onelove89 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Hey everyone I signed up just to ask this. I met an amazing girl I am 25 she is 20. We have everything in common. The day I met her we texted a little bit then it went cold for two days and she agreed to meet up this past Sunday. Well Sunday morning she said we would meet and then she canceled and didn't text me all day. Well Monday we decided to meet and we hit it off or so I thought. We went for dinner then she wanted to get ice cream so we did then we watched a movie then went for a walk. During the movie she reached for my hand and was all over me. This girl I was so into I didn't even want to kiss her because I didn't wanna move to fast. We ended up going back to her house and we chilled for a minute and then we parted ways we talked about another date which we discussed before this weekend but then she said maybe tomorrow meaning today. She told me to message her when I got home. I ended up messaging her and telling her I had a great time and I look forward to seeing her again. Then I messaged her telling her I made it home and hope she has a good night. I woke up and waited but she never texted back soni sent her q message asking if she wanted to meet up again for a walk and she didn't even respond so its been almost 24 hours. I know o might have texted her too fast. I don't want to seem desperate but this girl is the girl I have been looking for 2 years. She is an amazing woman and would love to see her again. How long should I wait so message her again or call her. I don't care if there is competition because I want to know more about this woman. Sorry for long question.
40 Fonzarelli Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 You've already reached out to her. Messaging her again might put you into a deeper hole. If she's interested, she will text you back. Be patient.
Author onelove89 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 OK cool thank I'm just feeling bummed cause she is such an amazing girl it seems. I have been single by choice for two years by choice because I can't find the right match and this girl is perfect to me.
Versacehottie Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 It sounds like she was lukewarm to begin with (maybe she is trying to get over someone). And then you acted a little clingy after date. Be more patient next time. There is nothing you can do on this one yet but wait for her to reply if she does. You already look a little desperate. Try to keep it more balanced in future interactions with her. 4
Author onelove89 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 Yes she broke up with a guy after 5 years and has been spending time alone. Your right I do seem desperate but I kinda am but its hard not to be because she was so cool. I have that problem. How long after a woman texts should us guys text back. I always text right back which obviously makes me look like I have no life lol she takes a few hours sometimes. In this case it will be a few days I think. If she does text me should I text right back or wait a few hours?
40 Fonzarelli Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I would wait more than a day. If someone takes 3 days to respond, you can bet you are very low on their list of priorities.
aloneinaz Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Doonnn''ttt text her again! If you do, you'll scare her off for good. Personally, you're WWAAYYY to invested, clingy after only one date with her. She's already demonstrated a bit of flakiness already. She's 20 which means she's VERY young and clearly immature. I'd keep looking if I was you. If she reappears, PLAY IT COOL.. Don't play massive games but don't return her text for a few hours either. Don't be too available to her either. Again, IF she reaches out, DON'T ask her out. Let her do it. You need to turn the tables on her where she doesn't feel she already has you wrapped around her finger (think BORING). Girls like a challenge. Give her one. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Doonnn''ttt text her again! If you do, you'll scare her off for good. Personally, you're WWAAYYY to invested, clingy after only one date with her. She's already demonstrated a bit of flakiness already. She's 20 which means she's VERY young and clearly immature. I'd keep looking if I was you. If she reappears, PLAY IT COOL.. Don't play massive games but don't return her text for a few hours either. Don't be too available to her either. Again, IF she reaches out, DON'T ask her out. Let her do it. You need to turn the tables on her where she doesn't feel she already has you wrapped around her finger (think BORING). Girls like a challenge. Give her one. Yes match her level of interest and action. Mirror her actions. Even if that is not the way you are feeling, it's the way to keep at least for appearances sake, things balanced for now. When she starts responding with more enthusiasm and urgency, so can you 2
candie13 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I'd keep looking if I was you. If she reappears, PLAY IT COOL.. Don't play massive games but don't return her text for a few hours either. Don't be too available to her either. Again, IF she reaches out, DON'T ask her out. Let her do it. You need to turn the tables on her where she doesn't feel she already has you wrapped around her finger (think BORING). Girls like a challenge. Give her one. hate it when you give good advice to men ! OP, IMHO, she's a goner. Get used to that idea and ask some other girls out to soften the blow. You were totally all over her and that's a huge turn off... sorry mate, nothing personal. Better luck next time ! 1
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 Yea you all are right I was definitely too clingy I should have signed up for this a long time ago to help me out. I always seem to get too clingy maybe because I always think there won't be another chance. It's funny cause the girls I really wanna be with don't want me but the woman I don't care for want to be with me. I won't text her again until she messages me again. She always takes a long time but deep down I think she is afraid to like someone else she seems like she is afraid. Maybe still into her ex
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 That's the problem tho. I was not even all over her. She was all over me. She held my hand and was all over me during the movie. She ever talked about going camping together and talked about future dates. For instance she saw a ice skating place and she said we should go ice skating one day. She was totally all over me and that's why I am surprised. I would understand if I was clingy and she was not all over me but I'm at a stand still.
