katiegrl Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Funny..a friend of mine had dealt with a few women, although they were initiators, wouldn't return his phone calls after they could call him or after they'd ask HIM out. He would usually give up after a couple of unreturned phone calls...but when he'd bump into them in person, they'd be like, "You give up too easy!" Apparently, women tend to call back after so many phone calls and voice mails left in order to gauge a man's level of interest. Example: Guy calls 1 to 2 times, leaves voice mail for her to call back, she doesn't call back...he doesn't try for a 3rd time = NOT interested in her. Perhaps beyond 3 times a guy calls back (means resorting to being stalkerish in nature) = shows that HIS his interest is GENUINE! "You give up too easily." I think you are reading too much into this comment. You interpret it to mean that if only you had kept calling and tried harder, you would have gotten the girl. No, I don't think that is what they meant at all. What they meant was - that you give up too easy., However, that does NOT necessarily mean your NOT giving up easily would have netted you different results. It only means they would have preferred you chased them harder....as it would have boosted their fragile insecure egos, and so they could brag to their friends how yet another guy continues to chase them (after they blew him off), thus confirming their desirability. You actually dodged a bullitt (sounds like a few bullitts).
Timshel Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 She is onto that phone like a rash. Well, she darn sure picks it up.
autumnnight Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 It is interesting that the OP thinks the general advice here is for women NOT to initiate. I read tons of posts from men about how women SHOULD initiate do the work/ work harder/etc.
BluEyeL Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 I would sooo love to get that sort of IOI from women. When you hang out with very good looking guys you do see things happen differently. Some women initiate and some don't but they flirt full on, so its really easy to see they are a sure thing, so the guy just has to close the deal. I've actually heard them get the line Ive quoted from you on a number of occasions. Even seen women beg to be taken home and f****** (serious). Of course you would like that The quote is from Samantha from Sex and the City.In the scene she was doing yoga and asked the guy to the left "wanna f*ck?" He shaked his head "no". Then she turned to the guy to the right and said to him "wanna f*ck?". He eagerly said yes and so they did LOL I initiated sex with my no BF but after 3 months of dating. I had to be direct, he didn't get the hints.
Toodaloo Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Well, she darn sure picks it up. Unless she is having a poo in which case she washes her hands first before calling back... These men never call at a good time!!! Tip. If a girl is not calling you back stop calling her. Don't bother wasting your time. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Nah, they are saving face because they are face to face. They weren't interested. No chick into a guy does this. Exactly! Always take things @ face value. Life's so much simpler that way. Women that do "test" think they're special. But in reality there's many more just like her that won't put a guy through it. That's why I find it so easy to walk away from women like that. 1
regine_phalange Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 I think I disagree with this. If you let the man take a lead and you are just being receptive, you are allowing the man to have all the power. For cheaters for example this is really convenient. They call you and text you when it's suitable for them since you never initiate contact. I also think that coming across as passive doesn't look that good. All confident woman I know are not afraid to initiate contact. The only thing is that a man has to be receptive and enthusiastic when you initiate. Obviously you shouldnt text him multiple times if he is not responding. One of good ways to test a man in early dating stages is how responsive he is to your random contact. I just see not initiating advice often on LS... Agree or disagree? I agree with everything. Male-female dynamics are more complicated than pursuing and playing hard to get. A woman initiating doesn't mean she's chasing or wants to marry the guy. It means she enjoys the man's company and presence, it's a compliment. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 (edited) compliment[/b]. Exactly! If anything, it's more feminine of her to be initiating cute "thinking of you" texts. Women like communication so it's coming from a place of her wanting that emotional closeness. Usually when I'm seeing a woman, she'll initiate most of the communication between dates. But she does so because I'm consistent in planning dates when I hear from her. I do like initiating with a phone call every so often though. Hearing how excited she is when she answers is the best feeling in the world. But if I was calling/texting her constantly on a daily basis, it loses its value. It's just like with compliments. If a guy tells you that you're beautiful once and awhile when you put more effort into your appearance, it will make you feel great/appreciated. But if he's complimenting you physically all the time on a daily basis then he comes off like an ass kisser. Edited July 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365 2
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 more should but they won't obviously, lol
phineas Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 (edited) IDK, I created a new POF account last night because my FWB went awol and before I went to bed I had 6 women sending me messages with 3 of them attractive looking (in their pics) plus actually have something interesting to say. I'm actually surprised because i've pudged up a little bit and you can clearly see it in my pics and these women are in good shape in their pics with decent jobs. I must stress, in their pics because i've had women with nice pics show up & not even recognize them. LOL! I like it when they contact me because the chances of them not flaking are way lower. Of course there are some women on the site who have messaged me at least 3 times in a day despite me not responding to them & I had to block them. So initiate within reason. Edited July 16, 2015 by phineas
Phoe Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 It is interesting that the OP thinks the general advice here is for women NOT to initiate. I read tons of posts from men about how women SHOULD initiate do the work/ work harder/etc. This thread makes me think back to a thread I made last year http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/502832-how-does-woman-succesfully-approach-man-4.html I asked how a woman can successfully approach a man. I was QUITE surprised at how many people point blank said NOPE, you shouldn't, or tailored it down to "Initiate conversation, flirt, and send signals, but don't outright make a move." I remember being so thrown off!
