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How can someone go from loving you to acting like you don't even exist anymore?

Tired10

By Tired10
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Tired10 Member

Tired10

Posted
Posted

Hi everyone,

 

I made a post earlier:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/536420-my-fiance-wants-me-clingy-chase-him-around

 

Since then, despite saying I wouldn't contact him for ignoring me for a week... I contacted him. Called him first - he didn't pick up. I texted him asking him what was going on, he gave very short replies, showing little interest in what I was saying/asking. I asked him if things were over - and he said no, but didn't feel like talking much. I asked him if I was annoying him and he said yes. So then, I sent him one last text saying I loved him, and for him to let me know when he was ready to meet so that we could talk things through. And he said okay. A couple of days passed, and he didn't get back to me so I texted him again asking when he would like to meet and he responded with "not interested."

 

I guess it is now safe to assume that our engagement is over...I'm just upset that he literally in ONE week went from telling me how much he loved me to now acting like I'm completely non-existent. I didn't even see this coming? I'm just so upset at how cold he's acting, and won't even communicate anything anymore to me. He knows I'm already suffering from depression and anxiety... yet he just shut the door on me? I'm so confused, upset, and heart-broken. I know I'm not the perfect or the ideal partner.. I am not an easy person to put up with.. but the least I deserved was to know what I did wrong to set him off this way? He was such a loving, affectionate and giving person. How can someone change that drastically all in one week? I just don't understand.

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Starks Member

Starks

Posted
Posted

 

I guess it is now safe to assume that our engagement is over...I'm just upset that he literally in ONE week went from telling me how much he loved me to now acting like I'm completely non-existent. I didn't even see this coming? I'm just so upset at how cold he's acting, and won't even communicate anything anymore to me. He knows I'm already suffering from depression and anxiety

 

you are answering your own question. He is ACTING. Maybe he knows further engaging you in any way just prolongs the misery for both of you. Doesn't really matter cause it's over either way. Move on

aisuru Established Member

aisuru

Posted
Posted

The reality is that this didn't happen overnight and there were likely signs you either missed or chose to ignore. And continue to ignore.

 

He does not want to be with you and is choosing to walk away.

 

Your only chance of maintaining some level of respect is to accept this, walk away, and heal within.

 

I'm sorry. I do know this hurts.

 

It does get better with time however.

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Tired10 Member

Tired10

Posted
  • Author
Posted

So it's all my fault...

Palmeiras Member

Palmeiras

Posted
Posted (edited)
So it's all my fault...

 

I read your original post. I once dated a girl that exhibited some very similar behaviors. She was a classic BPD case.

 

I don't know enough of the background here, but based on what you posted, I am going to go out on a limb and say this is not your fault. If your fiancé has BPD, you are never going to be able to appease him unless he gets help. (Do not take this as a diagnosis; rather, treat it as a starting point for you to figure out what is really going on with this situation.)

 

I hope that someone comes along who can elaborate and/or speculate on this better than I can. The girl with BPD that I dated was not my girlfriend for long, I will tell you that.

Edited by Palmeiras
hotmrw Established Member

hotmrw

Posted
Posted

I understand how you feel, I am going through the same thing, only difference with my situation is that I was dumped for someone else, she moved the guy in, got engaged to him, agreed to marry him, is going to Thailand with him in September, I have been cut off and cut out, removed from Facebook, what makes things worse is that we have a 13 month old child together, she has gone from showing me I was her everything, to I am now nothing, this is what really gets me, how can she just turn 180 degrees like that, where did all the feelings go, I struggle with this on a daily basis, I have no answers unfortunately

Gus Grimly Established Member

Gus Grimly

Posted
Posted

I'm so sorry to hear you are in such pain. You know, sometimes it seems like our Ex can turn their emotions on and off like a water tap. Most of us are walking emotional wreaks, while our Exes walk around like nothing even phased them.

 

When THAT happens we question our self worth. Did they ever love us? Was it just one big phony act? WTF? One minute I'm the love of their life next it's goodbye? What's going on? How did I get here?

 

My Ex broke up with me during a casual conversation like " Nice weather we are having, blah, blah, blah .. oh, yeah by the way, I'm sending you your ring back". :sick:

 

So you never, ever truly know someone or their intentions. :(

  • Like 1
foolinlove79 Established Member

foolinlove79

Posted
Posted

My ex is thr same. One day we are making plans and the next it's over. He is also dating someone else and they do the things we used to do so that sux. I seriously think there is something wrong with these people. Like something is missing from them. They dont love.

  • Like 2
hotmrw Established Member

hotmrw

Posted
Posted

I agree I think there is something not right in there head, everything was fine whilst I was the head Doorman and running a Nightclub, driving round in a BMW Convertible, money in my pocket, women dropping at my feet, then I lost my job ( NOT MY FAULT I WAS SH*T ON ) then I lost my car, then I lost her and my child, my confidence has been shot I tell you, crazy because I am a really good looking guy, 6 feet tall, nice body, and the guy she replaced me with is 5.5/6 and I am told is a clear downgrade, I have my ex ex now wanting to restart things with me, I think I will just be close friends with her, I am seeing her later, we usually go for a walk to the hills, I get the feeling that my ex does not want me to move on, but I am going to, even if moving on means being by myself, I will get my confidence back, I will get myself sorted, and I will do it all for my little girl, she is all that matters now, I just feel as though I was abandoned when I needed her the most, and although my ex really really wants a close friendship with me it pains me to be nice to her after how she treated me, but I am working on this, my emotions are all over the place and I cant stop listening to this song that for me is so APT

 

 

Best wishes, Darren.

dangerbang Established Member

dangerbang

Posted
Posted
I am a really good looking guy, 6 feet tall, nice body, and the guy she replaced me with is 5.5/6 and I am told is a clear downgrade, I have my ex ex now wanting to restart things with me

 

Best wishes, Darren.

 

hotmrw Established Member

hotmrw

Posted
Posted

LOL, Good link, I simply meant her dumping and replacing me wasn't because I am a fat ugly b**tard

 

Made me laugh that link did though..

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