kittenish01 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I have been with my ex-boyfriend going on three years now. He is 28 and I am 24. We had a great relationship, moved in after a year, on the road to getting engaged. In November his mother got diagnosed with terminal cancer and it was devastating for both of us. I do not have a relationship with my mother so I took it as I was loosing a mother as well.I was there by his side for what were the hardest three months of my life. She passed away in January. I seemed to take it harder then my boyfriend did at the time. He was back at work the next day. Things eventually got back to as normal as they could be. My ex boyfriend refused to see any therapy and wanted to deal with everything on his own. We got our lease renewal form in June and I thought it was good to go there would be no reasons/issues why we wouldn't re-sign. He then brought up he was lost with himself and not happy with himself. He does not feel like a full person and it takes a full person to be in a relationship. That he has to let me go because it is not fair for me to be with him right now. I was very hurt and confused at first because I was also going through grief and I was there for him the whole time and also lost someone who meant a lot to me. I thought this whole situation would make us stronger, not tear us apart. I decided to get my own place and will be moving out August.1 . We are still living together and he is very present in my life. I don't know the best way to go about things when I move out, do I loose connection completely so he can find himself? Do I stay in contact? He says he doesn't want me fully out of his life and would like to keep and contact but understands if i need to completely cut off all ties. He keeps saying if things are meant to be they will be and life will bring us back together, I don't know how long I will be able to hold onto that without moving on in my own life. I love him deeply and know he needs this. Has anyone in this situation ever came back full circle and re-united with a loved one who lost someone? Any help or insight would be appreciated..
Ariess10 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 You gotta live for yourself not him.. Go full nc and move on with your life.. Or you can sit around waiting on someone .. I think your smart enough to pick the right one
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I was about 5 years into a relationship when my then BF's mom passed. He check out for a while. It was how he grieved. We stayed together but I knew he was hurting. When my parents died, I crumbled. After 4 years, I am only now starting to see the light again. Bless my husband because he put up with so much. People grieve differently. If you love him, hang on & be patient. Don't push. Just listen. That doesn't mean you have to live with him
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