CrystalCastles Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 This thread makes me think back to a thread I made last year http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/502832-how-does-woman-succesfully-approach-man-4.html I asked how a woman can successfully approach a man. I was QUITE surprised at how many people point blank said NOPE, you shouldn't, or tailored it down to "Initiate conversation, flirt, and send signals, but don't outright make a move." I remember being so thrown off! I remember that and don't worry Phoe you weren't the only one who was thrown off. I've never had a negative experience yet, approaching men. Sure, I've been rejected but that was because the guys in question weren't interested in me, or weren't looking for a gf, or were moving away soon (happens all the time when you're in university and going to pursue grad school or a job after). None of the rejections were mean. I also approached my current boyfriend and asked him out, and he was thrilled! He'd been working up the courage to do it himself but was just too shy. I think if a dude finds a woman hot and interesting to talk to, he's not going to complain if she initiates. Its easy to say "ew women shouldn't initiate what a turn off" until some sexy goddess approaches you and asks you out. 3
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I remember that and don't worry Phoe you weren't the only one who was thrown off. I've never had a negative experience yet, approaching men. Sure, I've been rejected but that was because the guys in question weren't interested in me, or weren't looking for a gf, or were moving away soon (happens all the time when you're in university and going to pursue grad school or a job after). None of the rejections were mean. I also approached my current boyfriend and asked him out, and he was thrilled! He'd been working up the courage to do it himself but was just too shy. I think if a dude finds a woman hot and interesting to talk to, he's not going to complain if she initiates. Its easy to say "ew women shouldn't initiate what a turn off" until some sexy goddess approaches you and asks you out. Glad to hear that
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I've made a thread a few months ago in which the topic was something like, how would guys feel if a woman asked them out and paid for the date. My thread received a LOT of interesting responses, especially from the guys! I've always been the kind of woman who goes after what she wants. If I see a guy I'm attracted to and like, then I'll let him know that I like him; it's not really that hard to do! And he'll know that I like him because I'll communicate with him more often and say certain things that'll let him know that I'm interested in him. If I ask him pointblank if he wants to hang out and spend some time together, then THAT should be an obvious indicator to him that I want to be with him because I enjoy his company! A woman doesn't always have to wait until the guy approaches her, y'know? Guys also like knowing that a woman is into them too; nothing wrong with that at all. . 2
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 I've made a thread a few months ago in which the topic was something like, how would guys feel if a woman asked them out and paid for the date. My thread received a LOT of interesting responses, especially from the guys! I've always been the kind of woman who goes after what she wants. If I see a guy I'm attracted to and like, then I'll let him know that I like him; it's not really that hard to do! And he'll know that I like him because I'll communicate with him more often and say certain things that'll let him know that I'm interested in him. If I ask him pointblank if he wants to hang out and spend some time together, then THAT should be an obvious indicator to him that I want to be with him because I enjoy his company! A woman doesn't always have to wait until the guy approaches her, y'know? Guys also like knowing that a woman is into them too; nothing wrong with that at all. . Well you are a very rare breed of woman
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