babycakees Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I am just trying to get a general consensus. Men how would you feel about a woman asking you out? Also, women: do you ask men out often? Or find its best to let them ask you?
newmoon Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 i used to ask men out all the time. and then i got older and wiser and realized the old-school system works much better for me. i am the woman, he is the man, let him be the man. if i put myself out there as the initial aggressor, i have to keep that up. and i have, too many times, while the guy turns into the weak one. if i take away the asking i'll never be able to accurately gauge what kind of man he is. is he a planner? spontaneous? will he pay in advance or wait until we arrive? will he call to confirm? etc. it shows a lot about his character and general life skills when you leave the asking to him. imo. 1
ZA Dater Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 i used to ask men out all the time. and then i got older and wiser and realized the old-school system works much better for me. i am the woman, he is the man, let him be the man. if i put myself out there as the initial aggressor, i have to keep that up. and i have, too many times, while the guy turns into the weak one. if i take away the asking i'll never be able to accurately gauge what kind of man he is. is he a planner? spontaneous? will he pay in advance or wait until we arrive? will he call to confirm? etc. it shows a lot about his character and general life skills when you leave the asking to him. imo. So a guy who doesn't approach is weak. Interesting conclusion.
S_A Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 So a guy who doesn't approach is weak. Interesting conclusion. That's not the conclusion. Her post was far more well thought out than that. Also, no guy would ever complain about being asked out! If he complains, he was never worth going out with anyway.
ZA Dater Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 That's not the conclusion. Her post was far more well thought out than that. Also, no guy would ever complain about being asked out! If he complains, he was never worth going out with anyway. How many ladies actually ask guys out...cant say I have ever met any of those. 1
yxalitis Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I've been asked out only a few times. One woman who worked in a different branch of the company asked me out for a coffee, and was super friendly every time we met...but I was (happily at the time) married. At the company xmas function I was dancing with my wife when she walks over, looking fabulous (better body than my wife), and as she was a bit drunk, just kisses me full on the lips...she hadn't noticed I was with my wife, who I awkwardly introduced her to... She walked away rather embarrassed. That did cause quite a few questions later...
Keenly Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 It doesn't bother most men, but that won't give women a reason to do it. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I'm a very traditional man and I always loved it. I like independent, confident, sassy women though....like my beautiful wife. G 2
green_tea Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I've done it once in my life by asking a guy out for coffee. He did accept but he turned out to be taken. Not sure if I would do it again to be honest.
phineas Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I enjoy it and find that women who are afraid to ask men out are way more insecure with their bodies than women who will ask a man out. A hot insecure women is so much less attractive than an average woman that is secure with themselves. 2
Diezel Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I don't mind. I don't see anything wrong with it. Any man or woman who draws a negative conclusion to a woman asking a man out has a lot of personal insecurity to deal with. 1
Shining One Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I don't mind at all and I find it refreshing. The confidence to approach is very attractive. 2
ivionthenet Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 well I find a lot of pleasure in being pursued by a men. nothing turns me on more than knowing that I seduced him into wanting to ask me out. hence why i posted my thread tonight....(titled "what is the turnaround on first contact) 1
Author babycakees Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 I guess I ask because I have been kicking around the idea of inviting a guy to a specific event this weekend. We talk regularly and I have an idea he may have feelings for me. But of course, I keep talking myself out of it. I try to tell myself that the worst thing that can happen is he says no and I move on. It's just a big step and something I've never really done before.
fitnessfan365 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I'm a very traditional man and I always loved it. I like independent, confident, sassy women though....like my beautiful wife. G It's the same way for me. Even though I like a traditional dynamic and enjoy being dominant, what really turns me on is a woman that can keep up with me. Smart ass, sassy, confident, and a mind of her own. Femininity is great and sexy as hell. But a Stepford mentality isn't. 1
smackie9 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 26 years ago when I was single, I asked guys out all the time, and only been turned down once because I was a smoker at the time. It was always positive. The date is only as good as the company you invite....my picker was off a few times lol. I say go for it....if it's not well received, he was never interested in you.
GravityMan Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Several women have asked me out over the years and I'm cool with it. (As long as she doesn't come on too strong and desperate-sounding.) And at least one of the women who did it was well-liked, intelligent and physically attractive to a lot of men I knew at the time. Confident women usually go after what they want, just like men. Including younger women in their 20s and 30s. Some of them may be a bit more indirect about it than others, but direct or indirect - they make their interest known in a way that many guys would pick up on (unless they're really dense). As long as one of us (me or her) eventually makes a move on the other, who gives a damn. There's a good possibility that the end result's gonna be the same either way. The attraction's either going to be there or it's not...regardless of whoever initiates, approaches, does the asking.
Teraskas Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 I would be more than thrilled, but I don't expect it to happen in this lifetime. The majority of women are far too conservative to ever pull off such a 'bold move'. I've talked to several colleagues and classmates about this during our breaks. They told me they would never do such a thing. It's ironic though...plenty of women want to be 'modern' in many aspects of their lives, yet when confronted with a topic such as this they remain rigidly traditional. I must say though, I applaud women who approach / take the initiative to approach first. Ideally I'd more than like to see it happen to me, but as it is I have my doubts. At least those who do attempt it (be it successful or not) know what it takes which a male has to go through on a (near) daily basis.
lovebirds Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 I guess I ask because I have been kicking around the idea of inviting a guy to a specific event this weekend. We talk regularly and I have an idea he may have feelings for me. But of course, I keep talking myself out of it. I try to tell myself that the worst thing that can happen is he says no and I move on. It's just a big step and something I've never really done before. If you talk regularly and know him already, I'd say ask him to come with you to the event. You don't even have to see it as a date, you could just think of it as friends going to an event together. I guess that helps me to be less stressed about asking someone out.
Toodaloo Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 i used to ask men out all the time. and then i got older and wiser and realized the old-school system works much better for me. i am the woman, he is the man, let him be the man. if i put myself out there as the initial aggressor, i have to keep that up. and i have, too many times, while the guy turns into the weak one. if i take away the asking i'll never be able to accurately gauge what kind of man he is. is he a planner? spontaneous? it shows a lot about his character and general life skills when you leave the asking to him. imo. I am with this. However, what I will do is help them along. I will initiate conversations and talk to men. I will smile and give them a cheeky wink, I will flirt and compliment (mind you I do that anyway - some think I am a lesbian!!!). I will make it easier for them to ask the question. I will drop hints as subtle as a brick that they will not get rejected if they ask me out (If I want them to!!!). That way they get to stay in "control" and be macho while I get to be my own woman and show my assertive and sassy side. If it is a specific event and you know him already what I would do is say that you have tickets and you thought he would enjoy going with you so you are offering him first dibs, if he doesn't let you know by X time/ day then you will get one of your other friends to go with you. Be at your absolute bounciest, happy self during the event. Then after the event go quiet. Let him chase you.
smackie9 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 A lot of women perceive being assertive as being slutty or are afraid be taken as easy.....it's so silly IMO because how to you equate asking for a date as being a slut. It doesn't matter who does the asking out, women still will have control of the situation.
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