ivionthenet Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I met this guy on Saturday at a very intimate classical music gig that my friend organised. He walked in and I was so attracted to him straight away. We kind of glanced at each other a few times and our eyes met, he came over to talk to me and I was very impressed with what I have found out about him, we had a few laughs before the concert started So I was hoping he would't leave without contact. We were talking a lot about creative work and he asked me to e-mail him some of my work. I won't go into the details, but there was a screwup with his e-mail address and I only just managed to e-mail him last night. I didn't receive a reply yet. I sent him an a-mail to a wrong address that he may have received or not. the e-mail I sent yesterday is definitely went to the right one. The first e-mail I sent on Sunday and it was a longer e-mail with all the pictures i promised and the latter one is just basically asking if this is the right address or the other one. I didn't want to send the same e-mail twice. So of course I am trying not to obsess over this, but guess what we women are like? I am very set on finding a guy who is interested in me and I feel that not replying this long (which could be just one day if 1st e-mail didn't get to him, but if it did get to him we are talking three days) is a sign that I misread him and he is not that keen what are your thoughts on this? In terms of him asking for e-mails instead of my number was kind of relevant in regards to the circumstances (at that point we were part of a group conversation), and all the signs i picked up showed that he is kind and interested. So my question is how long would you take to answer an e-mail in this case if you liked the other person?
jen1447 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I wouldn't take very long personally, but he might be abiding by some abstract 'rules' that say you have to wait x number of days so as to give back the right impression, blah-blah-blah. Or not. Bigger question is how long are you inclined to wait for an answer?
Author ivionthenet Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 Well, actually he replied the on the second day after my last e-mail. It turned out that my first e-mail didn't reach him. Yesssss! Thanks for the replies. I am at the stage where I want to find an amazing guy and try not to get too crazy with love straight away. I have fallen too many times because my feeling for someone spiralled out of control. Try to keep it cool this time, get to know him and take it super super slow. I will keep you updated. Ah yes, update: in his e-mail he asked me to collaborate on his current art piece with him...(omg he sent me through his work, and he is so so so amazing. Like he's won tonnes of awards, travels around the world and does these great projects, that just draw me in) Next to him I feel like a peanut seriously. You know I always wanted to meet a guy that I look at and get to know a bit and he makes me feel like: "I can't believe that this incredible person is into me" Well, I have no idea if he is into me, and I am also still figuring it out if I am into him. All in all it seem like a great beginning. 1
jen1447 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Is he a musician? That's actually a big compliment to offer a collaboration. Nice.
Author ivionthenet Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 I am so glad you think so Jen because some of my friends responded by asking me: "so is this a romantic of professional sort of interest?" And I was looking at them going, actually, I don't know! Because he did take a while (2 days) to reply and I always think jeez I must be imagining things. I think it is the best way to go because I feel much more comfortable catching up with him to make some stuff rather than having one of those awkward first dates. But yes, answering you question he isn't strictly a musician he creates theatre pieces where he writes the whole music makes the props and lighting and creates this really interesting world. I kind of feel like I am lagging behind here with career achievements because he is this incredibly successful artist. Mind you he seems totally down to earth. Anyways I replied to his e-mail saying what i am up to and that I liked his work and thanked him for thinking of me for doing this costume and rolled some ideas out and asked him some questions. So we will see what he replies. In the meantime I am focusing on my own work and trying to spend as little time as possible thinking about him.
jen1447 Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Think about him - it's fun! Are you a career artist as well? I wouldn't worry about comparisons too much if you're not (it's not a contest when it's a pastime as I'm sure you know), and if you are, well, work is work anyway. But it's still a compliment. Enjoy it.
Author ivionthenet Posted July 18, 2015 Author Posted July 18, 2015 Yes, I am a designer and he is an artist. He is making art full time whereas I still have a day job to support myself and my new business. I am not too worried about him being more successful that me so far. I know how much I do to reach my goals and that is a lot, so I don't feel down about where I am at all. Plus it is kind of attractive to me to know that he is at a higher level. I always wanted to go out with someone who I can look up to and consider his advise seriously. I prefer it that way than being the more established person or even the breadwinner. And I am thinking about him a lot, but try to keep my expectations low.