aloneinaz Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 You sound young Onelove. How old are you? Let me offer some advice- 1) Women like a challenge, PERIOD.. They typically don't like Mr. Nice guy who's far too into them after a date or two. Next time you have a good date, wait a day or two before contacting them. Then, keep it light and casual. You can read if a girl likes you or not after texting/talking to them after a date or two. 2) Peoples words don't mean $hit. She was saying all the right things to you to get you REALLY engaged with her. Some people are experts at saying all the right things to get people really into them. Peoples ACTIONS are what matters. All the BS she spewed didn't add up did it? Not returning texts. 3) Sometimes, even after what we perceive as a great first date, the person vanishes and doesn't reply. In MOST cases, they don't want to see you again and they are too cowardly to simply reply to your text with that information. The great thing about dating is the experience you gain. You learn what to do and what not to do so HOPEFULLY, you don't make the same mistakes. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Yea you all are right I was definitely too clingy I should have signed up for this a long time ago to help me out. I always seem to get too clingy maybe because I always think there won't be another chance. It's funny cause the girls I really wanna be with don't want me but the woman I don't care for want to be with me. I won't text her again until she messages me again. She always takes a long time but deep down I think she is afraid to like someone else she seems like she is afraid. Maybe still into her ex good. BTW, not afraid to like someone else. Don't believe this because it will just suck you in where you try to convince her she doesn't have to be afraid with you. People take a leap when they want to or are ready to. Possibly not ready and/or still into her ex. There's nothing you can do about this. Except hold your composure and dignity, in case they circle back around. I don't think you can read too much into her physicality on the date. Look at her effort in total. Not there.
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 You sound young Onelove. How old are you? Let me offer some advice- 1) Women like a challenge, PERIOD.. They typically don't like Mr. Nice guy who's far too into them after a date or two. Next time you have a good date, wait a day or two before contacting them. Then, keep it light and casual. You can read if a girl likes you or not after texting/talking to them after a date or two. 2) Peoples words don't mean $hit. She was saying all the right things to you to get you REALLY engaged with her. Some people are experts at saying all the right things to get people really into them. Peoples ACTIONS are what matters. All the BS she spewed didn't add up did it? Not returning texts. 3) Sometimes, even after what we perceive as a great first date, the person vanishes and doesn't reply. In MOST cases, they don't want to see you again and they are too cowardly to simply reply to your text with that information. The great thing about dating is the experience you gain. You learn what to do and what not to do so HOPEFULLY, you don't make the same mistakes. Hey thanks for the advice! I am 25 but I am new to dating because o was with a girl for 5 years and she was all I knew. I am super clingy because I guess I am insecure. I have been told by women I am very handsome and have an amazing body even though I'm only 145lbs. I'm just insecure and it shows. I get worried and jealous and childish stuff like that even though I really don't try to. I mean I try really hard to just remain calm and let think pan out but your right I never challenge a girl and I'm always too available. I will take your advice and not be so available to her or future women I meet. If this girl don't respond back in a few days should I call her one time? She just didn't seem like the type to do that. She even wanted me to meet her dad but he was not home.
