Instead of answering my questions, he emphasized that one. "What do men tell you they are attracted to? Don't you ever get compliments?" So now I'm wondering why this matters. Is this a normal question or am I being too sensitive? It's kinda like a person saying, "what do men see in you?" And that's not a compliment as they seem perplexed like you are not attractive in their eyes. So they can't understand why anyone else would find you attractive. Am I overthinking this?
yxalitis Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I'm using eharmony dating site where you start comminicating with someone by sending & answering a few questions. Each set of of questions advances you to the next level with the final questions being more on depth about a persons character. If you both are still interested at the end, you get to email each other on the site. You're on your own. This can be challenging of you're not a good conversation starter. Also, you already know enough about the person by this point to schedule meeting them inmperson. So Lee & I have gotten to the email stage. I told him what I liked about him so far & details about me that I think are beneficial in a relationship. He replied by complimeting how well composed my message was. It sounds like I really know what I'm looking for. He asked where I'm from. But his last question was: "So what makes men attracted to you?" I replied by answering all his questions. And for that one, I told him different men are attracted to different things about me. It all depends on what they are looking for. I asked where he grew up & a series of important questions expecting us to contine with a great conversation. Instead of answering my questions, he emphasized that one. "What do men tell you they are attracted to? Don't you ever get compliments?" So now I'm wondering why this matters. Is this a normal question or am I being too sensitive? It's kinda like a person saying, "what do men see in you?" And that's not a compliment as they seem perplexed like you are not attractive in their eyes. So they can't understand why anyone else would find you attractive. Am I overthinking this? He wants to know if you're hot 3
spiderowl Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 It's stupid of him to persist with this question if you avoided it the first time round. Men who persist with particular questions usually have a 'thing' about it for some reason. Maybe he's hoping you'll mention something he's already spotted and wants you to draw attention to - big bosoms, long hair, ... whatever his thing is. Someone persisting with a question like that would have raised my hackles too. However, having said the above, if you do not have a photo on the site, then he is fishing to try to find out if you are attractive or not. He will be able to tell what other men like about you by the compliments you say you get.
Poppyolive Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 It's a bit creepy. Perhaps you could answer with, what does it matter what other men find attractive in me. I know my worth. (Use the loreal - because I'm worth it) I get many compliments, too many to list. Then see what he says. I'm sure you don't want to know about what women think or day about him. 1
casey.lives Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Am i offended, no. I'm turned off.NEXT! i rather a man just ask me what i look like and not dance around it. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 He sounds like a weirdo. He should make his assessment about whether you're what he's looking for physically from your pictures, and then an in-person meeting. Keeping up this obsessive line of questioning is a big turn-off. If it were me, I'd drop him.
katiegrl Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 He wants to know if you're hot Yeah clearly that is where he was going with those questions. Knowing me, I would have played along and responded back with "Oh men are constantly telling me how beautiful and sensual I am. Extremely sexual and HOT....oozing from my pores....they go on and on....it gets embarrassing!" Then block him because that line of questioning turns me off to know end! Let him eat his freakin heart out. Dork. 4
Author Butterflying Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 I have the maximum allowed 10 photos on my profile. A few full body, a few close face shots, and a few active shots of me doing the things I enjoy (scuba diving, bicycling, skiing). There is also a pic of me in a bikini laying in the sun at the beach. All are recent within 6 months. He knows rather he is attracted. I still don't know why he needs me to tell him what other men think of me.
katiegrl Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I have the maximum allowed 10 photos on my profile. A few full body, a few close face shots, and a few active shots of me doing the things I enjoy (scuba diving, bicycling, skiing). There is also a pic of me in a bikini laying in the sun at the beach. All are recent within 6 months. He knows rather he is attracted. I still don't know why he needs me to tell him what other men think of me. Because it turns him on knowing how OTHER men find you so hot and enticing. Hell, he's probably the type that gets off on watching you have sex with other men too. If it were ME, I would stay away. Red flag IMO. Just me though. 2
Author Butterflying Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 It's a bit creepy. Perhaps you could answer with, what does it matter what other men find attractive in me. I know my worth. (Use the loreal - because I'm worth it) I get many compliments, too many to list. Then see what he says. I'm sure you don't want to know about what women think or day about him. Exactly! I can easily pick things about him that some women might like or hate. But I would never ask him generally unless we were talking about how he feels or something. In this case, that is his main question prior to knowing my favorite things & why. 1
DaisyBug Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Goona have to chime in with everyone else. Creeper! 1
Jejangles Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Yep, total creep, red flags, sirens going off. I'd block and move on!
Tayla Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 answer him with: Well some of the guys have complimented my grooming style of my handlebar moustache Then proceed to say, it seems to tickle some when kissing . Maybe its all in how you answer it. If you answer with a superficial answer, or a characteristic, or your community activity. Its rather telling .
Versacehottie Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Goona have to chime in with everyone else. Creeper! Yeah lame on a lot of levels. I mean, can't he make up his own mind? Even if he somewhat gets off on other guys being attracted to you, or wants to open a dialogue about the sexier side of you, He obviously is not "that" worried about what sort of impression it will make on you. So he sounds overly guided by these thoughts (can't help himself) OR intentions that are not for serious dating. Most guys (i hope) have thoughts regarding girls they are dating/planning to date that are sexually-driven. It's how they manage and handle those thoughts, especially as they are just getting to know you, that let you know what kind of person they are and what their real intentions are. Also level of respect. Even if it's just bad judgement on his part, there are plenty of guys with better judgement. Pass. 1
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