mr9396 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Basically we started hanging out/texting daily a year ago this week, so she has been a huge part of my life for a year now. We ended up being together for 8 months, saying how much we love each other daily, but eventually breaking up a month ago because: 1) She has had depression on/off since January when she lost her grandad and her mum had health problems, resulting in her wanting to spend more time with her family, and not wanting a relationship because of the added stress. 2) She fell out of love with me due to her mental health issues and not seeing each other as frequently due to school exams. 3) I'm going to university in September, she was going to but pulled out for at least a year whilst she deals with her depression. We always thought we would break up before uni, but rarely talked about it. She has said the 'it's not you it's me' excuse, which is true and applies well to our situation, and I know and accept that unless both people want a relationship it cannot work. She wants to be friends, but I haven't been handling the situation very well at all, which resulted in her initiating no contact, which we have had for 17 days now. I can take relief in that we broke up because of reasons that had little to do with our compatibility, and we talked about it a lot and we both agree the timing wasn't very good. I know for a fact that she won't be in another relationship for a long time, let alone even kiss another man, due to reasons that I won't go into but I know are true. To sum up the issue I am having, is that I simply cannot let go of her. I know that there is a chance we could get back together in the future, but this hope is holding me from moving on with my life. I think about her all the time, get upset very often, especially when I think of the good memories we had together. Another thing that is stopping me from giving up hope is that she turned down when I first asked her out, then said yes, broke up with me in march, then wanted me back.This was due to her being quite indecisive, and never having been in a serious relationship before. So this is the third time she has rejected me , so part of my brain is saying she'll want me back. She is my first love, and I thought she was the one. I have mood swings about feeling utterly hopeless and missing her like crazy, and then I feel happy about meeting someone new and feeling the same way and the small possibility in getting back with my ex. Just need someone to tell me that I will get better. Please help God bless x
dumbass2 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 "She has said the 'it's not you it's me' excuse, which is true and applies well to our situation, and I know and accept that unless both people want a relationship it cannot work" I don't think that you are accepting that. It will not work because she does not want that type of relationship with. It hasn't worked 3 times now. "She wants to be friends, but I haven't been handling the situation very well at all" This absolutely never works when the other still has romantic feelings which you do. She wants to be "just friends". That tells you she does not have the same feelings as you do and you can't force them to come back for her and they definitely wont come back if you remain just friends. "which resulted in her initiating no contact, which we have had for 17 days now." This is what needed to happen and I'm glad she recognizes the situation. She is doing what is right for her and you because you want something she cannot give you now and probably never. You having been trying to just keep her in your life any way you can hoping things magically work out so you get a 4th shot at rejection. You don't want to "just" be friends, but you're willing to sacrifice your wants and needs to fit into what she wants.
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