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 good. BTW, not afraid to like someone else. Don't believe this because it will just suck you in where you try to convince her she doesn't have to be afraid with you. People take a leap when they want to or are ready to. Possibly not ready and/or still into her ex. There's nothing you can do about this. Except hold your composure and dignity, in case they circle back around. I don't think you can read too much into her physicality on the date. Look at her effort in total. Not there. Yea you are right. On a date of course they are going to be into it but everywhere else she has shown no effort. Thanks a lot you made a great point I'm glad I came on here for some advice cause I was feeling really crappy. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Yea you are right. On a date of course they are going to be into it but everywhere else she has shown no effort. Thanks a lot you made a great point I'm glad I came on here for some advice cause I was feeling really crappy. Listen the best you can do is bolster yourself so that you can handle things ideally the next time around--whether it's with her or the next girl. Learn, work on yourself, get ready. You won't get what you want with her by pushing closer, only pulling away to make her wonder. 1
katiegrl Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 It sounds like she was lukewarm to begin with (maybe she is trying to get over someone). And then you acted a little clingy after date. Be more patient next time. There is nothing you can do on this one yet but wait for her to reply if she does. You already look a little desperate. Try to keep it more balanced in future interactions with her. ^^Agree with this.....and if you learn anything from this experience it's this: Two people can be out on the SAME date together, but be having two entirely DIFFERENT experiencs. The date was amazing for YOU, but obviously not for HER. Let it go....she's not feelin it. Sorry. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I know it may seem that way. But in hindsight you had one date with her dude. I can't tell you how many GREAT first dates I've had that lead to mediocre second dates. It's natural to get caught up in the moment and feel that initial elation. But in reality, a relationship develops from having a lot of great dates over a period of time. My advice? Slow your roll a bit, and remember this is a girl you just met that you had one date with. She knows you're interested in seeing her again, so you have to allow her the time/space to get back to you. If you want to be a bit more persistent, try giving her a call in 4-5 days if you don't get a text back. But definitely DO NOT text her again in the meantime. 1
aloneinaz Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 If this girl don't respond back in a few days should I call her one time? Dude... we are trying to help and you need to listen to EVERYONE.. NNNNNOOOOO, don't EVER contact her again. It's in HER court. She's blowing you off and you need to take the hint. Find another girl that you can start out with fresh. Play it cool and listen to the advice everyone's giving you. 2
xcupid Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 The date was amazing to you. Maybe not so much for her. She's pulled away for some reason. She might be cool but that doesn't mean you're a match and compatible. When she doesn't text you back it's probably because she's not interested. I don't think it's worth investing any more time with this one. Move on and gain experience dating so you build your confidence and experience. Good luck. 1
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 ^^Agree with this.....and if you learn anything from this experience it's this: Two people can be out on the SAME date together, but be having two entirely DIFFERENT experiencs. The date was amazing for YOU, but obviously not for HER. Let it go....she's not feelin it. Sorry. Yea your right thanks for the advice. The feeling sucks but your right!/
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 I know it may seem that way. But in hindsight you had one date with her dude. I can't tell you how many GREAT first dates I've had that lead to mediocre second dates. It's natural to get caught up in the moment and feel that initial elation. But in reality, a relationship develops from having a lot of great dates over a period of time. My advice? Slow your roll a bit, and remember this is a girl you just met that you had one date with. She knows you're interested in seeing her again, so you have to allow her the time/space to get back to you. If you want to be a bit more persistent, try giving her a call in 4-5 days if you don't get a text back. But definitely DO NOT text her again in the meantime. Thanks a lot I will just leave her alone your right I got way to caught up in the moment!/won't happen again at least I hope not lol
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 Listen the best you can do is bolster yourself so that you can handle things ideally the next time around--whether it's with her or the next girl. Learn, work on yourself, get ready. You won't get what you want with her by pushing closer, only pulling away to make her wonder.[/quote Your right too its better to make her wonder s little instead of knowing she can hang out with me whenever she pleases because I'm wrapped around her finger. Thanks!
Lois_Griffin Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 It's funny cause the girls I really wanna be with don't want me but the woman I don't care for want to be with me. And you haven't figured out WHY this is? It's because you're NOT chasing the ones you aren't attracted to and therefore, you don't appear desperate to them. That's why they're attracted to you. The ones you DO want, you chase aggressively and appear desperate - which is a complete turn-off for them. 4
Author onelove89 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 And you haven't figured out WHY this is? It's because you're NOT chasing the ones you aren't attracted to and therefore, you don't appear desperate to them. That's why they're attracted to you. The ones you DO want, you chase aggressively and appear desperate - which is a complete turn-off for them. You are right honestly I didn't even think about it. I thought I knew things and apparently I don't lol. Great advice I will definitely not chase anyone anymore and make myself look desperate
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