Author ivionthenet Posted July 20, 2015 Author Posted July 20, 2015 Oh no... the waiting game again. i e-mailed him on Saturday midday and it's monday night now (late) and there is no reply. So now I am obsessing over maybe I just imagined it all blah blah blah I seriously got to take control of these emotions. I thought about this last night.....basically i have been single for 2 and a half years now after my 8 year relationship breakup. I have worked on myself, sorted out my life, I am weirdly enough feeling very happy most days and moments in my life, have wonderful people around me love where I live what I do and I just don't like the idea of someone else having such a big influence over me. and all it takes is for a man to walk in be handsome, talented, polite and sexy as hell and here I am writing all this. I do think that there is something for me to learn here. Because what will happen is, if I keep acting this way is I will only get those guys interested who aren't that insanely amazing. Because I won't lose my head so there will be an opportunity for proper courtship. and I will miss out Mr amazing because I just lose my ****. this is not good. (forgive me for having this rant) i have been searching for the void inside me, but I swear to you all there isn't any. I just get genuinely excited about meeting someone great. Actually maybe I am asking something inhumane from myself by wanting to stay so cool. Well at least I don't do stupid things like e-mail him and ask him out on a date. huh I think there is still hope. And maybe it is nice for some guys to see that the girl is actually interested in them...maybe it is encouraging, maybe the whole gazelle-lion/mouse-cat/whales-planktons deal is a bit too dramatic for me. maybe holding a nice middle line of ''I don't know you yet, but you are kind of cute" approach gels with me the most. instead of the "I am seductress goddess, my path is paved with corpses and I have to literally peel away all the interest the male gender pays me and here you are -you worthless men- try and catch me if you can" thanks for listening btw Jen how are you going with dating life?
jen1447 Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Hmmm ....well I hate to say it but two missed e-mails, yeah. Either he really struggles with basic communication concepts or the other stuff. Tough break but at this point I wouldn't send anymore "hey did you get my other e-mail?" followups. Let him followup if he wants to. And yeah, the self-examination is normal when this crap happens, don't feel bad about that. Dating and romance is very good for me, thanks!
Author ivionthenet Posted July 24, 2015 Author Posted July 24, 2015 That's great to her Jen:-) I admit defeat. He still hasn't responded and the only acceptable excuse for that would be that he was in a coma. And I also admit defeat because I have let myself get carried away with this even tough I didn't want to, I still ended up obsessing, and now I am disappointed. Not too bad though I went out with another guy last night I have met at a few social gatherings not long ago -he must have asked around for my phone number and invited me straight out on a date....that just proves if a men is interested he will find a way. Still he turned out to be not my kind of guy, but hey at least i gave it a chance moving on 1
RoseVille Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 It's funny, I've come to be able to pick up on the folks who are obsessing about a person by the way they post. If I can do it, someone in real life, or someone who receives an email from you, can certainly pick up on it even more. Gotta rein it in. Rein it in.
jen1447 Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 That's great to her Jen:-) I admit defeat. He still hasn't responded and the only acceptable excuse for that would be that he was in a coma. And I also admit defeat because I have let myself get carried away with this even tough I didn't want to, I still ended up obsessing, and now I am disappointed. Not too bad though I went out with another guy last night I have met at a few social gatherings not long ago -he must have asked around for my phone number and invited me straight out on a date....that just proves if a men is interested he will find a way. Still he turned out to be not my kind of guy, but hey at least i gave it a chance moving on Well at least you know what's up. And good job on branching out! 1
Author ivionthenet Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 It's funny, I've come to be able to pick up on the folks who are obsessing about a person by the way they post. If I can do it, someone in real life, or someone who receives an email from you, can certainly pick up on it even more. Gotta rein it in. Rein it in. that is very true. Which is why my lesson once again is not to obsess but just let go and see where things lead. Kind of like they way I treat my creative work.
Author ivionthenet Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 And I went out yesterday to this really great micro music festival my friend organised at an art deco theatre in a little town and met some great girls and boys...but i've met this guy too and we are going out for tea sometime soon. no obsessing as of yet (I am way to busy this week) 1
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