Gus Grimly Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 As expected today I had a really bad day. It was officially one week ago my life turned to s***. All day I've been on the verge of sending my Ex a text message. Just one teeny, tiny text message couldn't hurt right? I didn't though, I've had to talk myself out of it several times. I've come up with every excuse under the sun to break NC today. That's also why I'm making this post. It's another diversion for me. What a vicious cycle. Ugh. Anyone else have days like this where you visually playout breaking NC in your mind?
54JA Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I read your other thread about everything you did to maintain NC. Awesome job! It's hard enough already even with all the reminders gone and put away, can you imagine how much harder it would have been if you still had all those things laying around? You can really attribute your today's success to all the precautions you took previously! You are doing much better than me when I was going through my breakup. I broke NC constantly especially when my ex reached out (I responded). We had multiple breakups throughout our 4 year-relationship. It was more like a 2 years of relationship plus 2 years of prolonged break up. It should have been over when the first breakup happened. It's like a drug withdrawal. You have to fight the constant urge with everything you got. Everyday is a battle. It takes not only your will power, but also all the support you can get plus a new structure/routine in your life. Study/observe your emotions throughout the day and identify the time/place that you require extra reinforcement. When do you tend to experience the worst? AM? PM? It is also just as important, if not more, to note the time/place when you are relatively OK/the pain is tolerable. What makes the difference in your emotion? What are the environmental factors? I know it hurts. I can see that you are doing everything you can. Hang in there. 1
mightycpa Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 You see Gus, this is where that video of her telling you to piss off would have come in really handy. Keep strong buddy! 1
Author Gus Grimly Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 It's like a drug withdrawal. You have to fight the constant urge with everything you got. Everyday is a battle. It definitely is a withdrawal. The urge is very strong, but so far I've been able to fight them off. The things that cause me to go into that red zone vary. I have DISH network, with Dish anywhere. Tonight I noticed that she was watching a DVR show on her iPad. Reminded me we used to watch that show together ... went into deep sentimentality mode, wanted to break NC. You see Gus, this is where that video of her telling you to piss off would have come in really handy. Keep strong buddy! You're right, now I see your point. Now it all makes sense. Thanks guys, gonna try my best.
Louisechloe Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 The best possible thing to do is keep doing what youre doing! There does come a point where they will wake up and think 'S**t i have actually messed this and theyre actually not chasing me' All we can do in these break-ups is better ourselves, if you want to cry cry in your room, do not let anyone see that someone can ruin you! just be better, hold your head high no matter how hard it is! No contact is a MUST and deffo need to maintain it for the long run! 2
Palmeiras Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 (edited) As expected today I had a really bad day. It was officially one week ago my life turned to s***. All day I've been on the verge of sending my Ex a text message. Just one teeny, tiny text message couldn't hurt right? I didn't though, I've had to talk myself out of it several times. I've come up with every excuse under the sun to break NC today. That's also why I'm making this post. It's another diversion for me. What a vicious cycle. Ugh. Anyone else have days like this where you visually playout breaking NC in your mind? DON'T DO IT. See, this is what I've never understood. When somebody pisses me off in life, I cut them off. Disloyal friend, nasty ex, crazy relative, dastardly classmate, shallow co-worker... Doesn't matter. If you cross me in any significant fashion (and this takes some real doing), you're not going to hear from me again. And I'm not going to miss hearing you flap your lips. Why, why, why do you want to talk to someone who is not your friend? Habit? Then stop. Lonely? Then do something with yourself. Life is short, and no matter what Shirley MacLaine says, you don't get another shot. If you are alive, healthy, and of sound mind, you can be doing something to prepare for the next thing that life will bring your way. Edited July 15, 2015 by Palmeiras 3
aloneinaz Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 (edited) I agree with Palm. Don't do it. You'll feel terrible about yourself. You'll only look pathetic, clingy, desperate and she'll think you have zero pride in yourself. All traits that any woman despise. You need to get mad and say BS! Vanish from her life and heal. Move forward. I also do what Palm said. If someone screws me over, I'll be a distant memory to them quickly. Life is to short to put up with people who don't treat us correctly whether a family member, friend, work college, GF/BF, etc.. You are breaking a habit. You'll have good days and bad days. You just need to power thru the bad ones. It gets easier and easier as each day passes. I was REALLY in love w/my last GF despite what a nasty, train wreck she was. She ended us cuz I couldn't at the time. I was SSOO done and told myself I'd NEVER contact her again... EVER.. I didn't either. Was it hard? Hell yea but my self respect was MUCH more important to me. I knew I was a great BF to her and our problems were mainly her issues. Staying NC allowed me to heal. After a couple of months I started casually dating again. I then met my now 2 year GF several months later. I was SSSOOO proud of myself that I never broke contact. After 6 months, she broke NC and came back after me and was told "hell no" and good luck.. You can do the same. Stay NC. It will help you heal and move forward. It does become easier each day. You can do it and stay on track to find someone who's a better match for you like I did.. I couldn't be happier with my GF now. Edited July 15, 2015 by aloneinaz 2
Ariess10 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Don't do it , your not gonna like what happens .. Keep on the nc track and one day you'll be able to say you held your head high and left with some dignity 1
NopeNah Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 don't...If you must contact her,get super drunk first! Like,You can't put a coherent statement together/pissing in the fridge drunk! AND.....Have at it!
LeslieKnope Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Or alternatively: tell a trusted friend how you feel. Ask if you can change your ex's contact on your phone to that friend's number THEN send the text, knowing that you got it out of your system but sent it to your friend instead to protect your feelings. One of the things I've learned about my situation: no response from my ex will make me happy right now other than an 'I miss you', 'I love you' and/or 'I'm sorry, I want you back.' So if I don't expect to get any of those response, what else could I possibly have to say to him that won't make me feel worse later on? You'll be okay. We'll all be okay.
Recommended Posts