Redemption04 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Women can chime in too. Like on the arm, shoulder, etc, laying your hand on her arm, do you do that with your female platonic friends? Or only women you date for fear of them getting the wrong idea? I know, as a woman, I go out of my way NOT to touch male platonic friends--to avoid giving them any ideas/false hope, etc. Just wondering what your opinions were.
Shining One Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 It varies with the friend in question. I generally let them set the precedent and I avoid going further than they go. One friend doesn't make physical contact, so neither do I. Another friend lets her hands wander when we're drinking and dancing, so my hands wander when we're drinking and dancing.
Author Redemption04 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 It varies with the friend in question. I generally let them set the precedent and I avoid going further than they go. One friend doesn't make physical contact, so neither do I. Another friend lets her hands wander when we're drinking and dancing, so my hands wander when we're drinking and dancing. So drunk potentially, but what about when you're both completely sober?
Phoe Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 For me this is a no. Hugs on special occasions of course. We're all comfortable enough that we don't specifically THINK about "zomg keep 5 feet of space at all times". Sometimes elbows bump, one of us might tap the other's shoulder to get their attention, high fives happen, etc. But touchy feely regular contact. NO. 1
Shining One Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 So drunk potentially, but what about when you're both completely sober?It's the same. She just likes to touch.
Keenly Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Absolutely not. I'm kind of weird about personal space though.
yxalitis Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Yes, I'm a touchy, feely kind of guy, and the sort of woman I have as platonic friends know and accept this.
SammySammy Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 In a platonic, non-sexual manner - yes. I see nothing wrong with hugging or casually touching a platonic friend. Actually, I think it would be weird not to. 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 My mum is French so we're used to being very tactile from that side of the family, pretty much with everyone. This clashes a little bit with the English side of the family who, except for my dad (who has been well trained after over 40 years with my mum), barely touch anyone. I've definitely taken after my mum and I very frequently touch my friends (all very appropriate, obviously ), male or female, and hug them often. No one's ever taken it the wrong way. The BF doesn't seem to mind and knows there's no malice in it.
rester Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I'm not much of a toucher, but many of my platonic female friends are, and do touch me often. It's never lead to much confusion.
newmoon Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 i don't touch men i have no interest in because i don't want to give any wrong signals. but i do notice that most of my platonic male friends do not share that sentiment and they always try for some type of touch, hand, shoulder, hug, etc. i don't like it.
carhill Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Men: Do you touch your platonic female friends? Women can chime in too. Like on the arm, shoulder, etc, laying your hand on her arm, do you do that with your female platonic friends? Sure, and hug and kiss them too. Or only women you date for fear of them getting the wrong idea? Never feared much since 'platonic' means 'no sexual attraction or interaction' and, generally, all of them were/are married! I know, as a woman, I go out of my way NOT to touch male platonic friends--to avoid giving them any ideas/false hope, etc. In my generation, I think that's wise because, in general, men think of women and sex all rolled into one. I never really thought that way. Perhaps my parents screwed up somewhere in the socialization thing, IDK. Always experienced women as friends first and potential lovers later. Epic fail. Hence, IMO keep up what works for you. Less ambiguity too. Just wondering what your opinions were. It's nice to be older and divorced and not worry about all that stuff anymore. I just do what I do and women react how they do. And, no, I don't think a woman is 'coming on' to me if she touches me. Heck, plenty turn cheek kisses into lip kisses and I still know they're not coming on to me. It's simply a different form of platonic interaction because there's more intimacy and history and bonding. I can't recall an unknown woman being that friendly, ever. Safe. 1
RoseVille Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Depends on the friend. With some, there's an unspoken physical boundary of no touching other than welcoming and goodbye hugs. With others, they're very touchy freely, but they're like that with friends of both genders. I personally prefer the latter.
Jacob_Duluoz Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 If you're actually friends or if it's appropriate for the situation in terms of formality, then a full hug can be appropriate in context. Generally no more than a no-grip goodbye hug or gentlemanly handshake is appropriate otherwise.
anna121 Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I have male friends who occasionally hug me and kiss me. I'm affectionate and some of my friends are too.
phineas Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I got two types of female friends. Women I've slept with and when we hang sometimes we have sex, sometimes we don't. I put my arm around them, hug and kiss good bye ect. Even if we went going to bang that night. I also have strictly platonic female friends. We will hug good bye, or we will playfully grab each others arms or whatnot but its non sexual and never inappropriate or often. Even if booze is involved. I like being able to bring a date around my female friends and honestly being able to tell her " I've never even kissed them". Then there are women who say they want to be friends and get overly flrity, handsy, ect and try to lead me on with sexual talk then say "hey, I said i just wanted to be friends" when I make a move on them. Those women are not friends at all. They are just damn annoying and are deleted from my life. 1
empresario Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I think it depends on the guy as much as the girl. For example, those that know my story know I own a very tight-knit startup. We are like a family (around 30 employees). I will introduce to you two personality types. The first is my business partner. He is a sales guy and you love him the second you meet him. He has the personality of a teddy bear and people usually think of him as pretty harmless. When someone has exciting news he is the first to run up and hug them. Of course there are people that I can just tell you he wouldn't do that. Then there's me (and also my other business partner). We are both operations and a little more suit and tie (metaphorically, it's a startup so they're lucky I get dressed on most days). I think there would be an awkward silence if either of us tried to do the same plutonic affection; it would be awkward. I can't tell you what the difference is. You just either have that type of ability or you don't. 1
Shepp Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 (edited) Female friends like I-know-through-other-friends-and-we-socialise-in-the-same-group-etc not really... dont go out of my way not to touch them, might touch them on their shoulder to get their attention, but I dont actively touch them. Female friends like girls-in-my-core-social-group-since-I-was-6, girls I've grown up with who I consider as good as sisters.. yeah, we hug on greeting, causal touch on the shoulder, muss up their hair, might grab them if I'm chasing them with a water gun or hose - that kinda thing. I figure there's the friends you'd share a water bottle with, or take a bite from their sandwich and the friends you just wouldn't - I figure this is the same kinda thing! Its less the individuals involved and more your relationship. Edited July 15, 2015 by Shepp 1
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